


Not on My Watch I thru IV (3/4)

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-04-15
Updated: 2000-04-15
Packaged: 2018-11-20 15:30:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 65,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11338272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Mulder gets himself involved in a hostage situation, and just when it looks as though things could get *really* ugly, Alex steps in and saves him. Atta boy, Alex. And now Mulder has gone from the frying pan and into the fire...so to speak.  See story for additional details.





	Not on My Watch I thru IV (3/4)

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Not On My Watch I by Aries

Tepid beef stew and a beer.

//Boy, this is living.//

Skinner shoved the bowl aside and looked over at the paper he'd picked up on his way home today.

It had taken him fifteen minutes of walking in circles to decide to actually buy the singles paper, and when he finally did, he kept his head down, paid the vendor, and walked quickly away.

Now it sat on his coffee table, unread and unfolded...beckoning to him.

He gingerly picked the paper up and opened it. He immediately noticed a large gay and lesbian section, advertising the many clubs and events in the area.

"Damn."

He'd had no idea that Washington had such a large homosexual community, but the ads for at least twenty to thirty clubs, and pages and pages of singles ads certainly seemed to confirm it.

He closed his eyes and rolled the paper up in his square hands.

//What the hell are you doing?//

The throbbing in his jeans answered that question.

//But it's not a meaningless fuck you want. It's *him*.//

//Well, you can't *have* him, can you? Every last inch of him belongs to that son of a bitch Krycek. So why *not* go looking for a little action? You've jerked off how many times since yesterday and what good has it done you? Maybe a nice warm mouth will fix you...for a little while, at least...//

He unrolled the paper and spread it out before him.

//Now. Where the hell to go?//

********************

Alex's car pulled into a large parking lot behind the club, and the two alighted from the vehicle. He took Fox's hand and they made their way toward the front of the building. As they walked past a green Buick, Fox smiled. Inside, a couple of men were kissing and groping each other like there was no tomorrow.

"I guess we're at the right place," he said dryly, looking from the car to another couple just outside the front of the club. One of the men was against the wall and the other was pressed up against him, mouth clamped on his neck.

Just before they reached the door, it burst open and a slightly-built blonde man dashed from the building and down the street. A larger man, also blonde, ran out after him, calling his name.

"Somebody's upset," Fox commented as they finally reached the door, and one of the men against the wall tore his attention away from his partner long enough to respond.

"Jimmy and Roger. Those two have a fight at least twice a week." Then, without missing a beat, he resumed sucking on his lover's neck.

Alex snorted, shaking his head, and opened the door. With his hand closed securely around Fox's, they stepped inside.

The club was pretty much as Alex had described it. Fairly dark with three large levels for dancing off to the right. Fox looked up and noticed another floor circling the perimeter of the place. There, he noticed mostly tables and a few sofas, most of which were occupied. The denizens of the second floor, if not otherwise engaged, sipped their drinks and watched the goings-on below.

"Want to get something to drink?"

Fox's attention snapped back to his lover, and he nodded. Alex tugged him gently toward the bar, and while they waited to place their order, the younger man slipped his hand beneath Fox's leather jacket and rubbed his silk-covered back.

"What do you think?"

Fox looked around again, noting the sensuous throb of the music and rhythmic gyrations of the bodies on the dance floor, and looked back to his lover. "I like it."

Alex snaked his arm around Fox's waist and pulled him against his chest. "I knew you would. It's very uh..." He glanced to his left at the couple who were feverishly humping each other against the bar, then looked back. "...inspirational."

Before Fox could reply, the two to their left cried out, one after the other, then slumped against each other. Fox buried his head in Alex's chest, and he shook with laughter.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Alex inquired, slipping a hand under Fox's chin and lifting his head. "By the end of the night, you're going to be coming, too. Of course, it'll be better than *that*..."

Fox's eyes widened. "What? Oh...oh, no, I *won't*."

"Oh, yes, you *will*."

"Not *here*, I won't."

Alex anchored his hand in Fox's hair, holding his head still for the searing gaze the older man had come to know as deadly serious. "Yes, you will."

Fox's mouth trembled into a nervous smile. "Alex...I...I..."

"You what?" His hips moved slowly, seducing; cajoling and mesmerizing the other's into an identical rhythm.

Fox watched the green eyes darken to something resembling a starless sky, and he fell. Just fell into them as easily as if they were a pool of warm, still water. He leaned slowly forward, never closing his eyes until the very last moment, and delicately brushed his lips across his lover's.

Alex slid one hand down to Fox's ass as they writhed together, just barely making contact, and his tongue slithered out to caress his lover's trembling mouth. "Are you going to come for me tonight?"

Fox sucked in a shaky breath and nodded.

"Whenever and wherever I want you to?" He felt the soft rush of breath as Fox whispered the word 'yes' against his lips.

"Good." Alex bit down on that pouting lower lip and tugged gently. "I knew you'd see it my way."

The bartender finally made it down to their end of the bar and Alex placed the order. When they had their drinks in hand, they moved through the crowd, Alex pulling his lover along behind him. Finding no open tables, they moved into a dark corner of the club, and Alex backed Fox into the wall. He leaned into the older man, letting his lover feel every inch of him. He then took a long swallow from his beer bottle, and as he pulled it away, he rubbed it across Fox's mouth.

"Have I told you how incredibly fucking hot you look tonight?"

"More or less," Fox answered in that same smoky tone.

Alex gave him a half-smirk and let the mouth of the bottle slide over his chin and down the column of his throat. "So damn fucking sexy."

Fox watched silently as Alex drained his bottle then looked at the one dangling from his fingers. He reached down and gently pulled the bottle from Fox's grip and held it up to his mouth. Fox obediently parted his lips and drank as Alex held the bottle. When he'd drained most of the contents, Alex disposed of both bottles and pulled him out onto the dance floor.

Choosing the most conspicuous spot on the third level, Alex jerked his lover against him and they started to move in time to the pounding beat.

A few couples around them watched in appreciation as the two men writhed in perfectly in-sync, wild abandon, quickly and completely becoming lost in the music and each other.

His face not more than three inches from his lover's, Alex watched small beads of sweat appear on Fox's face and run down it as his body undulated in his lover's embrace. Unable to resist temptation, he moved and and licked the moisture away from Fox's jaw. He felt the vibration of the older man's groan, and Fox's head fell back, giving him clear access to his throat.

Several people watched, hypnotized, as the two rocked against each other, and one licked a long path up the other's throat. When he reached his partner's chin, he tangled one hand in his hair and pulled him into a ravenous kiss...

As the erotic scene played out on the third level, a newcomer entered the club, looking around and at the same time trying to remain unnoticed. Soon enough, he followed the attention of a good many people and squinted at the familiar men dancing at least six feet above the main floor.

Men.

Barely.

The way they moved. The way they clutched at each other; devoured each other's mouths, it was so feral, so...barely human.

They were gorgeous.

The one with the lighter hair shifted his head and all at once, Walter Skinner's world collapsed.

Mulder and Krycek.

"Jesus Christ."

The man he'd come to stand beside looked over at him and smiled. "Fucking hot, aren't they? The temperature has shot up at least thirty degrees since they've been up there. Watch." The man's eyes darted around. "Any time now, this place is going to explode."

Skinner blinked, unable to tear his eyes away...unable to keep his heart from thudding painfully in his chest. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"They've got everybody in this joint horny, now." The stranger smiled at the larger man. "*Everybody's* gonna get some tonight."

Skinner continued to watch, all at once horrified and hypnotized. This wasn't happening to him. This was *not* happening to him. Of all the goddamn clubs in this city, he had to pick this one...

The driving beat faded and switched to something slow, and sexy, and impossibly romantic, and the two simply melted into the new rhythm. Alex's mouth gentled on his lover's, and he pulled him into this arms, holding him in a loving embrace as they swayed gently. Their hands glided over each other, keeping themselves well aroused, and when a voice sounded only inches behind Alex's right ear, his eyes snapped open in surprise.

"Hey, uh...mind if I cut in?"

He and Fox looked at the man who stood about as tall as they did. Deep blue eyes flicked hopefully from his face to Fox's.

"Just one dance." The man smiled at Alex. "I'll give him right back to you...assuming he wants to come back."

Alex felt Fox's hands clench in his shirt and the golden-brown head dropped to his shoulder. "Sorry," he said flatly, petting his lover's head.

The other man nodded and smiled politely. "Can't say I blame you. Have a good night."

When the stranger had gone, Alex urged Fox to lift his head.

"A lot of that goes on here."

"That?"

"Yeah. There are a ton of singles here. They come to pair off for the night. A single person might go through seven or eight guys before he finds the one he wants. That guy wanted you. He gave it a shot and failed...he won't bother us again." He hugged his lover to him. "Word'll get around fast that we're together and we'll be pretty much left alone. They'll just content themselves to watch."

Fox rubbed his head against the younger man's shoulder then picked his head up. "I thought I was going to come at least three times during that first dance."

"Why didn't you?" Alex pivoted and continued to rock with his lover.

Fox gave him a timid smile. "I didn't think you'd be happy if I did."

Alex's fingers stroked a path down Fox's chest and began to work the buttons of his shirt loose. "And you want to make me happy?"

Fox's eyes grew heavy, and he nodded, whispering, "You know I do."

Alex's hand swept inside his lover's open shirt and grazed one hard nipple. "Then let's find someplace to get comfortable." He took Fox's hand and, keeping the other man very close, he moved through the crowd and found a newly deserted sofa. He dropped down to the cushions, pulling Fox with him...

********************

Having ordered himself a beer, Skinner prowled around the room, ignoring a number of propositions and leering looks. Shit, he was here, so he might as well observe these two together while Alex didn't know he had an audience.

He found a spot that was out of the men's immediate line of sight, but where he had a good view. And minutes after he settled down to watch, he wished he hadn't. His hand tightened around his bottle as Mulder curled against that bastard, stroking and nuzzling him. And the look on Krycek's face was one of pure, sensuous bliss.

********************

Alex let his head drop back over the sofa cushion, enjoying his lover's attention. He stroked and petted the older man's back and hair, then curled his fingers in the strands and gently pulled Fox's head up. Their eyes met, and Alex opened his mouth to speak.

Skinner couldn't make out a word at this distance, but when Krycek had finished speaking, Fox pitched forward, wrapping his arms around the other man's waist and began kissing and nipping his way down his t-shirt covered chest. Before he realized it, he was watching, slack-jawed, as Mulder lowered his head and nuzzled the other man's crotch. He forgot how to breathe as he saw Mulder's tongue creep out from between his lips and lick slowly at the denim-covered bulge. Krycek's head rolled from side to side, then he lifted it a few inches off the back of the sofa and said something else. Mulder looked up at him, and he caressed the older man's face, then moved his hand to his crotch. He undid the button and pulled the zipper down, then reached inside. He held his own cock with one hand and placed the other on his lover's head.

"Don't do it, Mulder," Skinner whispered desperately, though he knew it was pointless. "Don't let him degrade you in front of this crowd..." He looked around and realized that Mulder and Krycek weren't the only two engaged in such activity. All around him couples were making out; giving and receiving head...some outright fucking, and no one but those who were getting off on it were watching. He looked back and released a low groan when he found Mulder deep-throating the man on the sofa with him. Despite his disgust, his cock swelled painfully in his jeans, and the urge to unzip and jerk off overwhelmed him.

//What the fuck? Other's are doing it.//

"I can do that for you."

His eyes snapped up to the man standing over him. "What?"

The man sank down beside him and let a hand creep up his leg. "You're stroking yourself. Let me do it for you. I've been told I give great hand jobs."

"No...*no*. Get the hell out of here."

The man followed Skinner's gaze. "Wish it was you he was sucking on like that? Hey, me too. But it's a no-go. Did you see them dancing earlier? They're so deep into each other, ain't nobody ever gonna pull them out. So, why the hell not get a little pleasure where we can while we fantasize that the pretty slut with the perfect mouth is sucking us into oblivion?"

"He's not a slut," Skinner growled, more than a bit irritated by the other man's comment.

"Hey, relax babe, it's not a *bad* thing, you know." He studied the older man's expression and smiled. "Ohhhh, I got it." He looked from Skinner, to the couple on the sofa, then back. "You *know* them. Or at least *him*." His eyes took on a delighted glint. "Was he *yours*? Is that it? And he left you for that fine thang he's with now?"

Skinner lowered his head, and his jaw began to clench.

"Don't feel bad, man. At least you can understand why he wants the guy. That's one gorgeous piece of meat right there. How about when they dump you for some greasy scrub, and when you demand to know why, they give you some horse shit about how they feel like you just don't love them anymore. Okay. So I wasn't a cuddler. But the sex was fuckin' awesome, and he can't ever deny it, the little shit..."

Skinner tuned the man out as Mulder's head rose and fell, Krycek's cock disappearing again and again into his mouth. And Krycek, seemingly hanging on by a fingernail continued to stroke and encourage the other man...

********************

 

* * *

 

Not On My Watch III - Comfort Is A Four-Letter Word continued

* * *

"That's it, baby," Alex gasped as Fox's mouth caressed every inch of him. "God, you're so hot...oh...oh, shit. Fox, wait...stop, baby." He pulled Fox's head away and sat trembling while the older man pulled himself up and snuggled against his heaving chest.

"Alex," Fox cooed against his lover's throat. "Why'd you want me to stop?"

"Too close, baby," Alex gasped. "I was too damn close."

Fox kissed his way up to the younger man's ear and moaned into it, "Don't you want to come in my mouth, Alex?"

Alex's eyes rolled up into his head and his lids dropped over them as his lover continued to provoke him.

"I want to suck every last drop from you. Please let me..."

"Jesus Christ." Alex shifted, holding Fox's head still, and took his mouth in a fierce kiss. After long seconds, he released the older man, leaving him writhing and whimpering. "I'll be back," he whispered against Fox's mouth, then moved to push the older man away. He rose to his feet, then zipped his pants and leaned over the body sprawled on the sofa. "You behave yourself while I'm gone."

Fox reached up, curling his fingers in Alex's jacket. "Where are you going?"

The younger man smoothed the frown from his lover's brow. "Don't worry, I won't leave you for long, but I gotta hit the men's room, then I gotta go get something."

"Something?"

"Yeah." Alex kissed the pouting lips then pryed Fox's fingers loose from his jacket. "Be back in a few." He straightened up and groaned, meeting his lover's heavy-lidded stare.

So damn beautiful.

He forced himself to turn and walk away, giving warning glares to those who were hovering nearby. The predators backed away, correctly reading the glitter in his eyes, and he headed into the bathroom.

********************

Skinner watched, confused and angry that Krycek would actually leave Mulder in that condition and *alone* there with all those vultures orbiting the sofa. Though it had now been a few minutes since Krycek had gone, and not a one of them attempted to approach the man draped over the sofa.

His eyes fell back to Mulder, and he took a deep, steadying breath.

Absolutely gorgeous in repose, the long, lean body lay in a boneless heap across the length of the sofa. Head thrown back over the arm, hair carelessly tousled, and one hand resting on his forehead while the other dangled over the edge of the seat.

God, what a picture. Every pore in the man's body screamed 'fuck me', and so many people would have loved to oblige. He could see it in their expressions...in the way they stared and in every flick of their tongues over too-dry lips.

He was one of them.

He looked around realizing for the first time that his unwanted companion had gone.

//Guess he got tired of talking to himself.//

As he was turning his attention back to the man on the sofa, a familiar voice sounded just behind his right ear.

"You following us or what?"

He spun in his seat and came face to face with Alex Krycek.

"What are doing here, Walt?"

"I didn't follow you," the older man snapped, averting his gaze.

"But you were watching us."

"Half the club was watching you. What the hell are you doing to him, Krycek?"

"Nothing he doesn't want me to do." The younger man moved, coming to stand beside the one who had remained seated. "I didn't know you came to places like this."

Skinner avoided the observation and glanced down at the blanket that the other man carried.

Alex followed the brown gaze and smiled down at Skinner. "They have a rule here. No fucking on uncovered furniture." He smiled as the older man's face went from crimson to near-purple. "Hey, breathe, Wally. Don't have a stroke, now."

"You're...you're *not*."

"I'm not?"

"You wouldn't do that to him."

"Why do you keep saying that? I repeat. I am not doing *anything* to Fox that he isn't begging for me to do to him."

"You're telling me he *wanted* to give you a blow job there in front of all those people?"

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying. What d'you think? You think I held a gun on him? You think I hypnotized him? News flash, Wally, I'm not a magician and, contrary to popular belief, I am *not* the devil. I'm a man just like you are..." He looked the other man up and down. "Well...not *just* like you...and I can't make Fox do anything that he really doesn't want to do. Now. If you'll excuse me..."

"Krycek."

Alex stopped and looked back at the older man.

"Krycek...don't."

Alex gave him a sly grin. "It's just like t.v., Wally. If you don't like what's on, shut it off." That said, he turned on his heel and headed back to his lover.

Skinner sat, clenching his hands and wishing he'd never come to this place.

//He's right, though. You don't want to see it? Get up and walk the hell out.//

Yet, he stayed and watched as the dark-haired man leaned over his lover and dragged his tongue across the slightly parted lips...

********************

Fox moaned at the feel of his lover's tongue on his mouth, and he stretched up for a kiss. Alex obliged him, then coaxed him to stand. As the younger man spread the folded blanket over the sofa, Fox stood behind him, rubbing and caressing his back and ass.

"Now, are you going to tell me what that's for?"

Alex finished tucking the blanket into the cushions and turned around, pulling Fox into his arms. He laid a long, hungry kiss on him then sat down, pulling the older man across his lap.

Fox forgot his question as Alex brought their mouths together once again.

Tenderly, Alex's mouth slid over the other man's while one hand traveled slowly over his thigh, up his hip and side, then back down, leaving a trail of tingling flesh in its wake.

"I love you so much, baby."

The words flowed like warm honey from his lips, sweetly caressing Fox and sending delicious tingles up his spine.

Fox shuddered delicately at Alex's declaration and sighed softly into his mouth. He curled his arm around his lover's neck, and his lips parted, pressing a bit closer and silently asking for more.

Green eyes flicked up momentarily, meeting with those on the other side of the room, then Alex took his lover's mouth in a deep, bone-melting kiss. While one hand cradled Fox, the other pulled his shirt free of his jeans, and, pulling the older man's arm away from his neck, he pushed the shirt from his shoulders.

Fox arched his back and moaned softly as Alex's hand skimmed over his chest, stroking the hot skin. His tongue tangled with his lover's, caressing and teasing, and turning the heat up on his already over-heated senses. As they kissed, Alex's fingers closed over one nipple, and he withdrew from the younger man's mouth, gasping loudly as his head fell back over the arm that held him.

"That feel good, sweetheart?" Alex rumbled against his throat as he pulled gently on the hard nub.

Fox whimpered and nodded, his eyes half opening.

Alex leaned down and grazed his lover's lips with his own. "I love to make you feel good. There's nothing more beautiful in the world than my Fox when he's turned on." Alex glanced around, quickly surveying their immediate situation. "You know, there are about twenty people watching us." He paused, waiting for Fox's reaction. When the older man sighed and writhed against him, a satisfied smirk curved his mouth. "That makes you hot, doesn't it baby? Tell me."

Fox's chest heaved slowly with the effort it took him to form the word. "Yes," he hissed, rubbing his head against Alex's arm.

"I know it does," Alex purred. "It's in your eyes. They tell me so much." His hand left Fox's chest and slid down over the quivering muscles of his abdomen, then came to rest over the rock-hard bulge in his jeans. A choked moan escaped Fox's throat, and Alex squeezed gently. "I have a surprise for you, Fox."

Golden-brown eyelashes fluttered in the effort of remain open, and Fox turned his head, blinking up at his lover.

Alex stared down into passion-darkened eyes and, as he lovingly stroked Fox's restrained cock, he opened his mouth to speak.

"We have a special guest."

Fox sent him a confused look.

"Skinner is here."

"S-Skinner?"

"And he's watching us."

Fox exhaled and forgot to inhale.

"I saw him as I was coming back in from the car. He didn't follow us, he just happened in here. But he sat there and watched you suck my cock. He'd like to kill me...he *wants* to leave, but he can't. He won't. He's too turned on." His hand began moving in circles over the denim-covered mound. "Just like everybody else who's watching us." He smiled. "We're very pretty together, you know..." Gently, he undid the top button on Fox's jeans. "...you can't blame him for wanting to watch. And you know, maybe this is just what he needs."

Refusing to look around, Fox kept his eyes focused on Alex's. "What he needs?"

The younger man grasped the zipper and slowly worked it downward. "Yeah. He needs to know. I don't think he really knows."

Fox's eyes closed and re-opened as Alex's hand slipped inside the fold of his underwear. "Knows what?"

Alex's fingers curled around the older man's cock and squeezed gently. "That you're mine."

Exquisitely swollen lips parted on a long gasp. "He knows."

"He doesn't want to believe it. He keeps hoping that I'll turn out to be who he thinks I am. He keeps hoping I'll leave you." Alex's hand moved up and down the rigid shaft. "Never. He needs to know that he'll *never* have you." He moved his hand away from his lover's aching cock and started to push his pants down. "Are you mine, Fox?"

Fox stared, mesmerized by the turbulent ocean of green above him. He gave a faint hint of a nod, and before he knew it, he was lifting his hips so that his lover could push his jeans down to his knees.

"Show me, baby...show him."

Alex manuevered himself from under Fox's weight and finished removing the clothing from his lower body. Making quick work of his own, he pulled Fox's legs apart and kneeled between them. As he reached into the inside pocket of the jacket he still wore, he produced a small tube of lubricant then leaned over his overcome lover. "Are you ready, baby?" he asked, squeezing some gel out onto his fingers.

"Yes," Fox rasped, squirming beneath him. "Please, Alex."

Alex kissed his mouth softly then slowly worked his way down, licking and teasing the perspiration-slick skin. He paused at Fox's navel, tickling the indentation then followed the fine line of hair that flowed into the darker thatch that surrounded his cock.

********************

The man who sat sweating not more than twenty feet away, swallowed a frustrated groan as the one laid out on the sofa threw his head back and cried out his lover's name. Even through the blaring music he could hear the sound clearly.

Understandable, he thought, since the bastard kneeling between Mulder's legs had just sucked his cock into his mouth and slid two fingers into his ass.

His own cock threatened to rip a hole through his pants as he watched the man he would never have pant and writhe under his lover's attention.

//What the fuck are you doing? Why are you torturing yourself this way?//

//He won't do it. He won't let that son of a bitch fuck him here in front of all these degenerates. He'll stop it. I want to see him stop it.//

//When you say 'degenerates', are you including yourself? Go home, Walt. You're playing right along with Krycek's warped little game. Don't let him....what...what the fuck is he doing?//

********************

Fox bucked into Alex's mouth, sobbing for release, but the younger man picked his head up, letting his tongue drag along the swollen shaft. He briefly teased the head, licking away the bitter drop of fluid at the tip, then pulled his lover up. He skimmed Fox's jaw with his knuckles, then kissed the tip of his nose.

"Fox...look at me, baby."

The older man's lashes lifted part of the way and he focused a glassy stare on the man before him.

"Do something for me."

Fox swallowed against the dryness in his throat then responded. "What?" he whispered on a ragged breath.

"Ride me."

Fox's mouth fell open and he released a hard breath.

"Please, love." Alex brushed his lips against the other man's. "I love the way you move when you're on top of me."

Without a word, Fox pulled himself to the edge of the sofa with shaking arms and waited until Alex had dropped to his back. He then climbed on top of the prone man and sat up.

Alex reached up, stroking the older man's chest and arms. "You're in control, lover. I'm all yours."

Fox bit down on the corner of his lower lip as Alex plucked lightly at his nipples. He raised his hands up to his lover's, stroking over the backs of them, then down his arms and up again. He hesitated then bent over, bringing their lips together for a long, soft kiss. When he pulled away, he sat up, lifting himself just far enough to guide the other man's cock to his slick opening.

"Oh, God, yesssss." Alex's head rolled back and forth as he felt himself slide into his lover's tight warmth. His hands fell to Fox's legs and slid over his thighs, clenching in the muscles there. His jaw tightened as Fox began to move, and he hissed through gritted teeth, "Show him..."

Fox arched his neck, and he groaned into the pulsing air as he rocked against the man beneath him. "Jesus..." He lifted his head and looked down into black eyes. "I can't...Alex, I can't..." His gaze turned up to a trio of men lounging on a larger sofa about ten feet away, stroking and petting each other while they watched. His eyes dropped back to his lover's. "...can't hold on..."

"Yes, you can, baby," Alex insisted as his hands wandered over Fox's thighs then up to his chest. "Just a little longer. Please? You feel so good."

Fox emitted a soft sob but held himself in check as he continued to glide up and down on his lover's glistening cock.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Alex panted. "Thank you." His fingertips stroked over Fox's throat, then his face. "I love you...my God, I love you..."

Magic words.

Fox grasped the younger man's hands, lacing their fingers together, then held them down beside his head. He leaned in, engaging Alex in a hard, breath-stealing kiss, and when he finally broke away, his mouth moved to the base of the other man's neck, sucking abruptly at the sensitive curve just before the start of his shoulder.

Alex gritted his teeth, enduring the sweet, hot pain as he bucked upward, pushing himself deeper into his lover. Unable to help himself, he cried out as Fox's teeth sank into his flesh, leaving deep grooves when the older man finally pulled away.

And now it was he who couldn't wait.

He wrapped his hand around his lover's cock and began to milk it as their movements turned frantic. His head rolled to the side, and, though initially unfocused, his eyes adjusted to his surroundings, and he fixed a heavy-lidded, glazed stare on the man across the room. His eyes closed as Fox thrashed against him, and his hand automatically increased its speed, insuring that they reached satisfaction together.

"Come on, Alex," Fox gasped as he squeezed his lover's cock on every upstroke. "I'm right there...come with me..."

Alex jerked against Fox as he felt the tremendous release of pressure, and he threw his head back, emitting a long, sobbing growl. His hand stopped moving at the very peak of his climax, but soon resumed its jerky movements, and seconds later, it was covered in warm, slick fluid as Fox shuddered and screamed above him.

********************

Skinner took no notice of the numbness in his hands as they clenched together. He'd sat right here through the whole thing and still couldn't believe what he'd seen.

Fox Mulder fucking Alex *Krycek* in the middle of a gay club and loving every sticky, sweaty minute of it.

He could say he was disgusted, but it wouldn't be entirely true. The disgust part only came in so far as Krycek was concerned. But Mulder...Fox....he was gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful.

Jesus, his cock throbbed.

How could Mulder waste himself on such a dirty, low, rotten motherfucker when he could know what a real relationship felt like...*and* keep his job...

His regard fell back to the two who were now collapsed on the sofa. Mulder lay on top of Krycek, head tucked under his chin, softly nuzzling his chest, and Krycek...

The green eyes drifted open and again focused on his. A weary but cocky smile was sent his way, and then he turned his attention back to his lover, tightening his arms around the exhausted body and kissing the top of his head.

Skinner closed his eyes, trying to will the shaking of his hands to stop.

//What am I going to do...what the *hell* am I going to do?//

********************

Fox opened his eyes and lifted his head, looking down into the sated face of his lover. Seeing the self-satisfied, amber gleam, Alex smiled up at him, stroking his stubbled chin.

"You're a really bad influence on me."

Fox fell back to his chest, laughing. "Oh, yeah. I don't know what the hell you're doing with a guy like me." He went quiet for a few brief seconds, then pressed into his lover, burying his face in the curve of his shoulder. "Uh...Alex? Maybe we should put our pants on now?"

"What'sa matter, babe? Feeling a draft?"

"No, but...both of your hands are on my back, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, somebody's hand was just on my ass."

"*What*?" Alex shifted quickly, practically pushing Fox off of him, and the two men sat up.

Eyes that until this moment were on them, slid away as a piercing green gaze roamed the immediate area.

"You don't think that anyone's gonna step forward and admit to it, do you?" Fox asked while handing Alex his pants and pulling his own on.

Alex sent another glare around the room, then got dressed. Putting his ire aside, he pulled the older man into his arms. "I think Skinner is gone. I don't see him around."

Fox's head lowered at the mention of the other man. "I wonder what he was doing here."

"I don't know." Alex mumbled against his lover's forehead then drew back a bit. "Do I detect a little regret in your voice?"

"I just...I don't want to hurt him, Alex."

"If he's hurting, babe, it's his own fault. He could easily have picked himself up and got the hell out of here as soon as he saw us. Instead, he sat and watched."

"I know, but..."

"But, what?"

"He's still a friend."

"A friend who wants to nail you...even now."

"After tonight? I don't think so."

Alex cupped his lover's chin and lifted until he could see his eyes. "He may have been convinced that he can't have you, but it won't stop him from wanting you. Nothing ever stopped *me* from wanting you."

Fox gave him a soft smile. "Assuming you're right, I wonder what watching us would accomplish...besides aggravating himself, I mean."

"Wally's that gotta-see-it-for-himself type of guy." A devish grin lit his face. "He saw. Now he's gone home to jerk off under the covers...in the dark..."

"Alex..."

"What? He didn't *have* to. I bet he could've found at least one guy around here who wanted to see what kind of heat he was packin'..."

Fox rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"So, if he'd rather go home and whack off while he fantasizes about fucking *my* man, that's his business. I see no reason why you should feel bad about it...I'm thirsty. Want a drink?"

Fox gave his head a quick shake. "I thought you were going to warn me before you did that."

Alex laughed and gave him a fast kiss. "Sorry 'bout that." He summoned a passing waiter and ordered a couple of beers, then relaxed back against the sofa. "God, you did me in. My legs feel like spaghetti."

Fox leaned in, kissing then nipping at his mouth. "You're getting old, Krycek."

"Yeah, well, if I'm old, what does that make you?"

"Me?" The older man grinned. "I'm in my prime."

"Oh. Right." Alex nodded. "Of course, you are."

Fox delivered a stinging slap to his lover's thigh and rose to his feet. "I'm going to the men's room. Try not to miss me too much."

Alex winked at him then tilted his head back against the cushion and closed his eyes. Only a few minutes after his lover had departed, his eyes reopened and he looked up at the man who stood over him. He quickly sized up the newcomer and cocked his head to one side.

"Can I help you?"

"God, I hope so." The standing man's eyes roved appreciatively over the sprawled figure. "I've been looking for a man like you."

Alex gave him a cocky grin. "Who hasn't?"

The other man smiled back. "I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"Knew you were just loaded with attitude. A true Dom."

"Really."

"I was watching you with that sweet thing you're with. Isn't hard to see who's top dog."

Alex listened, amused.

"Anyway, I had a propostion for you."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah." The man glanced to his right. "See the guy at the fourth table from that post?"

Alex leaned back to look. "....Yeah."

"That's my Rodney. If you couldn't tell, he's a sub...big time. And I would *love* to watch you do him. And maybe later, the three of us could..."

"Could *what*?"

Alex's eyes shifted, and he grinned up at Fox who had come to stand directly behind the other man.

Before the man could answer, Fox spoke again, an irritated, possessive glitter in his eyes. "He's not doing anything with you, Rodney, or anyone else." He brushed past the man, taking a seat beside Alex, petting the sable head as the younger man nestled against him. Alex turned his face up, and Fox immediately claimed his mouth. When he broke the kiss, he bit into Alex's lower lip until his victim moaned, then released him and looked back up at the confused man. "You still here?"

Alex waved goodbye to the speechless, retreating man then turned his attention to Fox.

"You weren't very nice to that guy. In fact, you were actually kinda mean." He rubbed his head against his lover's shoulder. "Damn, I'm turned on."

Fox broke into laughter. "You're a twisted bastard."

"Yeah..." Alex took the beers and paid the waiter who had just arrived. "...don't you just love me?"

They drank their beer, danced a little more, then headed for home. Once there, they ripped at each other's clothing, tumbled into the shower and emerged twenty minutes later, exhausted but clean. They fell naked into bed, Alex sprawled across his lover's chest, and they almost immediately drifted into a deep sleep.

********************

"You gonna get that?" Alex murmured to his groaning lover as the ring of the phone pierced the air.

"You're closer."

Alex groped around and finally found the offending object.

"H'llo?"

Silence, then, "Krycek."

Alex's mouth turned into a sleepy smile. "Hey, Walt. What happened to you last night? Fox and I were gonna invite you over for a drink afterward. You looked like you could have used one..."

"Oh, God," Fox groaned. "Give me the damn phone."

Alex moved out of his reach, now fully awake and in perfect, pain-in-the-ass form.

"Hey, Walt, you there?"

There was a heavy silence, then Skinner responded in a low, deliberate voice. "You and I need to talk, Krycek."

"Isn't that what we're doing?"

"Face to face."

"Man to man?"

"Well, you're half right. Meet me at six at my apartment."

"You got it, stud..."

"*Alex*."

He gave Fox a slightly annoyed look and sighed into the phone. "I'm going to give Fox the phone before he pops a vein. Really nice talking to you. Have a good day..."

Fox snatched the phone from Alex's loosened grip and held it up to his ear. "Hello." He heard the long intake of breath, then the soft baritone.

"Mulder...uh...listen, I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"S'okay."

"I'm...I'm sorry about yesterday, too. I should have left as soon as I saw you."

"Don't worry about it...is that why you called?"

"No. No, I...I just called to tell you that your job is still there if you want it." Silence greeted his announcement. "Mulder?"

"Yeah. I'm here. I uh...I guess I really didn't expect to hear that, especially..."

"Especially after last night? Yeah. Me either, but your personal life has nothing to do with your professional life, and if you're very sure that Krycek isn't a risk, then that's good enough for me."

Fox glanced over at his lover who had stretched out alongside him, snuggling into the pillows. He caressed Alex's stubbled cheek and smiled down into the curious face.

"Will you come back to work?"

"...No stipulations?"

"No."

"All right. I'll come back."

Alex's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Good. See you on Monday, then."

"Right....Walter?"

There was a brief hesitation, then the other man answered.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"...Goodbye, Mulder."

Fox waited for the click then placed the phone down on the mattress.

"So, he wants you to come back."

"Yeah."

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"He's a fair, reasonable man, Alex. He knows he needs me on the X-files."

"He knows he needs you in his bed."

"*And* he knows it's never going to happen. It'll be business as usual."

"Yeah, okay."

"It *will* be."

Alex patted his lover's hand. "Yeah, babe. And then you'll wake up."

"Do you have to be so damned cynical?"

Alex propped himself up on one elbow, resting his head in his hand. "Have I, or have I not, been right so far about both Scully *and* Skinner?"

Fox heaved a heavy sigh. "Yeah, but..."

One dark eyebrow arched.

Fox suddenly rolled over onto the younger man, flattening and pinning him to the mattress. "Don't be so damned smug. Everything's gonna be okay. We'll work it out," he murmured just before his mouth came down on Alex's, obliterating any more thoughts of Skinner and work.

Over an hour later, they collapsed together, struggling for breath.

"God, you're gonna be the death of me," Fox complained good-naturedly, scattering a number of kisses in his lover's hair.

"You started it," Alex rumbled contentedly. "Besides, I thought you were in your prime?"

"That was last night. This morning, I'm feeling just a little old."

The two fell into a long silence, happy to lie coiled together, then Fox shifted, reaching for the phone.

"Who're you calling?"

"Scully."

Alex groaned and rolled onto his back, throwing one arm over his eyes. "So much for basking in the afterglow."

Fox cut him an impatient look as he punched in Scully's number. "You know, you're really gonna have to...Scully. It's me. Yeah...umm, I just wanted to call you to let you know that I'll be back at work on Monday." His voice took on an edge of irritation. "No, Scully, he's right here."

"Morning, Red," Alex called in his sweetest voice, prompting Fox to cover his mouth with his free hand. He chuckled into his lover's palm, then dragged his tongue across it.

Fox stifled a giggle and yanked his hand away, curling it into a fist and waving it at the younger man. Alex responded to the threat by dropping his head into Fox's lap and nuzzling his flaccid cock.

"Bastard. What? No, Scully, I'm not...yeah. He called me a little while ago. He promised no conditions. Huh? Hoarse? N-no, I'm not coming down with a cold. No. J-just a little tired still. Yeah...I will." His hand lowered to Alex's head, running his fingers through the uncombed hair as the younger man began to lick gently at his awakening cock. "I'll get some, Scully. Yeah, I promise. Gotta get out to the store anyway. Okay...right...see you then."

Fox hung up and dropped the phone down by his leg as he pressed his head back into the pillows and moaned.

Alex continued to tease his lover until he was fully erect, then sucked the entire length of the hardened shaft into his mouth. He brought Fox along quickly, unwilling to let his lover go until he felt the bitter proof of his relief pour down his throat. When Fox lay weakly against the pillows, a lazy smile playing at his lips, Alex slid up, kissing him softly. "I'm hungry," he whispered against his lover's mouth.

"Mmm hmm..."

"Come on. Up." He moved away and pulled Fox to his feet, then led him into the bathroom. "Hey...what was Scully telling you to get?"

"Vitamin C. She thinks I may be coming down with something because my voice sounded hoarse."

"Why didn't you just tell her?"

"Oh, yeah," Fox dead-panned as Alex turned on the shower. "That would've been good. 'No, Scully, I'm not catching cold or anything, it's just that Alex has got his head buried in my crotch here, and...'"

When the water was warm, Alex hauled him into the tub. "She's gotta get used to it sometime."

"I know." Fox turned his face up to the spray, saturating his hair, then let Alex do the same. "But I'd rather not push her into it. Let her do it in her own time."

Alex broke into laughter as he turned Fox around and began to wash his back. "Okay, sure. We'll let her do it in her own time. By then we'll either be dead or too old to care."

********************

Skinner shivered in the frigid evening air as he looked down from his balcony to the street below.

Not many cars out tonight, and even fewer pedestrians.

Too cold to be out. People were home with their families having dinner. With friends having a drink or two to fortify themselves against the winter chill...with lovers, bundled away under a layer of blankets...

Before self-pity could drown him in its miserable depths, he noticed a small black car moving up the street. It slowed as it approached his building then swung into the parking garage. The hair on the back of his neck prickled at his skin, and he knew that it had to be Krycek.

He moved into the warmth of his apartment, shutting the door quickly behind him, then paced slowly, waiting for the other man to make his appearance.

The duration of his wait was very brief, though to him, it seemed an eternity.

He took a deep breath and moved to the door when the knock sounded. Swinging the door open, he glared at the young man who stood leaning against the outside frame, arms crossed over his chest.

"Damn, Walt, why the look? Am I late or something?"

Skinner answered his question with a question. "Mulder know you're here?"

"Do you think I'd be here if he knew? I just told him I needed to go out for a while and that I'd be back soon...you gonna let me in, or are we gonna talk right here?"

Skinner scanned the length of the younger man's lean, relaxed body, taking in the worn boots, faded jeans that hugged him in all the right places, and leather jacket that put the finishing touches on his 'who gives a shit' demeanor. He stepped aside, grunting in disgust as Krycek prowled into the room.

"So," the younger man began, brushing past him, "you didn't tell me on the phone this morning. Did you enjoy yourself last night? You must have. You stayed long enough." He stopped in the middle of the living room and grinned at Skinner. "What d'you think? Pretty amazing, huh?"

Skinner's lip merely twitched.

"Told you he was gorgeous when he came." Alex closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. His eyes opened slowly and he gave the older man a sly grin. "And he's all mine." The tip of his tongue slid across the edge of his teeth and the grin faded. "So what do you want?"

The air whistled as Skinner's fist connected with Alex's jaw, spinning the younger man a hundred and eighty degrees.

The younger man froze in his twisted position, taking a moment to allow his vision to clear and the ringing in his head to stop. Finally, he opened his eyes wide, then his mouth, moving his jaw back and forth.

//Shit.//

He shook his head and turned back to face the man who stood before him, hands clenched, and hatred glittering in his eyes. His hand slid over his jaw, and a slow smile curved his lips.

"Nice right hook you got there. Feel better?"

Skinner answered, jaw not budging an inch. "A little."

"Well, that's good, but now *I* feel like shit."

Skinner saw the blow coming but couldn't move fast enough to avoid it. His head snapped back and he stumbled into the side of a chair, falling over the arm and landing sprawled on the seat. Before he could jump to his feet, he found himself inches from the gleaming black barrel of a gun.

Alex stood stone-still, pointing the Varjag at the other man's forehead. "Sorry, Wally," he purred. "I know you would have loved to get another shot in, and while I'm a sucker for a good fight, Fox kinda likes my pretty face the way it is. Now, are you gonna play nice, or do I have to stand here like this until my arm falls off?"

Skinner pulled himself into a more dignified position and glared at the younger man. "I called you here to talk."

"Not much talking so far."

"Put the gun away and sit down."

Alex secured the weapon and tucked it back into the waistband of his jeans. "I prefer to stand. Now why the hell have you got me here?"

"I want the truth from you...if you're capable."

"Truth about what?"

"What do you want with him?"

Alex stalked away, moving a few steps toward the sliding doors, then spun back to face Skinner. "Oh, for the love of...what is it with you and Scully?"

"We care about Mulder."

"Do you? Do you *really*."

"*Yes*."

"Then leave him alone. Stop trying to *protect* him."

"Somebody's got to."

"What, I haven't been doing a good enough job?"

"It's you he needs protection from."

Alex shook his head, laughing softly. "Walter, Walter, Walter. You're *so* wrong. He couldn't be more safe. I wouldn't hurt a hair on his pretty head. And I'd kill any motherfucker who even dared to look at him sideways." He moved forward and sat on the arm of the chair opposite the other man. "He'd do the same for me. Want to know why? He loves me. Oh, but you heard that the other day..."

"And I believed him," Skinner interrupted. "That's what scares the hell out of me. When you finally decide that you're tired of him and take off, it's going to devastate him."

"I'm not going anywhere, Walt." Alex paused for a moment, making sure that he had the other man's attention, then continued. "Hear what I'm telling you. Let the words saturate your brain. It should be easy. You got no hair up there to stop them. You listening? Okay. I. Love. Fox. Did you get that or do I need to wheel in a chalkboard?"

"Your assurances carry no weight with me, Krycek. I know who and what you are. You're incapable of love just like you're incapable of telling the truth."

"Fox would beg to differ. He's sure I love him."

"He's confused."

"Oh, really?"

"I don't know what you've done to him, but..."

Alex covered his face and rubbed his eyes with his fingertips. "God, you sound like Scully. Don't you two ever give it a rest?"

"Hard to do when someone we both care for is flirting with the devil."

"Thanks for the compliment, Wally, but we've gone *way* past flirting...and by the way. I know why you offered him his job back."

"Do you really?"

"It's got nothing to do with trusting his judgement. If you did, you wouldn't have me here. You know that if he isn't at the Bureau, you can't be near him. You can't be there to comfort him when I fuck up."

"And you *will* fuck up, Krycek. It's inevitable. And yeah, he *will* need someone to comfort him."

"Why don't you just say what you mean, Walt?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Comfort him, fuck him...same thing, isn't it?"

"I'm not even going to respond to that."

"You don't have to," Alex said softly. "Give it up, Skinner. It's not going to happen. I'm not leaving him. I love him."

Skinner stared at the younger man, shaking his head. "You don't love him, you self-centered bastard. If you did, you never would have done what you did to him last night."

"What I did to him," Alex repeated. "You really think he's some mindless twit, don't you? Believe me Wally, he was into it in a very big way."

"*I* would never put someone I loved on display for a bunch of drunk, horny men like you did."

"I didn't *put* him on display," Alex sneered. "He knew exactly what he was doing, and he loved it. He *wanted* it. And I'll *never* refuse him anything he wants."

"Come on, Krycek, you mean anything *you* want."

"I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I didn't want it too. And I'm not going to tell you that I didn't initiate it. But I took my cues from Fox. He was in the driver's seat."

"How the hell can you say that? Are you forgetting that I was there?"

A wry grin twitched at the corners of Alex's mouth. "No, I'm not forgetting how you stayed and watched every second of it. Fox actually felt bad afterward, you know. Said he didn't want to hurt you. Isn't he sweet? It's one of the things I love about him. His sense of adventure is another. And then there's his..."

"You call last night an adventure? I call it degradation."

"You're just pissed because it wasn't you under him." Alex cocked his head to one side. "What, nothing to say?"

The older man fixed a hateful stare on him.

"Tell me, Wally. Tell me it's not true. Can't, can you?"

"Not in a club full of people. I have more respect for him than that."

A mocking laugh reached Skinner's ears. "You mean you've got more fear than that. You're afraid of him. You want him, but you wouldn't know what to do with him if you had him. You could never satisfy his appetites, and you know it..."

"You have no idea what I could do for him."

"No, you're right. I can't imagine what you could do for him. I know what you can't, though." Alex studied the other man's expression. "You try to keep a tight leash on him at work. You try to control him...to hold him back, but he keeps getting away from you. You want to make him into who you want him to be. So does Scully. But you can't. You never will. The sooner you get that, the better off you'll be."

"I don't know why I should explain this to you, but there's a certain amount of discipline involved in our job, Krycek. I *have* to reel him in sometimes."

"*Sometimes*. If it's a matter of safety, yeah, but that isn't your only reason. And it's certainly not the only time you interfere. You've got a bigger agenda than that. You've been trying to restrain him for years now. "You figure if you can make him conform at work, then he'd be more easily trained to accept the confines of a personal relationship with you. Doesn't work, does it? Yet, you continue to try. That's why you'd never have him. Even if I was nowhere in the picture and you managed to snag him, you wouldn't keep him. You couldn't. He'd start to suffocate and he'd be gone."

"You're crazy. I indulge him plenty."

"Short lived though it may be. As soon as he wanders beyond the edges of your shadow, you're ready to bust out the collar and leash."

"Sounds more like *your* M.O., Krycek, not mine."

"Well," the younger man grinned, "it's true that the thought of Fox in a studded collar does get me pretty hot." He gave a deliberate little shudder. " Anyway...tell me something. Let's say for just a minute that he was with you. And one night he mentioned to you that he'd really love to suck you off under your desk during work hours. What would you do? Tell the truth."

"What do you *think* I'd do?" the older man snapped. "You know the trouble we'd both be in if..."

"Stop." Alex held a hand in the air. "Stop, stop before I fall asleep. You know what *I'd* do? I'd make it happen. Any way I could."

"I would expect no less from you, Krycek, perverse as you are. All you can see is your own sick need. To hell with what's best for him."

"Wally, your ideas and my ideas of what's best for Fox are miles apart. And it might surprise you to know that my ideas and needs fall pretty much in line with his. We're very much in tune to each other. And as that *is* true, I know when my interference is warranted and when it isn't. He's a grown man, Wally, not a child. If I treated him the way you and Scully do, our relationship would be over in a month."

Skinner snorted. "So, what was all that ranting and raving you were doing when we were at his apartment? Was that all a big act for our benefit?"

"*No*, Walter, that was real. I never said that Fox never did some unreasonable, crazy shit. If his life is in danger, I won't hesitate to step in. I understood his thinking in this particular situation, but I didn't agree with it. Though if our positions were reversed and I had no other choice, I would have done the same thing. Love'll make you do some pretty insane stuff. I never understood that until now."

"Oooh, I'm melting. Who knew you were such a romantic, Krycek."

Alex gave him a blank look. "Fox knows. You know, you won't believe this, just like you haven't believed anything else I've said to you, but I was scared to death when I realized where he was. They could have killed him before I reached him..."

"Yeah, and then who would you have to toy with?"

Alex stared at the older man, shaking his head in disbelief. "You'll never get it. You're too comfortable with your hate and your jealousy to ever get it." He moved slowly in the direction of the door. When he reached it, he turned and faced the other man who had remained seated. "You just see that Fox is settled and happy back at his job." He gave Skinner a hard stare. "I'll take care of the rest."

Skinner could do nothing but sit and stare as the younger man slipped out of his apartment.

********************

The flickering of the television filled the otherwise dark room with a bluish-white light, dancing over the prone body of the man who lay patiently waiting for his lover's return.

Alex hadn't said where he was going, and unsure of whether he should push the issue, Fox had remained silent. Besides, Alex'd probably tell him about it when he got back.

He glanced absently down at his watch, then turned his attention to the news.

Close to two hours after he had left, Alex returned, carrying an armful of roses. He walked in and sat at the edge of the sofa, wearing a lopsided grin. He set the roses down on the coffee table and turned to face Fox.

"Hi honey, I'm home."

Fox shook his head, chuckling softly. "You're a sick puppy." His grin faded as the pale light revealed a dark patch along the left side of the younger man's jaw. "Alex...what happened to you?"

Alex brought his hand up to his face. "Oh. Uh...I...whacked myself in the face with my car door?"

"Alex, come on. Where were you?"

Might as well tell him the truth. When he got to work tomorrow and took a look at Skinner, he was going to know for sure.

"Skinner and I had a nice little chat."

Fox bounded off the sofa to turn the light on and returned. He touched his lover's face gently, but anger brewed in his eyes. "Skinner did this?"

"Don't get too bent out of shape, Fox, he's wearing a matching bruise."

A half dozen questions raced through Fox's mind. He hastily picked one, and the inquest began.

"Where'd you see him?"

"His place."

"That's where you had to go?"

"Yeah. When he called this morning, he asked to talk. Well, I don't know if *asked* is the right word for it."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have let me go?"

"*No*."

"That's why I didn't tell you. Wally and I needed to get things squared away."

Fox blew out a heavy sigh. "By beating on each other."

"We didn't *beat* on each other. We each threw only one punch."

"Who started it?"

"Well...I guess that depends on what you mean by *started it*. If you want to know who threw the first punch, he did. But I guess I provoked him."

"You *guess*."

Alex shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, if he had you and I wanted you, and he was taunting me about it, I supposed I'd slug him too."

"God, Alex..." Fox gave him a chastising look, then further investigated his jaw. "Looks a little swollen. I don't know what good ice is going to do now, but it can't hurt. Stay put." He vacated his seat and walked into the kitchen, returning minutes later with a plastic bag full of ice, wrapped in a towel. He held the ice pack to Alex's face, and the younger man looked up at him through a sweep of dark lashes.

"You mad?"

"I'm not happy. And don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like *that*."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't concentrate, that's why not."

"Oh." Alex leaned forward and rested his head on Fox's shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"Not looking at you."

"God, you're impossible."

"More trouble than I'm worth?"

Fox set the ice pack down and tilted Alex's head up. He studied the younger man for a moment then smiled, shaking his head. He moved in, taking Alex's mouth in a lingering, tender kiss, then wrapped him in his arms.

"You're a shitload of trouble, Krycek, but well worth every bit of it. But uh...babe?"

Alex nuzzled his lover's shoulder. "Hmm?"

Fox gently pushed the younger man away and again lifted the ice to his cheek. "Could you please, pleeease not provoke Skinner anymore? I'm not saying he was right to punch you. In fact, I'm pretty pissed about it, but baby, I don't want to go through the rest of our lives...or at least the rest of my career refereeing the two of you."

"Yeah, I can try, but we're never going to be friends, Fox. Not even close."

"I know that. And I know that this is an uncomfortable situation at best. But I've got to work with Skinner...*and* Scully, and at some point we're all going to wind up in each other's company. It'd really makes things a little easier for everybody if the threat of bloodshed wasn't looming over us."

Alex shrugged. "I'll do my part, I promise."

"Thank you." Fox bestowed a quick kiss on the younger man's lips, then drew back, fixing a narrow stare on him. "Now. What the hell did you two talk about?"

"It was the same old 'you're using him, no I'm not' shit. We'll be old and gray, celebrating thirty years together, and he still won't believe that I'm in this because I love you."

Fox smirked, pulled the ice pack away from Alex's face to investigate the swelling, then replaced it. "I don't think it'll take *that* long."

Alex brought his hand up, covering the one that held the ice to his jaw. His thumb rasped across his lover's knuckles. "He said that if I loved you, I wouldn't have degraded you."

"When'd you do that?"

"At the club. He thinks you did what you did only because I wanted you to."

Fox smiled and gave a small shake of his head.

"Fox?"

"What?"

"You didn't, did you?"

"Didn't what?"

"Just go along with it because it's what I wanted."

"Alex..." Fox set the ice pack down on the coffee table and moved closer to the other man, stopping when their legs were touching. "I love you with my whole heart and soul, but if I really don't want to do something, I promise you, you will *not* be able to talk me into it. And as I know that you can be just as stubborn as I can, I think I can pretty much guarantee you big fights in our future." His statement was received with a smile. "Feel better?"

Alex pushed him back against the cushions and nestled into the warmth of his chest. "Yeah."

"Of course, Skinner has no idea that what he said got you wondering, does he?"

"Hell no. Never show the enemy weakness."

"The *enemy*?"

"He ain't no ally. So...you like your flowers?" Alex pulled a single bloom from the bouquet that lay on the table.

"Yes, darling," Fox responded in a light, feminine tone. "You're so thoughtful."

"Uh huh."

The rose skipped along Fox's jaw, tickling and teasing.

"I..." he laughed softly, rubbing his hand along the path that the flower had taken. "I'd better put those in water, don't you think?"

"Actually," Alex purred, leaning in until their lips were just barely touching, "I've got a better use for them."

"I should've known."

Alex gathered up the roses and took Fox's hand, pulling him up and into the bedroom. Tossing the flowers down onto the bed, he began to unbutton Fox's shirt. "You ever fantasize about making love on a bed of roses, baby?" he asked, brushing his lips over the newly exposed skin.

Fox stifled a moan. "No, Alex, I really can't say that I have. I think I'd be afraid of the stems jabbing me in bad places."

Alex pulled away and gave him an exasperated look. "Not the stems, wiseass. Just the petals."

"Oh." Fox grinned and shrugged. "No. What's it like?"

"Don't know." Alex undid the last two buttons and ran his hands slowly over his lover's chest. "Never did it before. Never *wanted* to do it before." His hands moved around to Fox's back, and he pulled the older man against him. "But I can see you..." His hands wandered up and down the smooth skin. "...so beautiful, showered in rose petals..."

"Where did *this* come from?"

Alex laughed softly. "It's freezing out. On the way back here I started thinking about spring and seeing the cherry trees in bloom. You ever take a walk through them on a windy day? It's like a pink snowstorm. So anyway, I got to thinking of us lying under them, and all these petals raining down on us as we made love."

Fox grinned. "So, of course you turned into the first florist you saw and picked up an armload of pink roses..."

Alex pulled his lover's shirt off. "Too long to wait for cherry blossoms." He tossed the shirt onto the chair near the foot of the bed then turned his attention back to Fox. His palms glided over the older man's chest, circling the puckering nipples, then moving up and over his shoulders. "Your skin is so warm."

"Yeah," Fox murmured, focusing his gaze on Alex's mouth, "well, you kinda got my blood pumping."

"Let's see what else I can get pumping." Alex's lips parted, sliding across his lover's mouth before closing over it.

Fox's fingers clenched in Alex's shirt, pulling it free of his jeans as they kissed, then he went to work on the buttons. Once his lover's shirt joined his on the chair, he reached down to undo the faded jeans. As he pulled away from Alex's mouth intent on pulling his pants down, the younger man pulled him back, initiating a second, desperate kiss. When Alex finally released him, he smiled at the younger man, confused and out of breath.

"What was that about?"

"Sorry," Alex panted. "I had to have more."

"And you couldn't wait two mintues."

"No, I couldn't."

Quickly, they finished undressing each other, then Alex lifted a rose from the pile, tearing the head away from the calyx and sprinkling the petals over the mattress. This he did again and again until the whole bed was littered with rose petals. He looked from Fox to the bed, motioning silently for the other man to lie down.

Fox sat on the bed, smiling at the way the soft petals felt against his skin, then he swung himself around so that he was lying on his back. Alex stood over him, admiring the view.

"Very nice. How does it feel?"

"Odd," Fox answered honestly. But nice. Soft."

Alex inhaled and pulled another rose apart, and then another. He released a few petals at a time, watching them flutter and settle gently over and around his lover's body. Fox squirmed with pleasure, as he was gradually covered in a blanket of pink, then giggled softly as a petal fell across his lips. He blew it off then looked up at Alex, eyes shining.

"You gonna bury me or what?"

Alex nodded. "Till just your cock and your nose are sticking up."

Fox lifted his head, and a handfull of petals fell from his hair. "Is that a crack regarding the size of my nose?"

"Nooo." Alex picked up the last rose and settled himself on top of the older man. "I love your nose. It's perfect just like the rest of you." He dragged the rose down the bridge of Fox's nose. "Beautiful." The rose moved over Fox's lips, down his chin and throat, and ended where their bodies touched. "This feels good," he sighed, wriggling against the body beneath him and enjoying the silken sensastion of the rose petals sliding between them.

"Yeah, it does," Fox answered, stroking his back.

"When spring comes, I want to go out one night and make love to you under the cherry trees."

Fox laughed but said nothing.

"I'm serious, you know."

"Alex, we can't."

"Forget can't. There's no such word as can't. Unless I'm telling you I can't hold it anymore..."

Hazel eyes rolled in mock exasperation.

"Would you like to do it?"

Fox's eyes closed and his mouth curved into a soft smile. "It sounds nice."

Alex lifted his weight from Fox's and settled himself on the mattress, pressing into his lover's side. The rose danced over the older's man's chest, skimming each nipple and teasing them into tight brown peaks. "Oh, yeah, baby. I'd love to lay you down in a patch of new grass and listen to all those pretty sounds you make, echoing in the spring breeze..."

Fox arched and gasped softly as Alex's words and the feather-light touch of the rose against his skin sent tingles through the far reaches of his body.

Alex smiled as he watched his lover writhe in pleasure. He drew the rose slowly down Fox's chest and abdomen, letting it barely brush the scattering of light hair that led down to the heavier thatch of dark curls. He watched the rigid cock twitch in response, but he did not let the rose touch it. Instead, he drew the pink blossom down one thigh, scattering individual petals as it moved. When he reached Fox's shin, he worked his way back up, taking care to avoid his lover's cock, and let the rose slide down the other leg.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Please touch me."

"I *am* touching you."

//Oh, no. Oh, please, please, please. Not now...//

"Yes, you are, and it feels so good. B-but I really need for you to touch my cock."

"Why?" Alex brushed the rose against the sole of Fox's foot and watched it jump.

"Cause I *need* you to."

"Fox?" Alex grinned. "Are your teeth clenched?"

No answer.

"You do that when you're annoyed about something. Are you annoyed with me, Fox?"

"No, I am *not* annoyed. But I will be in about thirty seconds if you don't do what I'm asking."

A soft, satisfied chuckle accompanied the brush of the rose over the length of Fox's flushed erection. Alex watched pleased as the older man's muscles bunched and his cock leapt, seeking more contact than that of a mere whisper of a touch. He flicked the rose back and forth across the tip of his lover's cock until the edges of the petals glistened with the moisture they'd gathered.

Fox's hips bucked and a series of short, harsh sounds rolled from his throat.

"Hey, I've got a question," Alex asked curiously, lightly flogging the older man's cock and balls with the head of the rose."Do you think that I could make you come like this?"

"If I said no, would you just take my word for it and put me out of my misery?"

Alex smiled sweetly down at him. "Nah. What fun would that be?"

"Tons of fun, I promise you."

Alex shook his head vigorously, grinning from ear to ear. "No, I think I'll have to run a little experiment here..."

"No," Fox pleaded. "No, you..." His words faded into a moan as Alex's hand moved continuously, letting the rose glide up and down his cock.

"You like that, Fox?"

The other man sighed audibly and nodded.

"Like it enough to come?"

"I can't...I...it's just a tease..."

Alex lowered his head, brushing his mouth over his lover's. "Aww. Okay, I'll tell you what? I'll give you a little more help." He moved away, pulling open the nightstand drawer and removing the tube of Astroglide.

Fox's breath came out in a rush of relief and his body began to shake slightly. "God, thank you...thank you."

Alex smirked down at him and, laying the rose down by the other man's hip, he stroked some of the cool gel onto his own throbbing erection. He moaned softly at the sensation, then removed his hand. "Sit up, babe."

Fox obeyed and waited for his next instruction. He watched as Alex lay back against the pillows and drew the rose down his thigh. The younger man smiled up at him and stroked his own cock. "Let's go."

Quickly, Fox straddled his lover's hips, impaling himself on his cock. Just as he was about to push downward, Alex's hands at his waist, stopped him.

"Whoa, baby. Easy."

Fox shook his head in defiance. "I need you." His eyes closed, and a hard breath escaped his lips as Alex pushed up gently and stroked the rose along the side of his cock.

"I know." Alex crooned. "But can we do this nice and easy? For a little while at least?"

Fox stared down at the younger man, impatience glittering in his eyes. "All right," he gave in. "Just for a little while."

He relaxed the best he could and let Alex guide him slowly with one hand while he teased his cock with the other. His head rolled back as he moved, feeling the hard warmth fill him, and the light pressure of the rose stroking over his cock. The sensations made him shiver, and his cock throbbed, begging for relief. He endured the agonizingly slow pace for a few minutes more, then opened his eyes to find his lover staring up at him.

Alex gave Fox a trembling smile. "You're beautiful to watch."

Fox bit down on his lower lip and said nothing as he fought to maintain his composure.

"Now, I want to watch you come." His hips rocked faster, and the rose again slapped lightly against his cock.

A soft whimper formed in Fox's throat as he moved against his lover with more force. "Alex," he panted, unable to stand it a moment longer. "Please..."

"It's up to you, baby," Alex encouraged, stroking and occasionally flogging the older man's cock with the wilting bloom. "Any time you're ready." He tilted his pelvis and drew his knees up, supporting the older man as he began to thrash.

Fox screamed as Alex's cock now hit his prostate on nearly every stroke.

"You got it, baby," Alex gasped, never letting up on the subtle stimulation of his lover's tormented cock. "Come on...take me with you..."

Sweat trickled down Fox's face and neck as he slammed back against Alex's hips again and again. Loud, guttural sounds filled the air as he came, shooting a stream of thick fluid up and over Alex's hand and belly.

Alex immediately followed him, sobbing Fox's name as violent spasms shook his body. He emptied himself into his lover then sagged against the pillows, soon finding himself with an armful of exhausted, sweat-slick Fox.

They lay quietly, each man attempting to catch his breath, then Fox opened his eyes and looked down at Alex.

"We look like we should be a float in Pasadena."

Alex broke into laughter, plucking a rose petal from Fox's chest. "Okay, so I didn't think about how they were gonna stick to us."

"No kidding."

"They'll come right off of us, and all we gotta do is fold the sheet up and shake it out the window. It was fun, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Fox picked up the single remaining rose and grinned down at Alex. "I should press this one in a book with a little note. 'February twenty-sixth. Nineteen ninety-nine. Here lies the only rose in the world to ever get a man off.'"

"How do you know it's the only one?"

"Aww, Alex, there can't possibly be somebody out there kinkier than you."

Alex stretched up for a light kiss. "That's sweet. Come on, let's get these petals off before they dry and we have to use window scrapers or something."

Over an hour and a half later, everything was cleaned up, and the two were between fresh sheets, sleeping a deep, dreamless sleep.

********************

"Nice to see you at your desk."

Fox smiled up at his partner. "Thanks."

"I'm glad Skinner realized how important it is to have you here....muffin?"

Fox glanced at the offered bag in Scully's left hand. "No thanks. Alex made me a big breakfast this morning."

Blue eyes cut down to the floor. "Oh. Well..."

"If you've got two cups of coffee in there, though, I'll take one. I need all the caffeine I can get."

"Rough night?"

Fox smiled softly. "No."

When it was clear that he would say no more, Scully turned away and set the bag down on her desk. She hung her coat up and removed two cups from the paper sack, handing one to her partner.

"Thanks." He took a sip and cleared his throat. "So...I see a bunch of stuff piled up here on my desk. Guess I'd better start slogging through it."

Before Scully could answer, a soft knock sounded at the partially open door.

"Good morning, sir," Scully addressed the A.D. as he came to stand just inside the doorway.

"Morning." Skinner glanced from Scully to Fox. Their eyes held for a moment, and he looked away. "Good to have you back, Agent Mulder."

"Thank you," Fox said softly, but his voice as well as his stare was hard as nails.

"Sir? What happened to you?" Scully asked, now noticing the bruise on the left side of the A.D.'s face.

Skinner gave a nonchalant shake of his head. "Nothing. Just a stupid little accident."

"*Little* accident? Looks like you were hit with a brick."

Skinner's eyes flicked quickly from Fox to his partner. Scully did not miss the look.

"N-no, I'm fine. It's not that big a deal. Uh...anyway, I just wanted to come down and welcome Agent Mulder back and let you both know that there's a department meeting at eleven in conference room three."

The two agents nodded and Skinner took a step backward. "I'll see you both there."

Without another word, he left the office as soon as he'd closed the door behind him, Scully turned on her partner.

"What the hell was that?"

"What was what?"

"You know what happened to him, don't you?"

No reply.

"Mulder...tell me you didn't slug him."

"Of *course* not."

"Well then, *what*..." Her mouth dropped open and she stared blankly at him. "No...oh, no." Her voice lowered to a harsh whisper. "*Krycek* did that?"

Still nothing.

"*Mulder*..."

"You don't know what happened, Scully."

"I don't *care* what happened. Your boyfriend hit your boss!"

"Because my boss hit him first!"

Scully stared in silence.

"That's right, Scully. Skinner insisted that they talk, Alex met him *without* my knowledge at his apartment, and Skinner let him have it."

"Krycek must have done something to provoke him."

"You're just going to find any way you can to pin this on Alex, aren't you?"

"I'm sorry, Mulder, but I just really have a hard time imagining that Skinner hit him without the slightest bit of provocation."

"I'm not saying that they didn't have words beforehand, but it was Skinner who threw the first punch. Now, you didn't really expect Alex to stand there and take it, did you?"

"N-no, but...God, Mulder, couldn't he have just left?"

"*Alex*?"

She sighed heavily. "Okay, I suppose that was a stupid question. So, if you weren't there, who broke up the fight?"

"There *was* no fight. They each only threw one punch, then they talked."

"Talked," Scully repeated. "Why can't I see that?"

"I didn't say that it was a friendly chat, Scully. I said they talked."

"So, is anything settled?"

"Probably about as settled as things are with *you* two."

"So. Not really."

"Not really. You three have *got* to come to some sort of understanding though, Scully."

Mulder, I've told you that I'll try and deal with this thing for your sake. I don't know what more you could want from me. I'll never trust Krycek."

"Why, Scully? Who had more reason to distrust him than me? And now I trust him with my life."

"And I still think you need a psychiatrist."

"Why, because I'm in love?"

"Mulder, you know perfectly well that I would never..." she paused and took a breath. "..would never begrudge you any happiness. But this has nothing to do with you being in love, and everything to do with who it is you're in love *with*."

"God. I'm so tired of going through this with you. Just...promise me you'll be civil. That's all I ask of either of you."

"Don't worry about me. I promise I'll never take a swing at your boyfriend's pretty face."

"You say it with such disdain."

"What?"

"Boyfriend." He studied her for a long moment then said softly, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?"

"I'm...I...I'm sorry if I...if this has hurt you in any way."

Scully's eyes slipped away from his. "I'm fine, Mulder. As...as long as he doesn't hurt *you*."

"He won't. Not intentionally."

"That's not good enough."

"I appreciate your sentiments, Scully, but they're not exactly reasonable. Two people can be deeply in love and still hurt each other. It happens. They don't mean to, but it *does* happen sometimes. I've hurt *him*..."

"It's inconceivable to think that Alex Krycek could ever be emotionally hurt."

"Why not, Scully? If you love, you're subject to hurt. And he loves me."

Scully shrugged. "I guess that's where it begins, Mulder. I'm still having a hard time with that."

"Contrary to what you think, Scully, he *is* a human being, and he's got feelings...and they run very deep."

Scully's lack of a response came as no big surprise to him. He knew she still didn't believe it, and he also knew that she wearied rather quickly of these 'Alex' duscussions, especially when she made absolutely no headway.

"Well, I'd better get moving on these files."

Scully looked to the stack of folders on her partner's desk and nodded. "Okay," she answered solemnly. "I've got some work of my own to do." She drifted over to her desk and sat down, eyeing the man who had immersed himself in the files before him.

//God help you if you're wrong about him, Mulder. In fact, he may have to help us all.//

********************

"Come in."

The door to Skinner's office swung silently open and Fox Mulder stalked in, composed, resolute, and sexy as all get out. Gold-flecked eyes focused on his target as long, purposeful strides carried him to the front of the AD's desk. Skinner took a deep, steadying breath and motioned to the other man's usual seat. Fox ignored the offer and stared down at him.

"I was not a very happy camper last night. In fact, I'm still not."

Skinner looked down at the pen he twirled between his fingers. "I didn't think you would be."

"Then, why?" There was the slightest edge of irritation in his tone. "Why did you ask him to your place? Why'd you hit him?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, it didn't exactly go unanswered."

Fox's gaze flicked to the bruising on the other man's face then returned to his eyes. "You had to have expected that you'd get as good as you gave."

"I didn't expect anything. I didn't think. I was too angry. By the time I was able to give it a second thought, I was sprawled across a chair, seeing stars."

"What were you so angry about?"

Skinner drew himself up straighter in his chair. "Your...lover...is an infuritaing, arrogant man. He enjoys pushing people's buttons. He can't go around instigating trouble with impunity..."

Fox didn't ask what it was that Alex had said to piss Skinner off; he was pretty sure he could accurately guess.

"...He would have received a lot worse," Skinner continued honestly, "if I hadn't found myself with a gun pointed in my face."

"Gun?"

"Oh, you don't know about that? After he hit me and I fell back into the chair, I started to get up, but he pulled a gun on me."

"And *that's* what stopped you from killing each other?"

"Yeah. He said you wouldn't appreciate it if he went home with his face all messed up." Skinner stopped talking and watched as the other man turned and prowled the width of the room. He chewed on a tiny corner of his mouth as his eyes followed each sweep of those long, Armani-encased legs and imagined them naked and wrapped tightly around his hips, muscles flexing as they pulled him in, wanting him deeper and deeper...

"....should have pulled his gun on you..." Skinner blinked, pulling himself out of his impossible fantasy and turned his attention up to the man who had stopped pacing and was now speaking to him. "...he shouldn't have. But you shouldn't have asked him to your apartment. What did you hope to accomplish knowing full well that you would never believe anything he said to you?"

"I don't...I don't know. I guess I just hoped I'd be able to read him...to make some sort of definite determination. I hoped I'd be able to learn what his intentions really are."

Fox folded his arms across his chest. "And?"

The other man shook his head. "All I can see is trouble."

"Because it's all you want to see. It's all you and Scully will ever want to see."

Skinner averted his eyes.

"Do me favor," Fox said softly, drawing the older man's attention back. "Just leave it alone. I'm living my life the way I want to, and I'm happier than I've ever been. I'll be fine...as long as I have him, I'll be just fine. I'd like for you to be able to accept that, but if you really can't, I'll understand and just ask that we not discuss my personal life at all." He watched the older man for some sign of a response. When there was none, he spoke again. "I'm very sorry if I'd given you any...if you'd thought for even a second, we could've..."

Skinner held up a hand. "You didn't. It's my fault. All mine. I'll keep a personal distance. But..."

Fox waited.

"Still, please know that if you should ever need me or..."

"Thank you."

Skinner stared for a few seconds longer than he needed to then looked down at his desk. "Go on home, Agent Mulder. I'm sure it's where you'd like to be right now."

Fox nodded and backed up a few steps before turning and vacating the room.

The slow, painful thud of his heart ticked off the seconds as Skinner stared down at the folder in his clenched hands. The impulse to fling it across the room was almost too much to resist, but ultimately, good-sense and discipline took over. He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly, still looking down at the folder. He opened it up and regarded the jumble of words before him.

//Fuck it.//

He pushed himself away from his desk, snatched his jacket off of the hook and headed for home.

********************

Home.

Fox opened the door and walked in, sniffing appreciatively at the smells coming from the kitchen. He smiled uncontrollably as the reality of just how much his life had changed hit him.

He took his coat off and walked into the kitchen, practically hitting Alex with the door as the other man was exiting.

"Sorry," Fox laughed softly and wrapped his arms around the younger man. "Hi honey, I'm home."

"No kidding." Alex returned the embrace then laid a tender kiss on his lover's lips. "You hungry?"

"Yeah. Smells great."

"It'll be ready in about fifteen minutes, so why don't you go change?"

"Okay." He stole another quick kiss and turned to the door. Just as he reached it, he stopped and smirked at the other man. "Why do I feel the urge to put on a cardigan sweater and call you June?"

"If you want to look like a geek, go right ahead," Alex shrugged. "But I'll tell you what. Don't expect to see me in a blonde wig and pearls any time soon."

Fox laughed all the way to the bedroom.

He pushed the door open, and the laughter turned into a choking cough.

"Ohhhhh my...God...."

********************

Alex carried two heaping plates out into the dining room and set them down. As he was turning back into the kitchen, Fox's voice rumbled from the direction of the bedroom.

"Al-ex!"

He threw his head back and laughed softly.

Fox came back into the room with a look on his face that sent Alex in a fit of giggles.

"What did you do?"

"What's it look like I did?"

"I *know* what it looks like, I want to know why!"

"That isn't what you asked. You asked *what* did I do."

"Alex, quit talking in circles. You *know* what I mean!"

Alex gave him an irresistible pout. "You don't like it?"

"I..." Fox sputtered, not knowing exactly what to say. "What possessed you to..."

"Remember when you said you'd like to watch me while I was fucking you?"

Fox blinked then stared. "Yeah, but...Alex, you don't have to take things so literally..."

Alex's shoulders slumped. "You *don't* like it."

"I...I didn't say that..."

"You didn't say you *did*."

"I'm just a little shocked, you know? I mean...I...oh, God..."

"I'll take it down if you want."

"No! N-no, I didn't say I wanted you to do that."

Alex stared down at the floor, giving Fox his best sulk. "I just wanted to surprise you. I thought you'd like it. Guess I should have asked first."

Alex could play him like a fiddle.

Thing was, he knew it...and he loved it.

Fox slipped his arms around the younger man's waist and pulled him close.

"I *am* surprised, baby. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn't like it."

Alex brightened. "So you *do* like it?"

"Yeah." Fox kissed the tip of his nose. "Uh...but, umm...it's not gonna fall on us or anything, is it?"

"Of course not. There's a special adhesive just for that."

Fox nodded. "Okay." He glanced over to the table. "Why don't we eat before dinner gets cold?" He let his hand slide up and down Alex's back. "Then we can go and uh...have a better look at your handiwork."

Alex growled softly, nipping at Fox's lower lip. "You got it." He took the older man by the hand and led him to the table.

While they ate, they made conversation about Fox's day and his confrontations with Scully and Skinner. When the meal had ended, he helped Alex clean up and they adjorned to the bedroom.

Fox craned his neck, looking up at the eight by eight squares that took up an area of roughly four feet by six feet.

"You work fast."

Alex approached him from behind and nibbled at the back of his neck. "Only when I need to."

The older man's head fell forward and he moaned almost inaudibly as Alex continued to tease the sensitive patch of skin. Almost any place Alex touched him seemed to result in arousal, but this was definitely one of Fox's more erogenous zones. He shuddered as the younger man nipped and pulled at the fine hairs that ran along the length of his neck.

"Mmmm."

Alex licked a trail from the base of Fox's neck up into his hair. "Yes?"

"You know what that does to me."

"Oh, yeah, I know." Alex wrapped his arms around the older man and ran his hands up and down his chest. "I can feel it."

Fox shivered again as his lover's voice rumbled against his skin. He closed a hand over Alex's, and, raising it up to his lips, planted a soft kiss in the palm. He then pushed it downward, letting both hands slide along the length his body, and stopping when he felt the warmth cover his restrained cock. "Can you feel that?"

Alex bit gently into Fox's neck, growling as he did. At the same time, he squeezed the solid bulge under his hand. "For me?"

"All for you, sweetheart."

Alex undid his lover's pants and slid his hand inside, burrowing past the silk underwear. Both men groaned simultaneously when his fingers came in direct contact with the rock-solid length of muscle. He tenderly caressed the shaft while beginning to unbutton Fox's shirt with his free hand.

Fox's head rolled and fell back against Alex's shoulder as the younger man pushed the edges of his shirt aside and brushed his fingers over his hardened, cotton-covered nipples. He grunted softly, feeling the shirt being jerked down his arms and back, and then he was pushed away and spun around so that they were now face to face. Alex finished removing his shirt, dropping it into a pool of blue at their feet, then pulled the white undershirt up over his head and let it fall to the floor as well. The remaining articles of clothing immediately followed, and when Fox was completely stripped, Alex guided him down to the mattress. One lingering kiss, and the younger man backed away.

Fox stretched then relaxed against the pillows as he watched his lover slowly strip off his own clothing, mesmerized by the smooth flow of muscle beneath the satiny skin. When Alex had bent to pull his pants off, Fox's eyes flicked up to the mirror, and the thrill of seeing himself naked and aroused, sprawled over the bed awaiting his lover, sizzled through his body, deeply flushing his skin and sending tiny pinpricks of pleasurable pain to its surface.

When Alex had finished removing his clothing, he slid up beside Fox, letting a hand drift over his chest and abdomen. Propping his head in his other hand, he let his eyes wander upward. He watched silently for a while as he stroked and petted his aroused lover, then he smiled down into Fox's face.

"It's almost like being outside of yourself, isn't it?"

Fox nodded mutely.

"I like being able to see all of you at once." Alex's eyes again rose to the mirrors, and his fingers brushed over one nipple, then gently pinched the brown peak. He smiled as Fox responded. "I like seeing the way your whole body reacts when I touch you..."

Their eyes met and held in the mirror, and a slow smile tilted the corners of Alex's mouth. His hand slipped downward, lightly caressing the older man's cock. "Look, Fox," he whispered, his fingers closing around the shaft. When Fox's gaze followed his direction, he spoke again. "You're so beautiful..." His thumb passed over the tip of his lover's cock, glazing the head with a thin layer of the viscous fluid that had gathered there. He looked up to find Fox panting softly as he watched through a fall of golden-brown lashes. "Tell me what you want, baby."

Exquisitely full lips parted, and Alex almost had to strain to hear the soft rasp of his lover's voice.

"I want to watch you suck me."

A purely demonic grin lit Alex's face, and he lowered himself, slowly kissing and licking in a straight line down to his lover's cock.

Fox's mouth fell open and a hard gasp tumbled out as he watched Alex's head move over his crotch.

"God..."

His hands clenched in the pillow under his head as he fought to keep himself from thrusting up into the moist heat of Alex's mouth. He watched the younger man's hands gently stroke his thighs and hips as the sable head moved in a lazy, aimless fashion, sucking and pulling his cock in a variety of directions, and issued a long moan.

Alex smiled as his lover voiced his desire. He turned onto his side, pulling Fox with him, and he drew back, momentarily letting go of the other man's cock.

"Now you can watch yourself fuck my mouth," he murmured up at the one who was now petting his hair. He curved his fingers into Fox's ass and pulled him forward. "Come on, baby. Give it to me." Still looking up into Fox's golden-green gaze, he opened his mouth and his tongue lashed at the tip of the blunt head.

Fox's lips curled into a sensual snarl, and his fingers tangled in Alex's hair as he thrust forward. His eyes turned up into the mirror, and he watched his cock disappear inch by inch into the hungry mouth. The ability to think or speak left him, and instinct took over as he held Alex's head motionless and began to thrust in and out of his mouth.

Alex clung to Fox's ass, his whimpers of pleasure muffled, as again and again his lover drove inside, sliding over his tongue and hitting the back of his throat. His eyes drifted shut and he gave himself up to the passion of Fox's possession, relaxing his throat and allowing the other man to thrust as deeply as he could.

Fox gritted his teeth, fighting to keep from answering his body's plea for release. He slowed his thrusts, hoping it would be enough to stave off the storm that he knew would soon roll in, but it wasn't.

"Alex...Jeez....babe...baby..." His fingers tightened in the younger man's hair and pulled him away. Glazed, green eyes stared dazedly up at him, and he stroked the stubbled cheek with a trembling hand. "Fuck me," he whispered, half-demanding, half-pleading.

Alex blinked, partially clearing the fog from his head, and slid up, rolling Fox onto his back. He lay over the older man, kissing him deeply, letting him taste himself. As their tongues danced together, he reached out to the nightstand, groping for the drawer. Unable to reach it, he finally had to pull away from his lover's mouth. Fox's frustrated groan brought him back instantly.

"I need to get the lube, baby," he explained against Fox's lips before planting another soft kiss on them. "Just wait two seconds..."

Fox writhed impatiently as Alex lifted himself away and quickly plucked the lube from the drawer. He was back in an instant, and Fox pulled him down, his mouth searching for the warmth it needed.

Alex gave in to him again, nipping and sucking at his lips, feeding his ravenous desire before again withdrawing.

"No," Fox gasped, lifting his head from the pillow and trying to pull Alex back down to him.

"Easy," he crooned softly, as he squeezed some lube into his hand and began to gently apply it to his throbbing erection. His upper lip twitched as he endured his own touch, then he squeezed a bit more out onto two fingers and pulled Fox's legs up and back. He gave his lover a soft smile and motioned upward with his eyes, indicating that Fox should watch the mirror.

Gilded eyes rose to their reflection, and Fox watched as Alex's fingers stroked down the underside of his cock, over his balls and between the muscular cheeks of his ass. His hands curled into the sheets as slowly, Alex inched both fingers into him at once. He struggled to keep his eyes open, feeling the tingle of pleasure as Alex pushed into him up to the second knuckles then twisted his fingers back and forth, working them in as far a they would go.

"Watch, Fox," Alex whispered. "Watch your expression..."

He stroked over Fox's prostate and the older man arched, crying out his name.

"You see? I love that look..." He stimulated the same spot and smiled as he received a slightly more frantic reaction. "It's mine, isn't it?" His eyes flicked up and met Fox's in the mirrors. "Just mine?"

Fox nodded, panting. "Just...just yours."

A deep growl rumbled in Alex's chest, and he gently pulled his fingers out, promptly replacing them with the tip of his cock. He pushed forward steadily, not stopping until the head was fully embedded in Fox's heat.

"Don't...don't stop, Alex. I want it," Fox whined, "please.."

"Shhh. Wait, baby," Alex pleaded breathlessly. "Let me...just...wait..."

Fox's head rolled impatiently from side to side but he kept the rest of his body as still as he could, understanding how close Alex was to the edge. He focused on the mirrors above him, scanning the body that lay over his.

Beautfully symmetrical, smooth, and graceful, and powerfully built, even at rest he wore an aura of strength and agility unmatched by anyone Fox knew.

He raised a hand to Alex's hair, combing his fingers through the glossy, sable strands, then let his hand slide downward over the broad back, memorizing its hardness and texture. He watched intently, loving the way the sinews tightened and relaxed under his touch. He smiled as Alex twitched when his fingers wandered over the downy hairs at the small of his back, then, finally, he moved lower, watching the magnificent, taut ass clench in anticipation. Using both hands now, Fox covered the rounded muscles, kneading gently, and listening to his lover's low moans of pleasure. He trembled at the thought of seeing this perfect body in motion as Alex fucked him into next week...

Feeling Fox's body quaking beneath him, Alex pulled himself together and lifted his head. He gazed down into lust-filled eyes, stroking his lover's jaw, then he lowered his head, engaging Fox in a slow, breath-stealing kiss as he began to move.

Fox broke the kiss, gasping into the air as the younger man buried his cock inside him. His fingers tightened in Alex's ass, pulling him in as he arched up, wanting to feel him deeper than he ever had.

"Baby...please...fuck me. F...fuck me." Fox wrapped his legs tightly around Alex's waist and began to buck beneath him. "Do it. *Do* it..."

Grimacing, Alex rose up on his forearms, hands tucked under Fox's shoulders, his fingers biting into his lover's flesh. He began to rock, steadily but slowly driving into the other man's slick heat. His mouth fell open and a long hiss escaped his throat as the sensations began to overwhelm him, and he increased the speed of his thrusts.

Fox watched, mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the two of them tangled together...every muscle in Alex's body working in concert as he took them closer and closer to the eye of the storm. "I love you," he whispered to the reflection, watching his own hands work feverishly over the straining muscles. "God, I love you..."

Alex shuddered, hearing the passionately uttered words. He could hear them every day, ten times a day, and they would always have the same effect on him.

He slipped a hand between them, wrapping his fingers around his lover's cock and began to stroke it.

"My baby," he choked, "my beautiful...show me." He thrust harder. "Show me how much..."

Fox stiffened then began to jerk uncontrollably as he emitted a sobbing scream and coated Alex's hand and his own belly with a seemingly endless stream of warm fluid. At almost exactly that same moment, his insides were flooded with slick heat as Alex's screams of pleasure joined his own.

Alex collapsed on top of his lover, dropping his head to his shoulder. He moaned softly as he slipped out of Fox when the older man's legs slid down to the bed, but was too weak to do much else.

Fox uttered a groan of complaint as well, and wrapped his arms around Alex's back. He opened his eyes and smiled up at the image that met his eyes...

His beautiful Alex, exhausted and covered in perspiration, sprawled comfortably over his own body...lips turned into a weary, luscious pout...eyelashes dark as soot, dusting the curve of his cheek...

He watched his hand slide up and down over the slick back then weave through Alex's hair. He dropped a tender kiss on the crown of his lover's head then closed his eyes. Long minutes later, Alex began to stir. Fox kissed him again then gently squeezed his shoulder.

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"My present." Fox could feel Alex smiling against his shoulder.

"My pleasure." He lifted his head. "Literally."

Fox grinned, stroking the hair back from his forehead. "You're gorgeous to watch...just like I knew you would be."

Alex returned the grin. "Later, I get to watch *you*."

"Uh...later?"

Alex shrugged and looked at the clock. "It's still early."

Fox turned his head to see what Alex considered *early*.

"It's after nine. God, how did it get to be that time?"

"That *time*? What are you, seventy?"

Fox smirked and gave Alex's ass a playful swat. "The way you work me? I'll be there in a couple of years, max." He stared off into space. "Then you'll move on to your next victim, suck him dry, and find someone else..."

Alex shook his head as his lover rambled. "Never. Like it or not, you're stuck with me." He lowered his head to Fox's, nuzzling his cheek. "I love you. Always...even if you do get all old and wrinkled, and I'm still young and handsome..."

Fox grasped his wrists, flipping him over so that he was now pinned to the mattress. "Is that right?"

Alex laughed uncontrollably, unable to gather the strength to break free. "Yeah. I'll just tell people you're my father..."

"You're going to suffer for that," Fox promised then bit into his lover's shoulder.

"Oww! Shit!"

"That hurt?"

"Yeah!"

"Figured I might as well get a few good ones in," Fox taunted, "you know, while I've still got my own teeth."

Alex laughed and winced at the dull throb that began in his shoulder. "Okay, okay." He looked up into sparkling eyes and the humor faded a bit. He removed a hand from Fox's loosened grip and reached up, tracing the swell of his lover's bottom lip. "Seriously...I do love you..."

Fox grasped the hand and placed a soft kiss in the palm.

"No matter what anyone says to you."

"I know that, Alex."

"Don't ever forget it."

"Never."

Alex smiled up at the other man then looked past him to his reflection. "Mmmmm, nice."

Fox cocked his head curiously. "What?"

"You...from behind. Very pretty." His tongue slithered out, licking his bottom lip. "You know," he purred, slipping a hand down to Fox's ass and caressing it gently, "it really isn't that late..."

END ??

Nah. You know how fond I am of dragging things out.

Anyway...I said at the end of this chapter, I'd defend myself concerning the way I treated poor Walt.

I like the surly one, I really do. The man is tres cool. But for the purposes of this story, I had to be kinda mean to him. Well....Alex did. And as cool as I think Skinner is, and even though he came too close for the comfort of some of my buddies, he will never, ever, in any of my stories be knockin' boots with either of my boys. In Aries' universe, Fox and Alex belong to each other exclusively.

Okay, I've yacked long enough. On to part four...

(part 4 coming soon!)

 

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Not On My Watch IV  
Remember Me by Aries  
Series: Part IV of Not On My Watch  
Rated NC-17 language, violence and m/m sexual situations  
Archive: Allslash, Archive X, TER/MA, All Things Rat, Den of Sin, Slashville. Anywhere else, please ask me first.  
Summary: Bad things happen when Skinner makes an unwise decision based on his hatred of Alex. Kids...uh, hey, kids? I know it looks bad, but put the pitchforks and torches away and just keep reading, okay? I mean, there are four hundred and someodd pages here. Something good has got to happen *sooner* or later, right?  
Disclaimer: Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Skinner and Cancer Man belong to CC. All other characters belong to me. Hey, CC, wanna trade?  
Humongous thanks to Ori for having the patience to beta this thing. You've gone way above and beyond the call of duty on this one, and I couldn't be more grateful. As always, huge thanks and smoochies to Nic and Ori for much enthusiasm...even when said enthusiasm would occasionally manifest itself in the form of threats! I really enjoy them, anyway. Sue was hollering for yet another club scene, so, here ya go, Sue!  
Feedback is always most welcome! I like being stroked and petted and loved and...wait....that's Fox. Well, hell, I like it too. You can reach me at 

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********************  
Remember Me  
by Aries

Prologue  
********************

The early autumn sun washed the open field in its warm glow, spotlighting the lone, dark figure amongst the pillars of white. As motionless as the slabs of stone, the figure stared unblinking at the mahogany casket.

Only a short time ago, the field had been dotted with color, the hallowed silence broken by the sounds of rifle fire, a lone bugler playing taps, and a somber voice offering to a grieving mother the thanks of a grateful nation.

Family and friends offered their condolences and slowly faded away, leaving three people huddled together in their grief, and one who would now forever be alone.

The mother watched through a haze of tears as, oblivious to their presence, the solitary figure slowly approached the mahogany casket, dropping to his knees in front of it, and rocked back and forth. The mother looked to the woman beside her.

"Who is that?"

The younger woman drew a deep breath then spoke. "That's..."

A hand on her arm made her cut off her words, and she looked up to the male in their small group. He gave her a tiny shake of his head, but she would not be dissuaded.

"He never would have lied to her if she'd asked him." She placed her hand on the mother's back, stroking gently.

"...That man was your son's lover. His name is Alex."

********************  
Five days earlier  
********************

Fox stood fidgeting impatiently as the elevator made its slow ascent to the fourth floor.

He sighed heavily and leaned his head against the wall.

One day he was sure the damn thing was going to just stop in mid-climb, and with his luck, he'd be the one stuck inside.

Now if Alex was stuck in there *with* him...

He'd begun to smirk, considering the possibilities, when the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors wheezed open.

He stepped into the hall and strode toward apartment forty-two, almost colliding with Alex as he threw the door open. Fox jumped back and cursed softly.

"You scared the shit out of me."

Alex shifted the bag of garbage from one hand to the other and gave his lover a disappointed pout.

"That's a nice greeting."

"Sorry." Fox stepped forward, slipping an arm around the younger man's waist, and laying a long, tender kiss on his mouth. "Better?" he asked, pulling away just far enough to look into Alex's eyes. The other nodded and initiated a second kiss. When they parted, Fox asked him how long he'd been back.

"About fifteen minutes," Alex answered then hefted the bag, wrinkling his nose. "Not a minute too soon from the smell of this. Is this the same garbage from when I left three days ago?"

"Nooo." Fox stopped, looking into space. "Well, wait..." He looked back to his lover, grinning sheepishly. "Yeah, you know, it might be."

Alex gave him a deadpan expression then walked off toward the trash chute, mumbling.

"Can't leave him alone for more than two days..."

Fox grimaced and rolled his eyes, turning toward the door, and Alex's voice followed him.

"I *saw* that."

The grimace turned to a grin, and Fox entered the apartment, removing his outer coat and suit jacket, and, not daring to toss them over the back of the chair, hung the coat up in the closet and took his jacket into the bedroom.

As he was unknotting his tie, Alex appeared behind him and reached around, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Miss me?"

Fox smiled and closed his eyes, letting his lover undress him. "Of course, I missed you. What happened? You said you'd be gone a week."

"Yeah, I know." Alex finished with the buttons and slipped the shirt off. "Ran into a bit of a roadblock. No biggie, but it's going to be a couple of days before I can finish. So," he purred, pulling Fox's undershirt out of his pants and sliding his hands underneath, "I thought I'd come home...spend the weekend with my baby."

"You're so sweet."

"Yes, I am." Alex lay his head against the older man's back as he continued to stroke his chest. "You hadn't made any plans this weekend, had you?"

Fox smirked. "Well...actually, I had made a date."

Alex lifted his head, and one corner of his mouth slanted upward. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. See, Skinner's got these new flavored lubes, and...*ouch*!"

Alex grinned, gently skimming his fingertips over the nipple he'd just twisted. "That hurt?"

"Yes!"

"Good."

Fox turned and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist. "You know I was just yanking your chain."

"Mmm hmm." Alex leaned in and nuzzled his lover's neck. "I got something else for you to yank."

The sound that came from Fox's throat was something of a cross between a laugh and a groan. "I'll remind you that you said that a little later."

"*Later*?"

"Yeah." The older man pressed a couple of kisses into his lover's hair. "I'm starving. *And*, I got something I want to talk to you about."

Alex growled into Fox's shoulder. "All right. What do you want for dinner?"

"I don't know...hey, it's Friday...wanna go out?"

"Out to dinner?"

"Yeah." Fox began to sway, gently grinding his hips against the other man's. "Maybe a little dancing..."

A wicked grin tilted the corners of Alex's mouth, and he began to move with his lover. "We haven't been out in a long time."

"I know." Fox placed a hand over the younger man's ass, pulling him in closer. "Sound good?"

"Sounds great."

"Well," Fox rumbled against Alex's mouth, "let's go get ready."

"Yeah...hey, wait. What'd you want to talk to me about?"

"I'll tell you at dinner." Fox took his lover's hand and led him to the bathroom. They showered together, taking the time to work each other into a high state of arousal, then got dressed and left. Alex's laughter drifted through the living room and into the hall as Fox opened up the closet door and grabbed a blanket on their way out.

********************

They chose a casual pub near the club and settled down to a light dinner.

"So..." Fox speared a tiny red potato and looked up at Alex. "Have you ever heard the name Henry Lieber?"

The younger man raised his eyebrows. "Yeah. I've heard it. He was a doctor. Neurology..."

"*Was*?"

"Yeah. Well, as far as I know, the guy is dead. He was on the Consortium payroll, but he'd double-crossed them somehow, and they made him go away. I don't know any of this firsthand, it's just what I heard."

"What else did you hear? What was he doing for them?"

"Sick shit. To say that he fucked with people's minds would *not* be merely a figure of speech. He was doing all kinds of experiments. Stuff no reputable doctor would ever attempt...why do you want to know?"

"According to the information I got today, the good doctor is still alive and very busy."

"Doing what?"

"Brain transplants."

Alex cocked his head. "Brain....transplants..."

"Lieber is apparently attempting to transfer the brain of an E.B.E. into a human head."

"*Why*?"

Fox shrugged. "Because he can? Seriously, I have no idea. This is what I've got to find out."

"Fox...assuming that Lieber is still alive and doing what you heard he's doing, that's gotta take a whole truckload of cash. Who the hell would be bankrolling....oh...wait..."

Fox nodded. "I know what you're thinking. Rumors of his death were leaked by the Consortium."

Alex nodded. "Then they could cloister him in some out of the way place where he could continue his work undisturbed. Where does your information say he is?"

"The mountains of Vermont. He's supposedly been there for the last two years. Scully's due back from Quantico on Sunday. I'm going to talk to her then about booking a flight."

Alex chewed on the inside corner of his lip and drummed lightly on the table. "Do me a favor, babe, and let me run a check first. I know somebody in their research stable. Let me see what I can find out about it before you go up there. The more information you have, the better, right?"

Fox smiled, recognizing the concern in the younger man's voice. "Okay, go ahead and check it out." He reached across the table, foraging through Alex's plate with his fork, and pulled out a piece of chicken. The younger man watched, chin resting in his palm as the chicken disappeared into Fox's mouth.

"Good?"

"Yeah." Fox reached for another piece. "Why is it that no matter what it is you order, it always tastes better than what *I* get?"

"It's all in your head."

"Is not."

Alex stared at the other man, shaking his head slowly. "Okay. Want to switch?"

Fox smiled over at him. "Do you mind?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course, it does."

"Okay, I mind."

"No, you don't." Fox switched plates and dug into the chicken.

"Yeah, I *do*. That chicken is really good!"

"I know."

"I've shot people for less, Mulder. Did you know *that*?"

Fox puckered his lips, making soft kissing noises.

"Don't do that."

"What?"

"*That*." Alex waved his fork at his lover. "That kissing thing."

"Why not?"

"Because it makes me want to drag you up on this table and fuck the life out of you, that's why not."

Fox shook his head, giving Alex a smug grin. "Not tonight, babe."

"What's that?"

"Nothing. Eat your dinner."

"You mean *your* dinner."

"Not any more. You traded with me, remember?"

"I didn't trade with you. You *took* it."

"You wanted me to have it."

"Oh, did I? Well, thanks for telling me. Up till now, I thought I was enjoying my own food."

Nearly half an hour later, they had finished eating and were on their way to the club they'd visited only once before.

Fox pulled into the parking lot and smiled over at his lover. "You've been kind of quiet. Still brooding about your chicken?"

"No," Alex mumbled, staring down at his hands.

"Yes, you are." Fox leaned over, stroking the other's stubbled cheek. He kissed a path along Alex's jaw and lingered at his ear, delicately probing the sensitive interior. "I'll make it up to you," he moaned softly, making the younger man's eyes drift shut and his body shiver.

"Yeah? How?"

Fox pulled back a bit and smiled. "I'll think of something. Come on. Let's go."

He threw his door open and exited the car, and just as Alex was himself stepping out, Fox came around to the passenger's side and pressed him into the side of the car. "You know what?" he asked, his lips grazing his lover's.

Alex moaned softly, writhing against him. "What?"

Fox slipped a hand between then, caressing the bulge in Alex's jeans. "I'm seriously tempted to fuck you right here against the car."

Alex's hips jerked against the older man's hand. "Don't expect me to protest."

Fox chuckled lewdly and drew Alex's zipper down, slipping his hand inside and brushing his fingers along the solid, velvety shaft. "I didn't think you would." He wrapped his hand around his lover's cock, squeezing in a gentle rhythm. "I think we'll wait, though."

"What," Alex panted softly, "not enough of an audience out here for you?"

Fox looked around the sparsely populated lot, then back at the other man, giving him a Cheshire grin. "All I have to do is rip your clothes off and throw you up on the hood. This entire lot'll be full up in five minutes."

Alex squirmed against him. "I dare you."

The older man shook his head, still smiling. "Some other time. Wouldn't be any fun if the tension was lost, would it?" Even as he spoke, his hand increased the speed of its strokes, taking Alex dangerously close to the edge.

"Fox...oh, shit...baby, I...oh, *God*...what...*no*."

Fox released him and quickly zipped his jeans up, giving him a chaste peck on the tip of his nose. "You didn't think I was actually going to let you come, did you?"

Alex let his head drop back against the roof of the car, moaning in agony. "Sadistic son of a bitch."

"Mmm hmm." Fox licked a trail up his lover's throat, stopping halfway and sucking the tender flesh into his mouth. Alex clutched at his jacket, issuing a pained whimper as he applied more suction, but he refused to let go until he was good and ready. Finally, after a quite a few seconds, he released the younger man, leaving a large, reddish-purple patch where his mouth had been.

"Fox," Alex whispered through gritted teeth, pawing at his shirt, "come on. Please..."

"Nope."

The younger man rested his forehead against Fox's shoulder, whining softly, and he grinned, satisfied. He had Alex just where he wanted him, and now it was time for a little fun. He slapped his lover on the hip and took his hand, pulling him toward the entrance.

"Not too crowded," he observed as they walked in, checking his watch. "Of course, it *is* still a bit early." He leaned to his left and pressed a kiss to Alex's temple. "Let's get something to drink."

The two men walked to the bar, and Fox ordered a couple of beers. Bar traffic was light, and they received their drinks immediately. Fox gathered the two bottles together in one hand and placed the other at Alex's back, steering him toward a sofa near the dance floor. He sat first, leaning against the overstuffed arm, and stretching one leg along the length of the sofa while he planted his other foot on the floor. He pulled Alex down between his legs, and the younger man nestled against his chest.

"Comfortable, baby?"

Alex gave no answer. He was too deeply engrossed in watching his lover's lips close around the mouth of the bottle. His tongue flicked at his own lips as Fox tilted his head back and closed his eyes, taking several long swallows. As Fox pulled the bottle away, he leaned in, lapping gingerly at the residual moisture that shimmered on his lover's mouth.

Fox moaned, letting his hand wander up and down Alex's back as the younger man finished licking the beer away, then moved down over his chin and throat, settling down to bathe the exposed skin of his chest. He drained his bottle and set it down, now able to use both hands to caress his lover.

"Alex...baby..."

Alex looked up, reading the deep lust in the amber-flecked eyes, and awaited his lover's word.

"Let's dance."

As Alex had done once several months ago, Fox moved to the most conspicuous spot on the third tier and pulled the younger man into his arms. They moved slowly, in time to the ballad that was playing, Fox's hands roving over Alex's back, and his lips pressing the softest of kisses into his hair.

Alex melted into the older man's touches, practically purring as he rubbed his cheek against his shoulder. They swayed gently, their bodies touching everywhere, and when the music changed to a harder, driving beat, it was some time before they even noticed.

It was Fox who rose first from the sensual fog they'd been immersed in. He slid his fingers through Alex's hair and pulled his head back even as his body pressed closer.

Alex moaned at the feel of his lover's hard cock pushing against his, and he focused on stormy green-gold eyes. Fox trained an intense stare on his lover as his body began a different rhythm, provoking and seducing Alex into identical action. Soon, the two were writhing together, driving each other to a more frenzied tempo.

The air vibrated and the floor shook as all at once, the two men found themselves in the middle of a throng of pulsing bodies. The temperature around them rose noticeably as the crowd pressed closer and closer, and before he knew it, Alex found himself sandwiched between his lover and another man who had boldly attempted to turn the couple into a trio. A possessive flash of Fox's eyes put an end to the man's aspirations, and he slunk away, leaving the men to each other. But the brief incident and Fox's instant reaction only served to arouse Alex further, and he clutched at his lover's ass, rhythmically humping his thigh. His head fell back and his mouth dropped open at the sensations his action generated, but before he could reach a climax, Fox jerked him away, abruptly spinning him around and pressing against his back.

Alex's moans went unheard by all except the one whose body cradled his. He reached back, draping one arm around Fox's neck while the other rested along the one the other man had wrapped around his waist. His head fell back against Fox's shoulder, and he allowed himself to be swept along, becoming one with his lover.

Fox wound his free arm around Alex's neck, rendering his head virtually immobile, and while he rubbed himself against the younger man's ass, his tongue teased the sensitive interior of his ear, pulling a restless groan from the beneficiary of his attention.

Other dancers slowed to almost a dead stop as they watched, entranced by the two who seemed oblivious to all but each other and the music that drove them. Even the disc jockey seemed aware of what was going on below, fading in a harder, more erotic beat and taking the heat a few degrees higher.

Alex's hand left the arm Fox had wound around his waist and curved up and back so that both arms were now hooked around his lover's neck, and he slithered against him, making the bulge in Fox's jeans grow ever harder.

Fox cupped Alex's jaw and turned his face to the right until he was able to take the younger man's mouth in a searing kiss. His hand then dropped to Alex's chest, slipping beneath the leather jacket to caress his chest.

Alex whimpered into Fox's mouth as his lover's hand moved feverishly over him. The cotton of his t-shirt shifted with each pass of Fox's hand, and, soft and worn as it was, it still felt like sandpaper to his hardened nipples. As he began to squirm, Fox clamped his arm around his chest and the hand at his waist skimmed downward over his denim-covered cock then up, undoing the first button on his fly. The second fastening gave quickly, and Fox's hand slid inside. Alex pulled away from his mouth, and he cried out as Fox's fingers curled around his cock and slowly but firmly began to jerk it.

"You want to come for me, baby?" Fox growled in his ear as they continued their wild undulations. He knew the answer as surely as he knew his name, but he so enjoyed hearing his lover beg...

A low mewling sound vibrated in Alex's throat as his body tightened notch by agonizing notch.

"Tell me..."

Alex gritted his teeth and forced himself to speak. "Yes...*yes*. Please, Fox. Want to come..."

Fox pulled his hand out of his lover's jeans, prompting a loud whine of protest. His hand swept upward and under the t-shirt, stroking the smooth, overheated flesh as his tongue mercilessly teased the interior of Alex's ear. "Right here?" he asked, finding a nipple and tugging sharply at it.

"*Yes*."

Fox delivered a stinging bite to the other man's earlobe, making him wince. "You *want* to come in front of all these people, don't you?"

Alex nodded mutely, pushing back against his lover's crotch.

"Fucking slut." Fox brought both hands up to the neck of Alex's t-shirt and pulled, ripping the worn material in two, then spinning him so that they were again face to face. "I love you." Without removing Alex's jacket, he shredded his t-shirt, removing it piece by piece from his body and hurling the scraps at various members of their growing audience. When he'd removed the last bit of material, he grabbed a handful of leather and hauled Alex against his chest. "Do you love me?"

Alex clung to the front of his lover's shirt as their hips moved in unison. "You know I do."

Fox plunged the fingers of one hand into the sable hair and just barely brushed his mouth against his lover's. "Show me."

At least eighty percent of the group dancing on the third tier was now watching as the dark-haired man caught fire, provoking his partner into a ferocious, rhythmic duel. The two thrashed against each other, hands and mouths clinging to hot, slick skin as they careened toward the outer edges of rationality.

Alex pushed Fox beyond that fine edge as he slid down his lover's body, dropping to his knees in front of him. If the music was not so loud, a round of gasps could have been heard as the kneeling man pulled his partner's zipper down and promptly withdrew his cock, sucking the entire length down his throat.

A strained growl ripped from Fox's throat as his fingers sank into his lover's hair, and he began to blindly thrust into his mouth...

The crowd, the blaring music...it all just went away as Fox closed his eyes and let himself drown in the wet heat that now encompassed him. He pushed harder and faster, needing more. So good. God, he needed...

His eyes flew open as Alex tucked him back into his jeans and rose to his feet. Before he could protest, the younger man coiled around him, licking his mouth and jaw.

"Please, fuck me," he begged, nipping at Fox's chin, and before he could make a second request, he was being hauled across the dance floor, moving through the crowd that quickly parted to allow them passage.

They reached the main floor, and Fox stopped short, causing a rear-end collision with his lover.

"*Shit*." He looked around then, before Alex could ask what he was cursing about, he grasped the younger man's wrist and headed for the exit.

"Fox..." Alex strode behind Fox, following his purposeful steps through the parking lot. "Why are we going..."

They reached Fox's car, and the older man shoved Alex against it, tugging at the remaining fastened buttons on his jeans. He jerked the pants down and abruptly spun Alex around, bending him over the hood of the car. He reached a shaky hand into the pocket of his jacket and produced a small tube of lubricant. Quickly, he pulled his own jeans down to the tops of his thighs, stroked the lube on, and pulled Alex's hips back against his.

"Would take too long to get the blanket and go back inside," he explained while he worked his cock inside his lover's squirming ass. "Besides, didn't you want me to fuck you out here?"

Alex clawed at the hood as he felt every inch of his lover push inside of him. "God...oh, God, Fox, please..."

"Let 'im have it!"

Fox's head jerked up and around at the sound of the voice that came from somewhere behind. At least two dozen men had followed them outside and stood in a semi-circle a few feet behind. The one who had shouted at them smirked at Fox.

"Come on, gorgeous. He's begging for it. Do 'im."

Fox turned back and leaned over Alex's back, licking the side of his neck. "We've got company. You wanna take this home?"

Alex growled at the amused tone. "I swear to God, Mulder, if you move a muscle other than to fuck me, I'll rip your dick off."

"Well, isn't that sweet? I guess I'll just take that as a 'no'." Fox drew back and surged forward, pushing Alex up another fraction over the hood. The younger man cried out, sending a hum of appreciation rippling through the crowd behind them.

"Make 'im scream..."

Fox chuckled into Alex's ear as he began to pump steadily into him. "Your fans are making requests."

Alex's brow wrinkled, and he moaned into the pewter metal. He could hear nothing but Fox's voice and the sound of his own cries.

Fox kissed Alex's earlobe then straightened his back and grasped a handful of sable hair with one hand as he steadied his hip with the other. He pulled out halfway then rammed back in, repeating the action again and again, quickly building the pressure in his lower body to an intolerable level. Beneath him, Alex yelped and pleaded for release. His lover's frantic pleas accompanied by the growing shouts of the crowd, worked him into a frenzied state. He increased his pace, simultaneously sliding his hand around to Alex's cock and jerking it in time to his thrusts.

The group held its collective breath as the men against the car tumbled out of control, shuddering and thrashing, their strangled screams rising into the September night air.

Fox's thrusts became erratic then slowed to an intermittent spasm as he emptied himself into his lover. Their screams faded into soft whimpers of exhaustion, and Fox slumped down over Alex's back, resting a moment before pulling the younger man up and readjusting their clothing. He then turned around so that he was the one leaning against the car and Alex was resting against his chest. As he wound his arms around his lover and kissed the top of his head, two from the dispersing group approached. Fox recognized the voice of the man who spoke as the one who was shouting suggestions.

"Not that you need to hear this from anybody else, but," the man began, "you two are totally fucking hot."

Fox gave the man a small grin as he pulled Alex more tightly against him.

The man continued. "I remember you two. You were here a couple of months ago. You set this joint on fire. I think *everybody* got some that night. The regulars were pretty disappointed when we didn't see you for a while."

"We're pretty busy," Fox answered softly, stroking his lover's back.

The other man nodded. "I'm Steve, by the way." He motioned to the other man. "This is my friend Morris. We'd love to buy you guys a drink...you coming back in?"

"We don't share."

Steve looked from the man to whom he'd been speaking, into glittering green eyes. "Hey, I don't blame you," he said to Alex as he turned around and leaned back against Fox. "If I had somebody in my life as hot as either of you, I wouldn't want to share him, either."

Alex looked from Steve to his companion then back.

"Oh...no...Morris is just my friend. We're not *together*. So...you coming back in?"

Alex arched his neck and looked back at Fox, who shrugged then looked at his watch.

"It's not really late, and we've got no place to be tomorrow." Fox kissed the younger man's forehead. "You want to stay a while?"

"Yeah, for a while."

Fox gently pushed Alex away and unlocked the car door.

"What are you..." A broad grin lit his face as Fox pulled the blanket out of the back seat. "Who the hell wound *you* up tonight?"

"You complaining?"

"Did that *sound* like a complaint?"

Fox shut the car door and walked up alongside his lover, slipping an arm around his waist. He motioned with his head to the door, and all four men moved back toward the club.

Morris let out a low chuckle and nudged Steve as they walked. "These guys are my new heroes."

Back inside, they located and claimed a vacant sofa and one chair. As Fox draped the blanket over the leather cushions, Steve found another empty chair a few tables away and pulled it up, sitting beside his friend. He caught a passing waiter and, after getting everyone's drink orders, settled back in his chair and smiled at the couple wrapped around each other on the sofa. "So, you didn't tell us your names."

Alex studied the man's face for a moment, then, obviously deciding that he was okay, spoke up.

"Alex." He looked to the man beside him, gaining a nod of approval, then glanced back at the other two. "This is Fox."

Both men stared for a moment, obviously expecting somebody to tell them that it was a nickname, or short for something else, but when no more information was forthcoming, Morris raised his eyebrows.

"Everybody call you that?"

Fox shrugged. "Very few people, actually. I was never very comfortable with it, so most people call me by my last name. Only Alex and my mother call me Fox."

"So..." Steve cocked his head, staring into the hazel eyes. "...that's the name on your birth certificate?"

"Yeah."

A crooked smile lit the other man's face. "Your mother able to see into the future?"

"How's that?"

"How else did she know that you'd grow into that name?"

Fox grimaced but made no remark. Alex, on the other hand, couldn't let it go by without comment. He turned to the older man and, combing his fingers through the golden-brown hair, smiled softly.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?"

Fox forgot his previous mild irritation and closed his eyes, reveling in Alex's tender touch.

"Gorgeous." Morris heaved a long sigh. "You're one lucky s.o.b...actually, that goes for both of you. You're a perfect match...how long have you been together?"

"We've known each other a number of years, but we only got involved less than a year ago."

Steve gasped in mock horror. "God, what took you so long?"

Fox opened his eyes and gave Alex a smile only they two understood. "Long story."

"Ah. Well, the important thing is you're together now. It would have been a crime if you'd never found your way to each other."

Alex smirked at him. "You don't even know us."

Steve burst into laughter. "I'd have to be deaf, dumb, *and* blind not to realize that you two belong together."

As the group made light conversation, Fox inched closer to Alex until he was practically in his lap, nuzzling and kissing the side of his lover's face and neck.

Finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on what was being said, Alex finally gave up and pulled Fox into his arms, initiating a hard, breath-stealing kiss. Fox squirmed in the younger man's embrace, wanting to get closer, and when Alex finally released his mouth, he found himself in the perfect position to access his lover's chest.

"I think we've been forgotten," Steve murmured to his friend, eyes never leaving the two in front of him.

Alex heard the vague statement and struggled to open his eyes while Fox lovingly bathed his chest. "S-sorry, guys." He swallowed against the sudden dryness that had claimed his throat and petted the golden-brown head that was now over his nipple. He winced as the older man sucked the nub into his mouth and fought to compose himself enough to string more than two words together. "Didn't....ah, *shit*....Jesus, Fox....uh....didn't mean to ignore you."

"S'okay," Morris stopped to clear his throat, then began again. "Uh...we certainly understand. Maybe we should just leave you two..."

"No, Alex interrupted, a sly grin curling his mouth. "No, it's okay. You guys were nice enough to buy us a drink," he purred, gently combing his fingers through his occupied lover's hair, "it'd be rude to just dismiss you..." his eyelashes fluttered, and he released a shuddering sigh as Fox moved to the other nipple, his tongue moving in long, firm strokes over it. "...S-so, how long have you been coming here?"

"Uh..." Steve tore his gaze away from Fox and forced himself to meet Alex's passion-glazed eyes. "About two years. I uh...I met Morris here, actually. We were..." He paused, moistening dry lips as he looked back to the other man and found him slowly moving toward Alex's crotch. "Umm....w-we met at the bar. Turns out we'd both been dumped and, uh....we uh, just sat drinking and commiserating. We became good friends..."

Alex nodded and shifted ever-so-slightly, making it easier for Fox to unbutton his jeans.

"Christ," Steve whispered, watching Fox pull the denim aside then begin licking Alex's cock from base to tip. "What...what about you guys? We've only seen you here once before."

"Yeah," Alex spoke slowly as he attempted to regulate his breathing. "This is...only the s-second time we've...been...here..."

Fox looked up at Alex out of the corner of his eye, gently teasing the tip of his lover's engorged cock, then smiled and swallowed the entire shaft in one fluid motion. At that point, three of the four men gasped loudly, and Alex's hips bucked, raising himself and Fox both a couple of inches off the sofa.

"Oh, my God," Morris moaned, raising a trembling hand to his forehead. "S-Steve, I don't think I'm going to survive this..."

Steve tilted his head to the far right, intently studying Fox. "Shit. I've *never* been able to do that without choking..."

Alex, head thrown back, eyes closed, managed a tremulous grin. "Show 'em how you do it, baby."

Slowly, Fox pulled back from the glistening shaft, placing a kiss at the tip before glancing over at the two men. "First of all," he instructed in that slightly amused, deadpan tone, "you've got to really like the guy you're doing. Willingness to please is a key factor." He paused to take a swipe at his lover's cock, then continued. "Second, is relaxation. If you're not relaxed, it just ain't gonna happen."

The others leaned forward, listening studiously.

"Now," he grinned, "a couple of deep breaths...relax your throat, and..."

Morris whimpered as he watched the whole of Alex's cock disappear past the most luscious lips he'd ever seen. "Oh, God. Oh, shit. Oh, God. Every last, freakin' inch."

Alex would have loved to enjoy the looks on the faces of the others, but he was presently absorbed in the amazing sensations generated by his Fox's mouth gliding up and down the length of his cock. He tangled his fingers in the hair at the back of his lover's head, not to guide Fox, but just for the simple added pleasure of touching him. "That's it, baby," he whispered breathlessly. "Feels sooo goddamn good..."

Fox drew his head up, sucking his way to the top of his lover's cock, then opened his mouth and flicked at the head and underside with his tongue.

"God...no, baby, please. Don't tease..."

As Alex's fingers tightened in Fox's hair, and he attempted to pull him back down, Fox closed his teeth around the head and growled softly, letting Alex know that he was still very much in charge. The younger man immediately submitted, dropping his head back against the cushions and mumbling.

"God, you're going to pay big for this."

Steve moaned at the images that suddenly flashed through his mind. "Oh man, I'd give good money to see that." But he had the distinct feeling that Fox's 'payment' would be made in the privacy of their own bedroom.

Fox released his lover's cock from his mouth and gently rubbed his cheek against it. His eyes drifted open and turned up in the direction of their two-man audience. He gave them a tiny grin and, keeping his eyes on Morris, gripped Alex's cock at the base, swirling his tongue around the head.

Morris dug his fingers into the arm of his chair, and his leg began to bounce up and down. "I can't take it. Steve, I can't, I..."

Apparently he was able to 'take it' a lot better than his friend. He glanced over to find that Steve had already unzipped his pants and was steadily jerking his rigid cock.

"Awww, *fuck*." Morris pulled his own zipper down and went to work on his erection.

Now satisfied that he was about to make three men come, having only touched one of them, Fox sank back down on Alex and concentrated on bringing him to a second orgasm.

"Oh, *yeah*...oh, *God*, yeah," Alex panted as his hips rose and fell. "Don't stop, baby, please...mmmh...please, don't stop..." He thrust twice more into Fox's mouth then went rigid, groaning harshly into the humid air.

Fox swallowed the bitter, vaguely salty fluid, and when Alex finally collapsed, he pulled back, gently cleaning the exhausted shaft then rested his head in the younger man's lap. He smiled over at the two men sprawled in their chairs.

"Is everybody happy?"

Morris did nothing but moan, but Steve lifted his head and spoke up.

"Ohhh, yeah. God, that was better than watching a porn movie..."

Fox kissed his lover's depleted cock then zipped him up. He sat up, kissing Alex's chest, throat, and chin before settling on his lips. Seconds later, he broke the kiss and nuzzled the stubbled cheek. "You alive?"

One eyelid rose, revealing a sparkling pool of green. "Think so."

"Glad to hear it," Fox purred against Alex's jaw. "Cause I'm dyin'."

A lazy smile curved the younger man's lips. "You are?"

Fox gently bit down on Alex's lower lip and pulled. "Like you didn't know...come on, let's go home."

"Home? What for?"

"So you can make me pay like you promised."

Alex stroked Fox's back. "Oh, you've given the last performance of the evening?"

Fox chuckled softly. "Yeah, it was tons of fun, but enough's enough. Let's go."

Alex groaned softly, lifting his head. He focused on the two men who were only just now regaining some of their strength. "I keep telling him we'd make a fortune in porn, but does he listen to me?" Fox smacked the back of his head, knocking loose a soft grunt. "Well, guys, it's been real, but the boss wants to go home now."

Steve nodded. "Okay, we understand." All four men wobbled to their feet and said their good-byes.

"It's been an honor and an education," Morris said, grinning broadly. "I hope we see you guys again soon."

Fox nodded, winding his arms around Alex's waist and resting his head on the younger man's shoulder. "I'm sure we'll run into each other again. Thanks for the drinks, by the way."

"Oh, thank *you* for letting us hang with you a while," Steve replied as he and Morris escorted the other two men to the door. "I had more fun tonight than I remember having in a long, long time."

Hand in hand, the two men moved out into the parking lot and, saying one last good-bye, headed toward their car.

Smiles, waves, and the occasional 'goodnight' greeted them as they walked, and when they finally closed themselves in the car, Alex turned to Fox.

"I think we've made some friends."

"I think you're right."

Once Fox had pulled out of the parking lot, Alex slid across the seat and placed a wandering hand on his thigh. "Have a good time tonight?"

Fox grinned but kept his eyes on the road. "Yeah, I did. You?"

"Oh, yeah. I love it when you're like that."

"Like what?"

"Slutty."

"Looks who's talking."

The younger man laughed softly. "I guess we just bring it out in each other...you enjoyed the hell out of teasing those two guys, though."

"What tease?" Fox asked innocently. "They got off."

"Yeah, but not the way they would have preferred to."

"Alex, you think everybody in the world wants to fuck me."

"That's 'cause they do. And do I have to remind you about how right I was about your boss and your partner?"

"No, that's okay. I think I got it the first few dozen times."

Alex shrugged, letting his hand stroke the inside of his lover's thigh. "Your leg is trembling...how come?"

"Oh, I don't know," Fox answered. "Couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I got you and two other guys off, and I'm still hard as a rock."

"Awww. Are ya?" Alex placed his hand over the prominent bulge in the older man's jeans, rubbing lightly. "Just think cool thoughts. It'll go down."

"Don't fuck with me, Krycek. You're gonna do something about this the minute we get home."

"I am, huh?"

Fox shot him an irritated look and said nothing.

"Okay, well, I do remember telling you that you were going to pay for teasing me."

"That's right...."

"But maybe my idea of payment is letting you suffer."

"And maybe I'll just have to kill you."

"Anybody ever tell you, you get violent when you're frustrated?"

"So, don't let me get frustrated."

Alex inched closer, murmuring in the other man's ear. "But you know how I love living on the edge..." He unzipped Fox's jeans and slipped his hand inside.

Fox took a steadying breath and focused on the road. "Alex..."

"Take it easy, I'm not going to do anything. I just wanted to touch you."

"Yeah, and tease the shit out of me."

Alex wrapped his fingers around his lover's cock and squeezed gently. "Well, you know, what's good for the goose..."

"Prick."

"Yeah, but you love me."

Fox made it home in record time, breaking more than one speed limit, and they burst through the door, tearing at each other's clothing, and not stopping until they were naked and wrestling for dominance on the bedroom floor. The match ended with Fox handcuffed to the bed, legs thrown over Alex's shoulders, and the younger man fucking him like there was no tomorrow.

Alex gripped Fox's hips hard enough to leave bruises as he drove into him again and again, and each time he hit the older man's prostate, a wild scream rattled the windows.

"You like that, baby?" he whispered through gritted teeth and again slammed against his lover.

Fox released another long wail and nodded frantically. "More...please..."

"Never get enough, do you?"

Fox shook his head from side to side. "Never...never enough of you." He opened his eyes and stared up into forest-green eyes. "Love you..."

Bullseye.

God, the man knew how to hit him where he lived. Alex leaned in, moving Fox's legs down to his waist, and covered his mouth in a soft kiss. He pulled back and reached for the key, unlocking his lover's cuffs, and they made love, kissing and caressing well into the early hours of the morning, when they finally fell exhausted and satisfied into each other's arms.

********************

Saturday, noon.

Alex blinked in the bright sunlight that flooded the room, then stretched and looked to this left. A pair of slate-flecked eyes watched him. Tiny lines appeared at the corners of Fox's eyes as he smiled softly.

"Morning."

"I think it's more like afternoon," Fox murmured.

Alex stretched again, purely feline in his movements. "Mmmmm, is it?"

Unable to resist, Fox reached out to stroke his lover's chest. "Yeah, I think so."

Alex rolled onto his side and stared at the older man, contentment radiating from his every pore. Fox grinned at the expression on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just...you're beautiful in the morning."

One golden-brown eyebrow arched upward. "Oh, yeah? I thought everybody but you was hideous in the morning."

Alex laughed softly, shaking his head. "I guess you and I are unique, then." He swept two knuckles across the older man's lower lip. "Get enough sleep?"

Fox looked over at the clock and did some quick calculations. "Let's see, the last time I remember seeing was three-thirty, so......yeah, it's more sleep than I usually get. You?"

"Yeah, I guess, but for some reason, I have no desire to get out of bed."

Fox propped his head up in one hand. "So, what are we going to do, stay here all day?"

Alex slid closer, draping his arm over Fox's waist. "Wouldn't be a bad thing."

Fox growled, moving in toward his lover's mouth. "No, I suppose it wouldn't be so..." The ring of a cell phone interrupted Fox's statement. He looked over to the nightstand at his phone. "Not mine."

Alex pulled a pillow over his face, groaning loudly into it. Only Fox and his contacts had his number. And since Fox was only inches away from him...

He snatched up his jeans where he'd dropped them beside the bed, and pulled the phone from the back pocket.

"*What*? ....When? I thought you said not until....fuck. Fine. And I'll tell you right now, if you fucked up my Saturday for more bullshit, I'm coming to find you." He disconnected and threw the cell over at the chair at the foot of the bed, where it promptly hit the cushion and bounced to the floor.

"You're going to break that thing one day," Fox warned, draping an arm and a leg over the frustrated man.

Alex heaved a harsh groan, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Baby..."

"I know," Fox broke in. "It's back on sooner than you expected."

"Yeah. I gotta get a flight out as soon as possible."

Fox moved away quietly and retrieved the phone from the floor. Sliding back up on the bed, he handed it to Alex. "Better call the airport."

Alex whined pitifully, encircling his lover in his arms. "Don't want to."

Fox burrowed into his lover's warmth. "I don't want you to, either, but..."

"I'm sorry, babe."

"I know. Me too." Fox handed the phone to Alex and lay quietly as the younger man made his call. When it was done, he looked up expectantly. "So?"

Alex hugged Fox tightly to his chest and planted several small kisses into his hair. "Four-ten."

"Well, we'd better get our asses moving, then."

As Fox started to move away, Alex caught him by his arm and pulled him back.

"What's the rush? It's only twelve-thirty. All we gotta do is shower and drive to the airport."

"Saturday traffic, Alex. And you gotta be there an hour ahead of flight time."

"That still leaves us plenty of time."

Fox grinned down at him. "For?"

Alex shrugged and rolled the older man under him. "For...stuff..."

'Stuff' lasted almost an hour, and by the time they'd dragged themselves into the shower, it was one-thirty. They got on the road at two and made it to Dulles by three-ten. Alex checked in, and they sat quietly together until boarding time. When his flight was called, he turned to Fox and, giving him a soft smile, gently squeezed his hand and backed away.

"I'll call you as soon as I get there," he promised. Fox nodded, and Alex suddenly remembered one more thing. "I'll get that information for you and let you know what's what, okay?"

Fox nodded again and formed the words 'I love you' with his mouth.

Alex smiled and puckered his lips briefly, sending a tiny kiss Fox's way, then disappeared from sight.

Alone again for who knew how long, Fox turned and headed for home.

********************

Fox unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Empty apartment. Still and quiet and...

Damn, it felt empty.

He picked up the evening paper that had been dropped outside his door and stepped inside. Dropping the paper down on the coffee table, he noticed the light flashing on his answering machine. He crossed over to the desk and rewound the two messages.

The first was from Scully, telling him that she got stuck subbing for one of the instructors and wouldn't be back from Quantico until Monday night. The second brought a smile to his face.

"I love you, baby. Talk to you soon."

Fox rewound the brief message and closed his eyes as he listened again to the husky voice. He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes as he exhaled, catching sight of a slip of paper peeking out of the newspaper. He walked over to the coffee table and brought the paper up before his eyes. After reading the message, he let his arm drop to his side, cursing softly.

//What to do, what to do...//

According to the message, somehow the Consortium had learned that it had been discovered that Dr. Lieber might still be alive and that his whereabouts were no longer secret, and they were scrambling to move him and his entire lab to another location. In the message, Fox had been provided with the exact location of the lab and a map of the property. And now he stood here, the gold in his hand, with no Scully to accompany him and no time to wait for word from Alex.

//He'll be pissed as hell, Mulder, if you don't wait like you promised.//

//Yeah, but what if they move everything while you're waiting and you lose your opportunity?//

Fox growled and paced for a few moments, then picked up the phone and dialed Alex's cell. Unable to get through, he disconnected and dialed Scully's number. Her phone was also out of service.

"Well, they can't scream at you and tell you that you didn't try this time."

Making one last stab at responsibility, he punched in Skinner's number.

********************

Christ, what a long flight.

Alex sat down on the twin bed in his modest little hotel room and looked at his watch. Fox would probably just be waking.

He picked up the phone and dialed.

"It's me. Yeah...I got a couple of questions for you. What do you know about Dr. Henry Lieber?" ......What do you mean, all at once? ........What? When? Who? Oh, yeah, I know him...dead? No shit. Just on suspicion? Damn, they're not fooling around. Okay, that answers my other questions...yeah, thanks. I'll be in touch."

Alex disconnected and immediately dialed home. The phone rang three times, and he prepared to leave a message, when he noticed that Fox had changed the greeting on the machine...

"Hi. Tried to contact you but couldn't. No time to wait. Gone to check out what we discussed. Leave a message."

"Shit!"

Somehow, Fox had come by the same information he had. Dr. Lieber's concealment had been compromised, and they were switching locations.

And not that it would have changed Fox's mind if he *had* known, but Alex wondered if his information had also included the fact that Smokey had had a senior member of the group killed on the suspicion that it was he who had leaked the doctor's status and location.

He paced the floor, raking his fingers through his hair.

If they could off Irving so easily, then they wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone else who got in their way...especially if it was a man they wanted dead in the first place.

"Shit. Shit, shit..." He dialed Fox's cell and got the not in service message. Trying to remain cool, he tried Scully's number and got the same recording. "Dammit!" He tossed the phone on the bed, paced for a minute, then snatched it up again and dialed Skinner. At the sound of the soft baritone, he spoke.

"Skinner, it's Krycek."

"What the hell do you want at this time in the morning?"

"I got a question for you. I'm out of town, and I need to know if you know where Fox is."

"You mean you haven't tagged him with a tracking device?"

"I don't have time for your bullshit, Skinner. Has he or has he not contacted you with his whereabouts in the past twelve hours?"

"He's on a *case*, Krycek. That good enough for you?"

"Where?"

"If he wants you to know, he'll tell you when he sees you."

"Dammit, Skinner, this is important! Is Scully with him?"

"No."

"*No*?"

"That's what I said. She's out of town."

"She's still at Quantico? She was supposed to come back today!"

Silence.

"Fuck! Skinner, listen to me, and listen good. Fox has gone to Vermont..."

"Thought you didn't know where he was?"

"Oh, for the love of...*listen*, would you? He could be in danger. The man he's gone to investigate is big time trouble. The people he's involved with will do anything...kill *anyone* to maintain his privacy. We already know that if given the opportunity, they'll get rid of Fox. He's got no backup, Skinner. You gotta stop him..."

Skinner propped up a few pillows and sank back against them. "How do I know that's the real reason you don't want him to go up there? Could it be that he'll find something that *you* don't want him to find?"

"The only thing up there I don't want him to find, Skinner, is a bullet with his name on it. Now get your ass up to Vermont, and get him out of there! I'm on my way home as soon as I can get a flight."

No answer.

"Did you hear me?"

"Oh, yeah, I heard you."

"You gotta believe me..."

"Krycek, I would have trouble believing you if you told me the sky was blue."

"I'm not lying, you stupid son of a bitch!"

"Oh, yeah, that's going to get me right up there..."

"*Fuck*!" Alex hung up on Skinner, vowing to deal with him later, then called the airport. Not waiting for a commercial flight, he chartered a private plane and, as soon as the arrangements were made, he tried Scully once more.

Still, nothing.

He hurled a stream of curses into the air, gathered up his things, and rushed back out.

Four hours and at least a dozen tries later, Scully answered her phone.

"Scully."

"God. Thank God. Scully, it's Alex."

"Why the hell are you bugging me on a Sunday, Krycek?"

Alex explained himself to Scully much in the same way he did to Skinner but fortunately got a different response.

"Sounds just like him. You really think he's in that much danger?"

"I know these people better than you do, Scully. They'll kill him if they find him there. I tried to tell this to Skinner, but he won't hear it."

"You can't really blame him, Krycek. Hell, I don't know why *I* should believe you, except that there's this little voice in the back of my head that tells me I should."

"Listen to that voice, convince Skinner, and the two of you get the hell up there! I'm in the air, but it'll be at least eight hours before I land. Keep your phone on; I'll be in touch."

He gave her the directions to the lab in Vermont, begged her again to hurry, and disconnected. "God, Fox," he whispered, staring out the window. "Please watch your ass."

********************

"Skinner."

"Sir, it's Scully."

"What is it, Agent Scully?"

"Sir, I need your help."

"With what?"

"I just finished talking to Alex Krycek. I'm on my way to the airport. Sir, I need you to meet me in Vermont."

"Oh, please, Scully. You don't really believe that garbage that Krycek is shoveling, do you?"

"I do, sir, or I wouldn't be going to Vermont."

"What the hell did he say to rope you in?"

"I...I don't know that he said anything different to me than he said to you, but...it was something in his voice. He's worried."

"Of course, he's worried. Worried that Mulder will find something up there that'll finally expose him for the lying bastard that he is."

"No, sir. I wish I could explain to you why, but I don't believe that's so. I've watched them closely these past months. Krycek has never once given me even the slightest cause for suspicion. Yes, he's arrogant and abrasive, and he takes great pleasure in irritating the hell out of us, but I can say with all certainty that he loves Mulder, and he's frightened. Not for himself, but for Mulder's safety. Please, sir. I've tried reaching Mulder on his cell phone, but I get no answer. *I'm* worried. Please, meet me in Vermont."

Skinner ran a hand over his head as he paced. "All right, Scully, all right. I'll meet you there."

"Thank you, sir. See you soon."

Skinner set the phone down and stared out into the street below for several seconds before turning and heading to the second floor.

********************

"Are we ready?"

"Yes."

"There will be...*nothing* left behind for anyone to find?"

"Nothing."

"Excellent. I suppose it's time we left, then."

********************

"Agent Scully." Skinner picked his way through the maze of equipment and personnel, finally reaching the pale woman who stood staring at the rubble that might have once been a grand house. "What happened here?"

Scully opened her mouth, eyelids fluttering rapidly. "I...I don't know, sir. I got here only a little while ago and found this." She motioned to the still-smoking remains with a shaking hand.

The A.D. took a long gulp of air. "Agent Mulder?"

"His rental car was found..." Scully stopped, fighting to remain poised. "It was found on the side of a road about half a mile from here."

Skinner looked from Scully to the demolished house. "It doesn't mean he was inside."

"No," she whispered, "no, it doesn't. They're searching now for...bodies, but because of the force of the blast and because the ensuing fire burned for so long before anyone got here, they really don't expect to find anyone."

Skinner stepped away from his agent and moved a few feet closer to the scene, scanning the area.

"Sir?"

He heard nothing except the roar of machinery and the growing internal whisper of guilt.

********************

Alex disembarked and sprinted over to the car rental counter, looking at his watch.

Eight-fifteen p.m. and no contact with Scully. He'd tried several times to call her with no luck. He'd tried Fox as well, each time in vain, and his continued inability to to reach his lover was winding him tighter and tighter with each failed attempt.

Fortunately, the counter was deserted, and he was able to breeze right through. He raced out to the lot, found the car, and screeched out onto the interstate, again punching in Scully's number as he drove. Again there was no answer, and his curses vibrated within the too-small compartment of the compact car.

It had been several hours since that initial contact with Scully, and he had no idea if he would even find her at the lab, but since he couldn't reach her, he had no choice but to go there first.

The closer he got, the worse he felt, and he told himself that it was just the anticipation and the stress of not having been able to reach Fox that was working on him. He inhaled and released a shaky breath, mentally fortifying himself, and punched his speed up to ninety.

********************

"Sir..."

Skinner spun around, turning a sharp gaze on the investigator who had approached him and Scully from behind.

"What have you got?" Scully snapped, noticing that the man held a small, dark object in a plastic bag.

"A wallet." The investigator held the bag up, and Scully snatched it from him.

Skinner turned a withering stare on him. "You can't turn up a single body, yet you were able to find a wallet?"

"Things just happen that way sometimes, sir. No one knows why..."

"Oh, my God."

Skinner's attention turned to his ashen agent. He simply stared into her pain-riddled face, too afraid to ask.

Watery, cerulean eyes rose to meet his. "It's Mulder's wallet, sir," she choked, fingering the charred leather. "God...oh, my God..."

********************

As Alex turned onto the access road indicated on the map, the flashing lights he saw in the distance did nothing to assuage his growing sense of dread. He drove up to the roadblock and leapt out of the car, streaking toward the barricade only to be stopped by a uniformed guard.

"Sorry, sir, you'll have to turn back."

"What happened?" he asked, desperation shaking his voice. "What the hell happened up there?"

"What happened up there is no concern of yours, sir. Please get back in your car..."

"The hell it isn't! I gotta get up there! Now, either you let me through, or..."

The guard interrupted Alex's threat. "No one allowed on the premises, sir, without authorization."

"Is Agent Scully here? Find her. She knows I'm coming."

"The guard looked at his clipboard. "If she knows you're coming, then you should be on this list, shouldn't you? What's your name?"

"Krycek."

"Nnnnnope. No Krycek. Sorry..."

Alex snatched the guard, dragging him up against the barrier. "Find Agent Scully," he hissed. "Find her now, or I'm going to feed your little clipboard to you, piece by jagged piece..."

********************

"Agent Scully, I'm sorry, but you're needed outside."

Scully turned red-rimmed eyes to the man standing in the doorway.

"There's a man at the barricade. He's got hold of the guard and refuses to let him go until you authorize him."

Skinner ran a hand over the top of his head. "Tall, thirty-ish, dark hair?"

"Yes, sir."

Scully turned away from the man, closing her eyes and bowing her head. "Let him through."

Seconds later, Alex burst through the entrance of the base trailer, wild eyes darting around the small interior. Finally, his gaze fell on the woman who sat quietly, shoulders slumped and eyes to the floor.

"Where is he?"

He watched a tear drop from her eye, then turned his attention on the man who stood behind her. "Skinner?"

Skinner opened his mouth to speak and, not knowing how to say what he had to say, took a deep breath and tried again.

"Krycek..."

Alex sailed at the older man, his momentum propelling Skinner backward and slamming him against the wall. "*Where* is he??" he roared, clutching the front of Skinner's jacket so tightly it cut off his air.

It took four men and Scully to finally pry Alex away, and they had a difficult time holding onto him as he fought the restraining hands. "Tell me where he is, you son of a bitch!" He railed at the shaken man, thrashing against the four men who still held him.

"Alex," Scully called, trying to get his attention. "*Alex*, stop! Stop, and listen to me!"

Slowly, Alex ceased his struggle then fixed a dark green stare on her. The men released their hold on him and backed off a couple of steps.

Scully lifted a hand to his arm and took a moment to compose herself. "Alex, there...you can see, obviously, that there was an explosion. It leveled the house, and...Alex, Mulder's rental car was discovered not far from here, and..."

"And, *what*?" Alex half-demanded, half-pleaded.

"And, they found this in the rubble." She produced the wallet and backed away as he gingerly plucked it from her palm.

Alex turned the burned object over then opened it up to examine the remains of the contents. Slowly, he shook his head as he stared down at Fox's badly damaged, but still recognizable, ID. He looked up at Scully, still shaking his head, then over at Skinner. A murderous gleam coated his eyes, and he again lunged at the A.D., but the men who had been restraining him jumped between the two.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" Alex screamed. "I *told* you he was in danger! I *told* you!"

Scully again got between the enraged man and his intended victim. "Alex, stop it! You can't do this!" She motioned to the men who were again holding him, and they wrestled him outside. She turned to Skinner, who had sunk into a chair, one hand covering his face. "Sir..."

"I'm all right," he whispered. "Go see to him."

Without another word to him, Scully retreated to the outside and closed the door behind her. She approached Alex and instructed the men to let him go and stand by the trailer door. As soon as they released him, he spun in the direction of the leveled house and the hoards of people scouring the debris.

"They've found no bodies," she said softly, "but as they haven't yet, they really don't expect to."

"He..." Alex began, blinking back the tears that scalded his eyes. "...Scully, he could be trapped somewhere under all that stuff. Maybe he's unconscious, or..."

"Alex..."

Alex whirled to face her. "He *could* be!" He jerked back in that direction. "I gotta find him..."

"Alex, don't..."

Before Scully could finish her sentence, Alex was racing up toward the smoldering rubble. He started on the first pile he came to, throwing aside blackened timbers and chunks of cement.

Scully watched helplessly as he tore through that pile and started on another. It was pointless to talk to him right now; she knew he wouldn't listen. She would let him wear himself out then try again. While she waited, she sat down on the bumper of one of the police cars and closed her eyes but opened them again almost immediately as Alex's voice, strained and desperate, sounded in the crisp night air, calling to his lost lover. She started to cry softly as he stumbled around the wreckage of the house, his calls becoming louder until they turned into harsh wails.

The sound brought Skinner from the trailer, and he approached the police car, standing beside Scully. "What is he doing?" he asked, watching the madman tear around the site.

"He's looking for Mulder," Scully said flatly, her eyes following Alex's wild movements.

"He thinks he's alive?"

She shrugged weakly. "He's in denial, sir. Very common in such situations." She turned blood-red eyes up to her superior. "We were so wrong about him. We let hatred blind us. And now that I can finally admit that....it's too late."

Skinner nodded and took a shaky breath. "And my blindness might very well have caused this. Krycek was right. If I had listened to him, if I had..."

"We don't know that, sir. We don't know that it would have changed the outcome at all."

"But we don't know that it wouldn't have. He's gone from all our lives, and it could very well be my fault." Tormented brown eyes watched as the man whom Skinner had too late come to realize truly loved Fox Mulder lurched through the ruins in a futile search for him.

********************

Alex was faltering.

He'd dug until his hands were raw, and then dug some more, but now he'd begun to weaken. He tugged ineffectually at a beam wedged between two rocks but could not budge it. When he finally realized that his strength was drained, he sank down on the ground and stared blankly at the commotion that went on around him.

Policemen and FBI agents swarmed around the area. Backhoes dug and cranes lifted while dogs sniffed, but the only thing they'd turned up to prove that someone had been in the house was a platinum wedding band and some brass buttons. That and, of course, Fox's wallet.

Alex looked down at his bleeding hands then clasped them together. If all this hardware and trained personnel could only produce those few things, what chance did he have?

He looked around once more, praying for a miracle, but one was not to be had.

"Alex." Scully waited for a response and, getting none, she squatted before the exhausted man. "Alex, come with me."

Dazed, green eyes blinked at her.

"Alex, come get some rest. They'll call us if they turn anything up."

"I can't," he said, just above a whisper. "What if..."

Tears again sprang to Scully's eyes. "Alex, listen to me. There is no 'what if'. They are *not* going to find him alive...chances are great they won't find him at all..."

Alex bowed his head. "No..."

"I don't want to believe it either," Scully told him, sniffing back a sob, "but we're faced with undeniable proof, here. Refusing to accept it isn't going to change the facts."

"He can't be dead, Scully. I can't, I can't..." Alex choked on his words. "...I can't lose him."

"I'm sorry, Alex. You'll never know how sorry. You know what Mulder meant to me. I keep praying that I'm going to wake up and find out that this has all been a terrible dream."

Alex brought his hands to his face, shuddering violently.

"Oh, my God." Scully noticed Alex's hands for the first time since coming to talk to him, and she rose to her feet, closing her fingers around his wrists. "Alex, come with me. You need medical attention." She tugged and pulled and finally got the now silent man to his feet. She walked him slowly past the scurrying workers toward the command base.

Skinner watched warily as Alex moved blindly past him and up the two steps into the trailer. He followed at a discreet distance, settling himself against the far wall as Scully sat the nearly comatose man in a chair and tended to his scraped and bruised hands. When she was through, he motioned to her and stepped away.

"Alex," Scully called softly, touching one bandaged hand. "There's a cot over there. Why don't you go lie down?"

Alex shook his head, staring at the floor.

"You're exhausted. You need rest."

No response.

Scully dropped her head, heaving a long sigh. She turned in Skinner's direction and joined him at the other end of the trailer.

"He's in rough shape," she informed him, running a hand through her hair. "I don't...I don't know what to do for him."

"What about you?" he asked. "You need to rest as much as he does."

"I can't. Not until they've moved every pebble."

"We have."

Scully and Skinner turned in the direction of the voice at the door.

"We've just begun a second search."

"You found nothing more?" Scully asked the head of the search team.

"No, ma'am. Nothing at all. We've gone through that rubble with a fine-tooth comb. This second search is really just a formality."

Skinner turned his head and closed his eyes.

"I'm really very sorry," the man offered. "I know the man we were looking for was one of your own."

The man disappeared from the trailer, leaving behind him a silence so final that it rendered the two agents speechless. Not a word more was spoken in the trailer until day broke, and an officer came in to ask if anyone would like a cup of coffee and some breakfast.

Scully declined the offer and moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Skinner asked, rising stiffly from the chair he'd occupied for most of the night.

"To see if they're almost done."

"I'll go," Skinner volunteered, nodding at the man who hadn't spoken or moved since the night before. "He needs to get up, and you know he won't let *me* near him."

Scully nodded her agreement and, when Skinner had gone outside, walked over to Alex and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Alex, I think we'll be leaving soon."

Unresponsive eyes turned up to hers.

"They're almost done with the second search. It's just about time for us to go home."

*Home*?

The place he'd come to know as home...the only place he'd *ever* think of as home, had in the blink of an eye become something completely different. Every room, every stick of furniture would now be reminders of what would never be again. He'd never come *home* to find Fox making a disastrous attempt at dinner...never return in the middle of the night and crawl into bed to wrap himself around his sleeping lover...never feel their slick, warm bodies pressed together in the shower...

"I can't. I have...I have to stay."

"Alex, there's nothing here for you."

"Fox was here. It's the last place he was."

"Yes..."

"Then this is where I want to be."

"Alex, I...I can't let you stay here. Mulder would want you to go home. He'd want me to make sure that you were all right, and that's what I'm going to do."

The door opened and Skinner walked back in. "They, uh...they're just about finished. I'm going to stay behind here to tie things up, but you," he looked back and forth between Scully and Alex, "should go on home."

Scully nodded and looked down at the seated man. "Alex, I'm going to call the airport and book our flight. You're coming back with me, do you understand?" When silence was her only answer, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the airport.

Three hours later, she and Alex were sitting side by side on a plane, Alex tightly clutching the remnants of his lover's wallet.

"Alex, I..." Scully stopped, unsure of whether or not she should broach the subject, then decided to go ahead and ask. "...I know this is the last thing on your mind, but I have to bring it up. There are..." She stopped again, swallowing down the sudden rush of tears. "...there are arrangements that need to be made. Mrs. Mulder has to be contacted. The service has to be planned..."

Alex turned from her, curling up in his seat.

"I'm sorry, I just need to know how involved you want to be. I think Mulder would want *you* to take care of things, but I'd understand if you weren't up to it, and I'm here to lend you whatever assistance you need..."

In another time and place, Scully offering him her help would be a funny thing...fodder for many a wisecrack, but now, her words barely registered in his head.

Scully could see that Alex was not with her, and she abandoned her attempt to engage him in conversation. She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.

There was time enough to make the necessary preparations. She would give him a while longer then try again.

//I *am* trying, Mulder. I promise, I'll keep trying.//

********************

Scully pulled up outside of Hegal Place and, with a shaking hand, turned the engine off. "Alex," she called softly to her silent passenger, "Alex, we're here." Receiving no response, she forced herself to get out of the car and circled around to the right side where she opened the door and reached inside, tucking her hand in the crook of Alex's arm. "Come on."

Alex tightened, refusing to move. "No," he whispered. "No, no..."

Scully closed her eyes briefly, praying for the strength she was going to need to get them both through this. "Alex...you can't just sit out here in the car forever. You have to go inside sooner or later."

Ten minutes and a lot of coaxing later, Scully managed to get Alex out of the car and walking toward the building. Every step was an effort, and when she finally got him into the elevator, she took a moment to catch her breath and brace herself for the trip down the hall to the apartment.

When the doors opened, she said a silent prayer, led Alex into the hall, and began the trek to number forty-two. She felt the trembling of his body increase with every gained step, and by the time they reached the door, Alex was ready to crumble.

Scully attempted three times to insert the key into the lock, but her quaking hand made it difficult for her to perform the task. Finally, she succeeded and pushed the door open. One unsteady step at a time, she entered the dark apartment, turning the ceiling light on in the dining room. Brightness flooded the area, and a deep, burning sorrow flooded her heart. She choked back a sob and turned to look back toward the door.

//Oh, no.//

"Alex?" She hurried to the entrance, afraid that he had bolted, but when she reached the threshold, she found him there in the hall, sitting on the floor just outside the door. She squatted beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Alex, what are you doing? You can't sit out here. Come on in."

Silent shake of the sable head.

"I know it's hard. It hurts like hell, but we have to...there are things we need to do..."

"You do them," Alex said, voice just barely above a whisper.

"Are you sure you don't want *any* part of this? Consider it carefully, Alex. In time you may regret not doing it. You and I both know Mulder would want you to handle his service."

Alex turned, pressing into the wall. If he could have burrowed through it, he would have. "I can't, Scully. Please, I...leave me alone." He clutched the wallet to his chest. "Just please leave me alone."

Knowing there was no reasoning with him at this point, Scully rose to her feet and drifted back into the empty apartment. She left the door wide open so she could at least keep an eye on him, and she set about making her phone calls. She lifted the phone in one trembling hand and punched in the first number of many.

"Byers. It's Scully..."

********************

The view from the third passenger window of the small jet was a breathtaking one, not that Skinner had noticed. He sat staring out at the dazzling white clouds, not seeing a thing.

Mulder...Fox...beautiful, brilliant, irrepressible Fox. Gone. Just gone.

And it was his hatred and distrust of a man that Fox trusted implicitly and loved dearly that had caused this.

//I never thought...Jesus, Mulder, if I'd known...I'm sorry, I...your life is over, and I don't know what to do or say..I'm hurting. God, I'm hurting so much, but I...what right have I got thinking about myself when I'm the one who could have stopped this? It's because I was so stubborn that Scully is going through what she is now, and...and Krycek...I never dreamed that he could be so...my God, he really does love you. I can't blame him for wanting me dead. If our situations were reversed, I wouldn't stop until he'd paid dearly for what he'd done...//

Skinner lowered his head and covered his eyes.

//You were a true believer in anything paranormal, Fox, and more than once you made me a believer too. I know that if you can, you'll find a way to let Krycek and Scully know...they need something, some comfort, something...Scully is staying strong, though I know this is killing her, but Krycek is a mess. There doesn't seem to be anything that can be done for him. No one to draw strength or comfort from. Not from Scully, and damn sure not from me. He needs you, Fox. I don't...I don't know if you can really hear me or not, but if you can, please know how sorry I am...if there was a way...if I could go back and fix this, I would. I'd gladly trade places with you. You've lost out on a lifetime of love, and I'll never forgive myself for taking that from you...//

He gritted his teeth, forcing the trembling of his body to cease.

//I wanted it to be me. I wanted it more than I could say, but more than that, I wanted your happiness. Please believe that. I'm so sorry that I refused to see that you *were* happy. If I had....God, why didn't I see it?//

********************

Two hours had passed, and still Alex refused to come into the apartment.

Scully tried three times to coax him in, but no luck.

Calls made, she now sat on the sofa, eyes wandering around the apartment.

So many years running in and out of this place. So much time spent fixing broken door locks, scrubbing blood off the floors...rooting around in his empty refrigerator...

All done. All over and done.

He'd gotten himself into so much trouble over the years. Faced death more times than she'd care to count, but somehow he'd always slipped the noose.

Not this time.

She couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe that this time he was really gone. This had to be some kind of joke...some horrible joke, and soon someone would start to laugh and apologize for pulling such an awful prank and getting everyone all riled up.

No dice.

She bowed her head and, for the first time since discovering that Mulder had perished in the explosion, really let go. She cried until she couldn't cry any more, and when she was done, she sat. Just sat until thoughts of Alex made her rise. She started toward the open door to check on him, and halfway there, the phone rang, and she turned back to answer it.

"Scully, are you all right?"

"Yes...yes, sir," she whispered into the phone.

"I'm back."

"You are?" She looked at her watch, only now just realizing that she and Alex had been back for almost six hours.

Alex.

God, had he been sitting out there all this time?

Cordless phone to her ear, she walked to the door and peeked out. There, in the same spot, Alex sat, head against the wall, eyes closed. His chest rose and fell slowly, and she determined that he'd fallen asleep.

"...should tell her..."

Scully moved away from the door before she spoke, afraid of waking the exhausted man. "What was that, sir?"

"I was asking if you'd called Mrs. Mulder."

"No. That's the one call I didn't make."

"I think we owe it to her to tell her ourselves. You stay there and try to get some rest. I'll go and see her myself."

"Thank you, sir, I appreciate that."

"How's Krycek?"

"Not good. He's actually asleep right now....in the hall."

"The hall?"

"He refused to come into the apartment. He sat down on the floor in the hall, and he fell asleep there."

"You can't leave him out there."

"And I can't force him to come in...wait a minute..."

Scully watched quietly as a shadow moved across the doorway. Little by little, Alex inched forward. Finally, he made it inside and moved slowly across the room. Still holding the wallet to his chest, he crossed over to the fish tank and sprinkled some food into the water. Not meeting her eyes, he drifted into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

"Scully....Scully?"

Scully readjusted the phone against her ear. "I'm sorry...he just came in. Fed the fish, and went into the bedroom."

"At least he's inside now."

"Thank God, I was beginning to think I was going to have to put a blanket and pillow out there for him." Scully paused, rubbing her forehead. "Uh...I started making phone calls...notifications. The Gunmen wanted to come right over, but I held them off. Alex is way too unstable to deal with visitors."

Skinner went silent for a moment, then, "How do you think he's going to handle the service?"

"I don't even want to think about that."

"Well...I'd better get going. The sooner I get this visit to Mrs. Mulder over, the better. I'll call you when I get back."

"All right, sir. Thank you."

Scully set the phone down and looked in the direction of the bedroom. Reluctantly, she rose to her feet and wobbled toward the closed door. Knocking softly, she called Alex's name.

"Alex? Alex, can I come in?"

No answer.

"Alex, please. Just say something to let me know that you're all right."

Still nothing.

"Answer me, or I'm coming in."

She waited a few seconds and opened the door to find Alex sorting laundry.

"What are you doing?"

"Gotta separate his clothes for him, or he winds up with pink and green underwear."

Scully's mouth fell open.

//God...oh, please, God...//

"Alex."

Alex lifted a pair of jeans and fished through the pockets. "He left some tissue in his pants once. Got all over everything in the washer."

"Don't do this. Please, Alex, this is hard enough."

He set one basket aside and picked up another, giving no indication that he'd heard a word she'd said. Scully walked up to him and snatched the basket away, bent on making him hear her.

"He's not going to be wearing any of this stuff, Alex...*ever*! Now, stop this!"

Alex picked up the full basket and hurled it across the room, scattering clothes everywhere.

"Shut up! Just shut up and get out!"

Scully stared, stunned as Alex sank to the floor, leaning against the footboard of the bed, and pulled a shirt into his lap. She stood frozen for a moment, then slowly approached, touching the back of his head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm just...I'm so tired, and...there's so much to do..."

"Then, go do it. Or go home and sleep. Just get out and leave me alone."

"All right. All right, I'm going. But I'll be back, Alex. I'm not going to let you just curl up here with his clothes and die..."

Alex heaved himself off the floor and spun in her direction. "Why the hell do you care?" he literally screamed. "You hate me! You never wanted me to have him! Well, you got your wish, didn't you? I don't have him any more!"

"Shut up, Krycek!" Scully screamed back. "You think you've got a lock on grief? You think you're the only one in any pain? Think again! I loved Mulder! And yes, I hated you. *Yes*, I never wanted you to have him! But I'm not blind, you idiot! I came to understand over the last few months that you really did love him, and all I wanted for him, first and foremost, was to be happy and to be loved the way he deserved to be!" Her voice lowered several decibels. "You gave that to him." Tears sprang to her eyes. "And it kills me that his life was cut short just as it was really beginning."

Alex stared at her, his eyes welling up. His lips began to quiver, and a short, choked whimper pushed up from his throat. He swallowed it back, but another soon took its place, and before long, his entire body was wracked with heaving sobs. Unable to hold him up, his knees gave out, and he again slid to the floor, but Scully met him there, taking him into her arms and holding him while they both cried themselves to exhaustion. Sleep stole in quickly then, wrapping both in blessed oblivion, even as Alex lay wrapped in the arms of the woman who would now be his only comfort.

********************

A distant ringing startled Scully out of sleep. She blinked and winced as her muscles protested against the position they'd been twisted into for the last three hours. She flinched as the sable head that had been resting in her lap jerked up and Alex looked dazedly around the room. She placed a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him away and pulled herself up. "It's the phone," she explained, dragging herself toward the shrilling object beside the bed. "Hello?"

"Agent Scully."

"Yes..." Scully stopped to clear her throat, then started again. "Yes, sir?"

"I'm with Mrs. Mulder."

"How is she?"

"Not too good. I'm going to get a hotel room and accompany her to D.C. later today..."

Scully looked at her watch, noting that it was very early in the morning.

"Since she's obviously in no condition, and you know all of Mulder's friends and associates, she's asked that you take care of the service."

Scully ran a hand through her hair and rolled her head back along her shoulders. //Never even thought of her.// "Yes, sir."

"How's Krycek?"

Scully looked down to the man who had since crawled up onto the bed and was now lying on his side with what she could only assume was Mulder's pillow crushed to his chest. "Drained. We were both actually asleep when you called."

"Oh. Well, sorry, but I thought you'd like to know about Mrs. Mulder."

"Yes, sir, I'm glad you called. "I'll see you later today, then." Scully placed the phone down on the nightstand and sat at the edge of the bed. Swollen, blood-shot eyes looked up at her.

"How is she?"

"Not too good, Skinner says. It'd be crazy to think that she would be anything else, I guess. Losing one child is devastating enough. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose two." She looked down at the man who had since buried his face in his pillow. "Why don't you go back to sleep? I think I'll go into the other room and start working on a list of things we have to do."

"No," Alex mumbled into the pillow, shaking his head. "I can't go back to sleep." He got up, and, carrying Fox's pillow with him, he trudged into the living room. Scully followed, watching him curl up in the corner of the sofa. He placed the pillow over the arm and laid his cheek against it. The pain that contorted his face brought a fresh sting of tears to her eyes.

"Alex?"

"It smells like him, you know." Alex turned his face into the cornflower-blue colored puff, inhaling as he hugged it gently.

Scully lowered her head for a moment, composing herself then took a notebook and pen from Fox's desk and sat down in the chair opposite the sofa. "All right....Alex? Are you ready?"

"No," Alex whispered softly. "But I never will be, so..."

He went along with every suggestion Scully made, absently nodding or uttering a soft 'okay', until she made one particular proposal.

"...and I was thinking that it might be appropriate for Skinner to say a few words..."

"No."

"...Alex..."

"*No*." Alex lifted his head, eyes glittering with hatred. "I don't want him anywhere near this."

"Alex, you can't hold him responsible..."

"Bullshit!" Alex leapt from the sofa and began to prowl back and forth, his eyes never leaving the seated woman. "This is *all* his fault! He couldn't see far enough past his own goddamn jealousy, and look where it got us!" He stopped short, hands clenching at his sides. "He took him from me, Scully...he took my Fox!"

"Alex, please." Scully turned sympathetic eyes up to him. "I understand how you feel, but you have to try to understand. Skinner didn't trust you. Neither did *I*. "

"But you *believed* me! If I had been able to get through to you when I got through to Skinner, Fox'd still be here!"

"We don't know that," Scully said to him in her most soothing voice. "It's impossible to know a thing like that. Alex, please don't be so hard on Skinner. He's feeling the pain too."

"I don't give a *shit* what he feels."

Scully raised a hand to her forehead. "Okay, I won't ask Skinner to speak. But *please*, promise me you won't start anything with him."

"You just promise *me* you'll keep him out of my sight."

By the time they'd finished reviewing the arrangements, Scully was able to make the necessary calls and get the service set for two o'clock the next day. Skinner informed her when he and Mrs. Mulder had arrived in town and that the woman had wanted no part of going to her son's apartment as of yet. She was having a hard enough time dealing with the news of his death; there was no way that she'd be able to handle walking into this apartment. The news was a relief to Scully, as she had not the strength or the desire to deal with Mrs. Mulder's reaction to Alex.

A good part of the day was spent greeting friends who had dropped by to offer their condolences. Though many had come, none stayed very long after encountering Fox's grieving lover. Those who had no idea about Alex were shocked, to say the least, and were too uncomfortable in his presence to linger. Those who did know and understand, cut their visit short for the simple reason that Alex's mood was far too unstable for his comfort or theirs.

As the last of the mourners left, two men Scully had never seen before appeared at the open door.

"I'm sorry," one of them said softly. "But, this *is* the apartment of Fox Mulder?"

"Yes. Who are you?"

The spokesman pointed to his companion then to himself. "This is Morris. My name is Steve. We...we're acquaintances of..." The man caught sight of Alex as he wandered out of the kitchen and called his name.

Alex turned at the sound of the vaguely familiar voice and motioned the two men in. "It's okay, Scully," he said flatly. "I know who they are."

Scully stepped aside and allowed the men to enter.

"Alex, we...we hope you don't mind us dropping in on you like this, but...Morris here called me up earlier and told me to turn on channel seven. We saw the report about an Agent Fox Mulder of the FBI having died in an explosion in Vermont. That name...it was so much of a coincidence for someone *else* to have such an odd name. Uh...Morris here works for the DMV, so he tapped the database and came up with the ID. When we saw the driver's license picture, we knew..."

Alex sat stiffly on the sofa and lowered his head.

"...We, uh...we thought we'd come by to offer our sympathy and see how you were doing."

"Thank you," Alex whispered. "That was nice of you."

Morris fidgeted nervously, then sat beside Alex. "We don't know you very well at all, but...there was no doubt in the world how much you loved each other. God, I can't believe it. How are you doing?"

Alex reached into his back pocket, producing the battered wallet. "This is all they found of him at the scene." His hands trembled. "I'm waiting....I keep waiting to wake up and feel his head on my chest and my arms around him, but it never happens." A tear escaped one eye. "I want to wake up. God, somebody please wake me up."

Scully approached and dropped down on the other side of Alex, gathering him into her arms as he started to sob quietly. She looked from one man to the other as she held on to Alex. "Thank you for coming," she stated softly. "I'm Dana Scully. I'm...I was Mulder's partner."

Steve nodded. "I see. Please accept our sympathies."

"Thank you."

"I'm glad to see he's got somebody to lean on," Morris said, indicating the man in her arms.

Scully pressed her lips to Alex's ear, murmuring some soft words of comfort as she stroked his back, then looked back to the man who had remained standing. "I don't know how much help I'm being to him, but I'm doing my best."

"Well," Steve said, touching her hand, "Morris and I had only just met Alex and Fox, but we just feel so awful about what's happened. If there's anything at all we can do for you, we hope you'll let us know."

Steve pulled a card from his wallet and placed it down on the coffee table. "That's my name and number. Please feel free."

"Thank you so much." Scully continued to stroke the man who refused to lift his head from her shoulder. "I appreciate your gesture, and I know Alex does too."

Morris rose to his feet and he motioned to Steve, silently suggesting that they go.

Steve nodded his agreement, then looked back to Scully. "One more thing...uh...I assume there's going to be some sort of service? We'd like to attend if you don't mind."

"Of course we don't mind. Two tomorrow at Arlington."

One at a time, each man placed a gentle hand on Alex's shoulder, uttering one last word of condolence before exiting. When they were gone, Scully spoke to him.

"Alex....it's been a long day for both of us. How about you go into the bedroom and try and get some sleep?"

A few seconds passed before Alex lifted his head. He sniffed, swiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Do me a favor?"

"Sure. What do you want?"

"I want...I want you to go home tonight."

"Y-you do?"

Alex nodded slowly, looking down at the cushion between them.

"May I ask why?"

"I don't know, I just...I...I think I need to be alone."

Scully studied him intently, trying to gain some small bit of insight into his thoughts. "Alex, are you sure? I really don't mind staying."

"I'm sure. Unless you plan on moving in with me, I'm going to have to be alone at some point, right?"

"All right. Of course you're right, but...I'm going to call you in the morning."

Alex nodded.

"Please, get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow's going to be a very long day."

The thought of tomorrow and what he would have to face, sent an icy dagger through Alex's heart.

"Alex..." Scully murmured, noting the look of anguish that crossed his face. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"No," he whispered, taking in long, painful breaths. "No. Please."

Reluctantly, Scully gathered her things and departed, leaving Alex alone with his grief. He wandered from room to room, straightening and cleaning, and when he could do no more, he retreated to the bedroom, undressed, and crawled into bed. He shut the light off and lay in the darkness.

Alone.

From here on out, it was back to the void. Back to hell.

No, that wasn't right. He couldn't go back to a place he'd never been, and he'd *never* been to a hell like this one before. Had never felt pain this deeply. The things he'd done and seen over the years had made him tough...hard, but these months with Fox...the time he'd spent loving and being loved had stripped away the calluses and left him vulnerable. And the agony was twenty times worse than anything he'd ever experienced.

He turned onto his side and curled himself tightly around his lost love's pillow, whispering into its softness.

"Fox...baby, I'm so lonely. I can't...I don't know what do. It hurts so much. It won't stop..." The tears began to slide past his closed eyelids. "It won't let up," he whimpered softly. "It hurts to think...it hurts to breathe...I can't do this. I can't..." The whimpers turned into sobs, growing louder and more labored, until he wore himself out and drifted into sleep.

********************

Eight-thirty five.

There was no way in hell Alex was still asleep. In fact, Scully doubted that he got more than three hours.

She picked up the phone and dialed, hearing three then four rings. The machine picked up, and her knees weakened as Mulder's voice told her that no one was home and to please leave a message. She gathered her wits and called out to Alex.

"Alex. Alex, pick up, it's Scully."

Nothing.

//God, where the hell is he?//

"Alex.....*Alex*."

She cursed softly and hung up. Grabbing her coat, she dashed out the door and headed out to Mulder's apartment.

The soft knock at the door of apartment forty-two went unanswered, and Scully unlocked the door, moving cautiously inside. Except for the soft hum of the aquarium filter, all was quiet. No footsteps, no running water...not a sound.

Scully walked from room to room, making a visual check as she called Alex's name, but turned up nothing. She noted in her search that each room was as neat as a pin. The bed was made, no dishes in the sink...not that she expected there to be any. She hadn't seen Alex eat a thing since he'd shown up at the explosion site in Vermont. She had no idea how he was still standing, let alone taking off to God only knew where.

//He'll be back. He knows the service is at two. He won't miss it. //

She'd like to miss it, though. Attending this funeral for Mulder ranked right up there with her father's and sister's funerals as the worst moments of her life, and she'd give anything in the world not to be doing it. But she would. She owed him that much. There was nothing *more* she could do for him.

A tear formed in the corner of one eye, shimmering there, suspended for a moment before making a lazy path down the curve of her cheek. Just when she thought she could cry no more, another tear followed and still another until a fresh reserve came forth, stinging her already irritated eyes and blurring her vision.

She sat heavily on the sofa, head in her hands, weeping softly. When she was through, she went into the bathroom and ran a washcloth under cold water. Holding it to her eyes, she walked back into the living room and resumed her seat on the sofa.

Ten o'clock came and went. Ten-thirty....eleven...

No Alex.

Now adding worry to her depression, Scully scribbled a note telling him that she would meet him at the cemetery and left it on the coffee table, where she hoped he'd be sure to find it.

"Come on, Alex," she whispered as she exited the apartment, "please show up."

All the way to Mrs. Mulder's hotel, she tried to reach Alex with no luck. By the time she reached the room, her nerves were shot. She took a few shaky breaths and knocked at the door. Seconds afterward, the door swung open, and a pair of tired, brown eyes peered down at her over the tops of the familiar glasses.

"Have you slept at all?"

Scully looked up at Skinner, shaking her head. "So little it isn't even worth mentioning."

"I can see that," he responded. "You look terrible."

"You don't look so great, yourself. How about Mrs. Mulder?"

Skinner stepped aside and motioned Scully in. As she entered, the figure of Tina Mulder came into view. Sitting ramrod straight in a chair by the window, gazing out into the bright, noonday sky but not seeing a thing. Scully approached and softly cleared her throat.

"Mrs. Mulder."

Watery blue-gray eyes turned up to the petite red-head, and the woman gave her a ghost of a smile.

"Thank you very much for making the arrangements, Miss Scully. I...I'm afraid I didn't know my son nearly as well as I should have in his adult years, and I would have had no clue about what to do, who to invite..."

"It's perfectly all right," Scully countered.

The woman looked from Scully to Skinner, then back again. "I do know that he had the utmost respect for the both of you. You were good friends to him..."

Skinner bowed his head, unable to respond.

Scully took the woman's hand and said, voice quavering, "I can't begin to tell you how much...how sorry I am..."

A soft hand covered her own.

"You don't have to try to find the words, dear. I can see it all over your face." Her hand slid away, and she looked back toward the window. "I'd never have dreamed that I would outlive both of my children...Samantha...my beautiful, little girl. So full of enthusiasm. Her rambunctiousness drove me to distraction sometimes...now all I have of her is those memories..."

She took a long, stuttering breath and blinked back the threatening tears. "And Fox. My brilliant, handsome, idealistic son. I was proud of him, you know. I should have told him. He should have known. A child should always know that his parents are proud of him. But I've been so wrapped up in my grief over Samantha all these years, I suppose I forgot a lot of the time that I still had a child who needed my attention and my approval." Her head dropped and her shoulders slumped. "And now, it's too late."

Skinner watched from a distance as Scully sat on the arm of the chair and held the woman while, for the first time since he'd broken the news to her, she cried openly.

When her sobs had finally abated, Mrs. Mulder raised her head and dried her eyes. "It must be near time to go."

Skinner checked his watch. "As a matter of fact, yes. The car should be downstairs in about ten minutes."

The woman nodded and rose from the chair, smoothing her skirt. "I'll just go freshen up, then." She lay a hand on Scully's shoulder in a brief gesture of thanks, then disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the two alone. As soon as the door closed behind her, Skinner came to stand beside Scully.

"Where is Krycek?"

"I don't know."

"You don't *know*?"

"No, sir. I called him earlier, got no answer, and went by Mulder's...the apartment, and he wasn't there. Everything was neat and tidy, but he was gone."

"Maybe he left early for Arlington."

"I told him I was going to call him this morning. And he knew that he and I were going to go together. We talked about it while we were planning the service. We were going to meet you and Mrs. Mulder there."

Skinner looked toward the bathroom door then back at Scully. "I've made no mention of him at all because I had no idea if she knew about him or not. Now, I get the feeling that she's completely ignorant."

"Mulder had never discussed with me whether or not he'd told her. And Alex gave no clues either. I think you're right. I don't think she knows."

"We can't drop this on her, Scully. Not now. She's had enough of a shock..."

Before they could finish their conversation, the door opened and Tina Mulder emerged, composure intact and her head held high.

"I'm ready."

Skinner tossed Scully an apprehensive look then stalked toward the door and opened it. He helped Mrs. Mulder on with her coat, and the three walked out to meet the waiting car.

********************

The group was larger than Scully had thought.

Through television and newspaper, word of Fox's Mulder's death had spread quickly, and the turnout for his funeral was enormous. The faces of people whom she'd recognized but whose names she could not remember dotted the crowd of friends, co-workers and acquaintances, and at the front of the large group, the three most familiar stood, forlorn eyes meeting hers as she approached. She nodded to the Gunmen, and she and Skinner helped Mrs. Mulder into her seat.

"Excuse me just a minute," she whispered to the woman, then made her way over to the three men. "Guys."

They completed a round of hugs, then Langly spoke for the group.

"I can't believe we're here. This is like some horrific nightmare."

Scully nodded, eyes cast downward.

Frohike looked around, noting that one person was missing. "Where's Krycek?"

Scully closed her eyes for a moment then opened and raised them. "I don't know," she whispered. "I'm afraid of where he might be...what he might be doing. He's so unstable right now."

"Who the hell would have thought?" Frohike asked no one in particular. "Alex Krycek..."

"I know," Scully cut him off before he could finish. "I sure as hell didn't believe it at first. But his heart and soul belonged to Mulder, and the agony he's in right now is unbearable." She glanced around the area, searching for the man in question, but to no avail. "I should get back now. But listen. After the service, you three need to meet us back at Mulder's apartment. In the..." she took a deep breath and continued. "In the event of his....death....Mulder wanted a specific group of people to get together after his funeral and hear his last wishes. You three are included in that group."

The men looked at each other, then to Scully. "All right," Langly agreed, speaking for the other two. "Of course, we'll be there."

Scully rejoined Skinner and Mrs. Mulder, who sat dry-eyed throughout the entire service until she was presented with the flag that had draped the empty symbol of her son's passing. She sobbed then, flanked by two who patted and reassured her while fighting to keep themselves together.

When the service had ended and the mourners had departed, the three stood quietly staring at the casket which would be lowered into the ground after they'd gone.

Unable to stand the sight for another minute, Scully was just about to suggest that they depart when movement caught her eye. She watched frozen as Alex stepped out of seemingly nowhere, drifting unsteadily in the direction of the grave. He stopped a few feet away, staring at what lay in front of him, then took the few remaining steps and came to a halt directly in front of gleaming mahogany casket. Scully flinched as she watched him waver, then sink to his knees. She watched his body tremble then begin to rock back and forth...

This wasn't happening. This could *not* be happening.

Alex closed his eyes, willing himself away from here. God, please, anyplace but here. But when he opened them, here was where he remained, on his knees, in front of a casket belonging to, but containing nothing of his beloved Fox.

He seemed to neither see nor hear the three who stood only a few feet away, and when the feather-light touch of Scully's hand came to rest on his shoulder, he gave no response.

"Alex," Scully called to the clearly distraught man. "Alex, come on. Why don't we go home, now?"

Alex lifted his hands to the casket, bracing himself as he continued to rock. He shook his head, choking back a soft whimper.

"I know, Alex. God, I know. But you can't stay. Please..."

Alex again refused to get up, and then another hand touched his arm.

"Krycek..."

Eyes that glowed a hateful green turned up to Skinner, and the older man removed his hand as Alex hissed at him.

"Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. Don't *look* at me." His gaze returned to the casket. "Look at *this*. *You* did this." He shook violently. "We were happy and you couldn't stand it..."

Skinner shook his head. "Krycek, that's not true. I never...you can't ever think I ever wanted *this*..."

"But this is what you *got*. You wanted to keep him away from me. He loved me and you hated it. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever loved..." He leaned against the mahogany box. "...is now *here*. It's all over. One phone call. One minute of disbelief and it's all gone." He closed his eyes and draped himself over the casket. "My beautiful Fox..."

Scully risked a glance at the older woman who stood motionless watching the scene, then again attempted to get Alex to leave with her.

"Alex, don't do this..."

"It's empty," Alex wept against the wood. "Nothing. There was nothing left of him...like he never even existed..."

"But we know better."

Scully stepped aside and watched, more than a bit surprised, as Tina Mulder approached and lay a comforting hand on the sobbing man's shoulder.

"He'll always be with us..."

Alex turned glittering eyes up to the woman. "I can't live on memories."

Mrs. Mulder squatted beside him. "I know you don't think so right now." Her hand moved slowly back and forth across his shoulders. "You're quite a surprise...Alex...I had no idea...but at this point," she shook her head, "I'm glad he had some happiness...some love in his life. He obviously meant the world to *you*."

Alex stared as the tears silently fell.

"The pain will never completely leave you. But it will, in time, become manageable. And one day you'll think of him and smile."

Alex shook his head, knowing that such a time would never come. Not for him.

"Alex," Scully called, taking his hand. "Come with us. We have to go back to the apartment. There's something else we need to do."

"I don't want to do anything," he whispered flatly.

"I'm sorry, Alex, but you have to." Mrs. Mulder rose to her feet, speaking in a commanding tone. "If you loved Fox as much as you appear to have, you *must* come with us. It's what he wanted."

Alex looked from the woman, who had no intention of taking no for an answer, to the casket.

"You said it yourself, dear. He's not in there. Why do you want to stay here and stare at an empty casket?"

Scully watched in shocked silence as Alex rose slowly to his feet and took the woman's outstretched hand. She and Skinner followed at a discreet distance as Tina Mulder led her son's despondent lover away from the gravesite.

Scully drove Alex back in his own car while Skinner and Mrs. Mulder took the limousine back.

Silence prevailed for the first five minutes of the ride, then Mrs. Mulder spoke up.

"What was that between you and the young man?"

//You knew it wasn't going to go by without mention.//

"Suffice it to say, Mrs. Mulder, that there is quite a bit of history involving the four of us."

"You, Alex, my son and Miss Scully?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"From the anger he displayed, I gather it wasn't a good history."

"No. No, it wasn't. I couldn't believe it when I discovered that he and your son had become a couple. Neither could Scully. But Mulder insisted that there was good in him and he had found it. Circumstances being what they were, I couldn't accept it. I was sure that Krycek was using him for some dire purpose." He leaned forward, pressing his hands together. "I was wrong. But I discovered that too late. If I had trusted Mulder's judgement...if I had believed Krycek when he called to tell me that your son was in danger...I might have been able to prevent this..."

The woman frowned, shaking her head in confusion.

"I know I'm telling this to you in bits and pieces, but the long and the short of it is, I was wrong about Alex Krycek's intentions toward your son, and Mulder could very well be gone as a result of my distrust. I can never be sorry enough, Mrs. Mulder. If I had it to do over again...if...if I could go back and change things..."

"But you can't." Mrs. Mulder took in a deep breath. "You're a fair, honorable man. My son always said that about you. If you distrusted this Alex, you must have had very good reason to do so."

"At one time, yes. But no more. I was wrong. Your son told me I was wrong, but I wouldn't hear him."

"Because you wanted to protect him."

"Yes."

He'd never tell her that there was more to the story than that. There was no point. It was his cross to bear, and he'd do so privately.

"But I was *wrong*."

"And your integrity allows you to admit that. Don't blame yourself, Mr. Skinner. It'll eat you up. I don't know that you'll ever be able to mend fences with Alex, but you've got to settle it with yourself. Fox wouldn't want all this misery on his account."

Skinner nodded, looking down at his tented hands. "I know."

"Good. Now fix it."

********************

Everyone who was supposed to be there was already at the apartment when Scully and Alex arrived. Alex looked past Skinner, Mrs. Mulder and the Gunmen to the man who sat at the dining room table with an open briefcase before him. He turned to Scully, eyeing her warily.

"Who is that?"

"The lawyer."

"Lawyer?"

"Yes. Mulder's lawyer."

His brain couldn't function far beyond his grief. "Why is he here?"

"Mulder wanted his will read right after his funeral."

"*Will*."

Scully took his hand to prevent him from bolting. "Yes, Alex. There are things he wanted to say, and the lawyer is here to convey his wishes."

"I..." he shook his head, trying to pull his hand from hers, "..I don't want to hear this...I don't have to be here..."

"Alex, you do. Mulder wanted you and the people you see here together to hear this. Now, come on. The sooner we get started, the sooner it'll be over."

Alex let Scully lead him to the chair at the head of the table and took a seat beside him. Mrs. Mulder, Langly and Frohike also sat, leaving Skinner and Byers to stand.

The attorney bid everyone welcome and extended his deepest sympathy on their loss, then pulled a number of pages from his briefcase.

"On this, the occasion of the passing of Fox William Mulder, I will now read to you his Last Will and Testament..."

Having gone through the formalities, he then pulled out another folder and began to read.

"Hello, everyone. I've obviously died or my attorney wouldn't be reading this to you. I don't know how I went or when, and who is there to listen to this, so I can only speak in the here and now. I've also never done this before, and I have no idea where to start, so I'll just jump right in...

"Langly, Frohike and Byers. Hey, guys. You've been great friends and even better allies over the years. I don't know what I would have done without you. You're the only ones who've never said to me at any time, 'Mulder, you're crazy.' I'm sure you've thought it many times, but you never said it...of course, coming from three guys who are just as crazy as me, I don't know how much water it'd hold anyway. I want you boys to have some stuff. To Frohike, I leave my vast video collection. I know you've had your eye on it for years, and there's no one I'd rather give it to. Byers, I want you to have my telescope. There's nothing more relaxing than a summer night spent looking at the stars. Just don't let Frohike use it to spy on that blonde who lives on the sixth floor across from you guys. Langly...to you I leave all my old superhero comics. I've had them since I was a kid, and I know that no one would appreciate them more than you..."

Langly shifted in his seat. "Aww, *dude*." His gaze fell to the table as Byers cast him a chastising look. "I...I mean...that was really generous of him..."

The lawyer moved on.

"A.D. Skinner. Walter..."

Skinner bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"As a boss, I couldn't have asked for any better. Your professionalism and dedication to duty are unparalleled. I meant what I said that night that I told you I believed that you'd be director someday. As a friend, you've gone above and beyond any reasonable expectation, often putting yourself on the line for me and my causes. You'll never know how grateful I am for that.

"I'm leaving you a picture. You may not recall it at the moment, but when you see it, it should come back to you. We were all at that stupid convention a couple of years ago in Memphis. Remember the director called you into his office, told you that his records showed that somehow you'd managed to avoid every Bureau function, and gave you a direct order to attend? And you were so ticked off about it that in turn you made Scully and me go too? Remember how, in spite of everything, we wound up having a pretty good time at the social on the last night? I've got a picture that the staff photographer snapped of the three of us. Scully made some off color comment about A.D. Weinshull's toupee, and you spit your drink out all over me. The photographer caught us all laughing our asses off and you trying to dry my suit with your tie. That was the first and last time I'd ever seen you laugh. Look at it from time to time, Walt, and remember that you're human, with a human's needs and emotions. Don't be afraid of them. Embrace them and you'll see that sometimes amazing things can happen. Trust me on this, Walt, I know from which I speak."

Skinner pushed away from the wall and moved past the group assembled at the table. He stopped in the middle of the living room, hands in his pockets, staring out at nothing in particular.

Of the seven people in the dining room, five turned their eyes his way, looking on in sympathy. One of the remaining two organized his papers, and the other one sat motionless and silent, head down, eyes cast to the floor.

The attorney cleared his throat softly and continued on.

"Scully..."

Azure eyes welled up at the mention of the name Fox had used so often. Scully could count on one hand the amount of times over the past six years that Mulder ever called her Dana. And in those six years, 'Scully' had become as common to her as her first name.

"...You're a rock. I hope you're not laughing because I mean that sincerely and with the utmost love and respect. You were always there with me. Always the one I could lean on. Even when I insisted on standing alone, you were there standing at the edge of my sanity, waiting to catch me should I topple into the abyss..."

Scully sat, eyes squeezed shut, fighting with every last ounce of strength she possessed to keep her composure. A gentle hand over hers opened her eyes, and she looked across to Tina Mulder who gave her a trembling smile. She returned the gesture and lifted her chin, listening stoically to the rest of her partner's words.

"...We've been through so much together, Scully. So much tragedy has befallen you as a result of your loyalty to me and the X-files, and you've never wavered. I don't know that I deserved such devotion, but I'll be forever grateful for it. And for you. I couldn't have wished for a better friend. I love you, Scully. And I think you know that I wouldn't leave the X-files to anyone but you. I trust you to see the work through, and even though your ideas don't usually gel with mine, I know you'll still treat each case with respect...and hey, Scully? Try not to get too excited, but this also means that you can have my desk..."

A smile curved Scully's lips as tears rolled over them.

"...I know it's a much nicer desk than yours. Just do me a favor, okay? If they should try to stick you with someone else, don't go as easy on them as I went on you. And for God's sake, don't let them touch any of my stuff....well, I guess it's your stuff now, but *still*..."

"*Easy*," Scully whispered, smiling. "Mulder, what were you smoking when you wrote this?"

"Scully, I'm going to talk to you again in a little while, but right now, I have to move on....Mom."

The only remaining Mulder looked up at the mention of her name.

"As I said at the beginning of this, Mom, I'm speaking to you all in the here and now. If this is the version of my will that you're hearing, chances are not much has changed to warrant revision. That in mind, the first thing I want to do is say I love you. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to find Samantha for you, or at least find out for sure what happened to her. I never stopped looking, never stopped trying, but it was never enough. I'm sorry, Mom, I failed you. I would have loved to have been able to bring her home to you. Especially now that I'm gone. I hate the thought of you being all alone. I know we hardly saw each other, but I think there's something to be said about just knowing that someone is around.

"I wasn't sure what I could give you that would have any real meaning for you, then I thought about the summer I took some vacation time and visited you in Rhode Island. Remember I found all those old photo albums in the basement? You told me I could have them since they'd be mine someday anyway. Well, I guess they're yours again. And in addition to that, I've put some money aside for you. Please don't fuss about it; just take it and use it on a nice vacation or something. I'm sorry I haven't got anything more tangible to leave you, but I was never the type to have a lot of 'things'. I have what I need, and that's about it. And speaking of what I need..."

The attorney placed the typed page on top of the pile to his right and picked up a handful of new pages from his left.

"Alex."

For the first time since the group had assembled at the table, Alex showed some signs of life. His head jerked up, and he looked wide-eyed at the attorney.

"God, I knew yours would be the hardest message to write..."

"No," Alex gasped, leaning over, clenching his fingers in his hair. "Don't. Don't read it..."

The attorney stopped, and Scully rose from her seat, coming to squat in front of the shaking man. "Alex," she whispered, lightly rubbing his thigh. "It's okay..."

"*No*." He began to rock, hands still tightly clasped in his hair. "It's not okay. I don't want to hear it...I can't...I can't, Scully."

"Why? You heard the rest..."

"He's saying goodbye," Alex sobbed, rocking faster. "I can't hear it. You weren't supposed to leave me, Fox...you weren't supposed to..."

"Alex, come on..."

"I need more. We were supposed to have years and years together. We were supposed to..."

The group watched in stunned silence, moved by the bereaved man's outburst.

"Alex...Alex, listen to me. If you don't stop this, I'm going to have to sedate you..."

He looked up at her, profound grief shimmering in his eyes. "I don't want to say goodbye," he whispered. "I want him back."

Scully pulled her chair alongside Alex's and sat down, pulling him against her. "I know." She stroked his back and shoulders. "I know you do. I want him back too. But that's impossible. Please, Alex. Let Attorney Brownell finish reading this. No one wants to hear it, but it's what Mulder wanted. Please let's respect his wishes."

When she had calmed Alex enough to continue, she nodded to the lawyer, and he began to read.

"Little more than a year ago, you and I were adversaries. To the world, and to myself, if only on the surface. And now, at this moment, I can't imagine my life without you. You're every beat of my heart, my every breath...which is why I'm not going to sit here and give you the big, 'you've got to be strong, life goes on' speech. I wouldn't want it if our situations were reversed. I wouldn't believe it. And I know that there wouldn't be a thing anyone could say or do that would ease my anguish. I know you like I know me, and I know that this is how you're feeling. No one can help you, baby, though I hope that someone will want to. You've got to work through this on your own. In your own way.

"As I write this, I don't know what happened to end my life. I can only hope it wasn't pointless and *some* good came out of it. I know you don't give a damn right now about whatever or whoever may have benefited from it. I don't know if you ever will. But baby, please try to remember that there are things to be done. The world will not stop because I did. But it might if you don't continue to fight those who seek to steal the future. For all I know, they might have been the ones to steal *our* future. Don't let them win, Alex. Take them down. I know we were going to do it together, and I'm so sorry for whatever it was that happened to change that. But I'm still with you, baby. Think of me, and I'm there. I know that right now that's little consolation to you. Memories and mental images wouldn't be nearly enough for me either. I'd need to touch you. To be able to look into those incredible eyes and put my arms around you.

"You know, there were nights when I lay awake watching you sleep, and my mind would drift. I'd think about lying there alone...about living without you should anything ever happen to take you from me. I know, it was a morbid thing to do, but I couldn't help it. What we do is dangerous, and the risk of one of us getting killed is so much greater than if we were a couple of CPAs. Anyway, I tried to imagine the rest of my life without you, and I couldn't do it. In such a relatively short period of time, you've become everything in the world to me. Our lives are so intertwined I don't think we know anymore where one of us ends and the other begins. I like that. I like the idea of us being so completely connected. Unfortunately, sweetheart, at this moment it's as bad as it is good. I know the emptiness you feel in your heart. I know the hole my departure has left in your soul. But, close your eyes, Alex, and feel me. I'm with you. You just have to believe..."

Shuddering, Alex closed his eyes. A few seconds passed, and he shook his head. "I can't. I can't feel him."

"You're overwrought, Alex," Scully explained softly. "Later. When it's quiet." She looked to the attorney. "I'm sorry. Please continue."

The man gave a somber nod and read on. "Scully, I told you that I'd talk to you again later. Well it's later. If you haven't done so already, please, *please* accept what Alex and I had and recognize his loss. Look at him and know that this is no lie. He's truly suffering. He loves me...as much as you *know* I love him.

"Over the last few months I got the feeling that you might have been starting to come around. You haven't been nearly so impatient with him, and I thought I even saw you smile once while you were watching him yell at me about the mess on top of my desk. Hard to deny his charm, isn't it? You're not making comparisons to rattlesnakes, are you, Scully?"

Scully smiled and lowered her head. "Mulder..."

"Mom, I have to talk to you again, too. I can only imagine how shocked you were when you found out about Alex and me. I'm truly sorry you had to hear it this way, but there's something I need you to understand. I didn't not tell you because I was ashamed of our relationship. I love Alex deeply...completely, with no shame or reservation. I didn't tell you simply because there never seemed to be a good time. I never felt comfortable enough to say anything to you about us. Every time I thought I might, I'd think about how badly you'd most likely react. You and I don't have a very close relationship to begin with, and I thought that if you knew, you'd disown me altogether. And part of a mother is better than none. That's probably unfair of me to say. I don't know you well enough to say how you'd take it. I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry I let you find out this way..."

"No, I'm sorry, Fox," Tina Mulder answered softly, reaching for Alex's hand. "I'm sorry that you felt the need to make so many apologies."

"Forgive me for the interruption, Alex, but I had to speak to my mother and Scully about us, and I thought then would be a good time.

"Baby, I'm leaving you the apartment and everything in it. I'd made arrangements some time ago for you to take over the lease if anything ever happened to me, providing of course that you want to. It's no palace, but you always seemed happy enough to return here to me after being away. You seemed comfortable and content here, and I thought maybe you'd like to stay. I wish there was something more meaningful, more personal to leave you with. All I can give you is all my love and gratitude. Yes, I'm grateful to you, Alex. Because of you I didn't leave this earth never knowing what it was to be in love. You've saved my life so many more ways than I think you realize, and I thank you. And I love you. I may be gone, but my love will always remain. Remember that. Remember me, and I'll always be with you.

"You know, I have no idea how to finish this, so I guess I'll just put an end to my rambling and say thank you to everyone and have a good life."

The attorney gently placed the pages down on the stack and stopped speaking, leaving the room in deafening silence.

Alex sat, eyes closed, head at a slight downward tilt, Tina Mulder on one side of him and Scully on the other. When it was clear that he would say nothing, Scully spoke up.

"Thank you, Mr. Brownell." She looked around the room. "Thanks, everybody. Umm..." She inclined her head, whispering to Alex, "We should invite them to stay for something to eat. Do you mind?"

"I don't care," he replied almost inaudibly.

Scully paused for a second then looked up. "Please stay and have something to eat. Lots of nice people dropped food by yesterday, and the kitchen is full."

Half an hour later, the little group was sitting around the living room picking at the contents of their plates and sharing their favorite Mulder stories. Even Tina Mulder had them chuckling with some her favorite memories of his brief childhood. Scully sat listening and smiling politely, but her attention was divided between the small assemblage and the one who had refused to join them.

Alex sat alone in the same chair he'd occupied during the reading of Fox's will. Hands folded in his lap, head down, it almost looked as though he were deep in prayer. But Scully knew that his mind was far from anything so divine.

Quietly, she snuck away in the middle of Frohike's story about how Mulder and the Gunmen first met and came to sit down beside the motionless man.

"How about something to eat?"

No answer.

"Alex." She placed a hand on his knee. "Alex, come on..."

"I still can't feel him."

"Alex, cut it out. You're going to drive yourself crazy. Now, you haven't eaten anything in days, so far as I can determine. You can't go on like this. I'm going to get you something. What do you want?"

Tormented green eyes closed again. "To be with my Fox."

Completely missing his meaning, Scully emitted a heavy sigh. "I meant food. I'm going to get you some. What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Alex, were you listening to Mulder's words?"

His jaw tightened. "Every word is echoing in my head."

"And don't you think you'd be dishonoring his memory if you don't do what he asked?"

"He also said that he knew I had to do this in my own way."

"Not if your way is starving to death. Now, dammit, Alex..."

A soft knock at the door cut her off in mid-sentence.

When it had become obvious that Alex had no intention of getting up to answer the door, Scully pushed herself out of her seat and went to see who was there. She opened the door and frowned out at the man with dirty-blonde hair and a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look on his face.

"Can I help you?"

"Uh..." The man looked past her at the group in the living room. "N-no. I..I guess I have the wrong apartment..." The man departed quickly, but before he could take ten steps away from the door, a low voice stopped him.

"Kessler."

The small man stopped in his tracks and turned to face the bleary-eyed man standing in the doorway.

Suspicion etched Alex's tired features. "What are you doing here?"

The man looked warily from Alex to the woman standing behind him. "I...uh, I..."

"Alex, you know this man?"

Alex nodded. "Kessler, why are you here?"

The other man approached cautiously, looking around. "I need to talk to you. Privately, though."

Alex's eyes narrowed. "Come in."

Kessler shook his head. "All those people."

"This has got to be important, Kessler, for you to come looking for me. I want to know what it is. We can talk in the kitchen." He turned to Scully. "Scully, would you..."

"I'll create a diversion, and you can slip into the kitchen." Scully turned and walked back into the apartment, heading straight for the window behind Fox's desk. All eyes followed her, and Alex and the other man walked quickly into the kitchen.

"Who was at the door?" Mrs. Mulder asked as soon as Scully turned to face the group.

"Just an acquaintance coming by to extend his sympathies. He couldn't stay."

The older woman nodded then looked around. "Where did Alex go?"

"Oh, I...I finally talked him into eating something. He's in the kitchen."

The conversation resumed, and Scully stood half-listening, wishing that she was part of another conversation...

********************

"What are you doing here?"

The blonde man looked nervously at the door. "You sure nobody's going to come in here?"

"Scully'll keep everyone out. Now, *why* are you here?"

"Only the people and equipment that they *wanted* to be rid of went up with that house. Lieber, the smoker and whatever staff they deemed necessary packed up and got the hell out of Dodge just before they blew that place to kingdom come."

"You were there?"

"No. Obviously, or I might not be *here*. But I know where *they* are. I thought you might like to know, after....after what they did. I'm sorry, Alex. I heard he was there."

A homicidal glint lit Alex's eyes. "Where are they?"

********************

"...I've never seen the Director turn such a vivid shade of purple..."

The crash of the kitchen door startled Skinner into silence, and all six heads turned to watch Alex storm into the hall and toward the bedroom. As they did so, the other man quietly slipped out of the apartment.

"What the hell's that all about?"

Scully pushed herself away from the window. "I don't know. I'll be back in a minute." She quickly followed in Alex's wake, finding the bedroom door closed. Without asking permission to come in, she opened the door and entered to find Alex throwing up the lid to a large black suitcase. She rounded the bed and came to stand behind him. "What the..." She watched in horrified fascination as Alex took stock of his arsenal. "What are you doing?"

"There's something I gotta take care of."

"Alex...*Alex*!" She had to wedge herself between him and the bed to get his attention. "What is it that you've got to take care of with all *this*?"

"That motherfucker is still alive."

"Who?"

"The smoking man. And his Doctor Frankenstein. That explosion was no coincidence. Rumors had begun to surface that Lieber was still alive, and so they had to move him and remove all traces that he'd been there in Vermont. Blowing Fox up with the house was an added bonus."

Scully raised a hand to her forehead. "That man...Kessler...he told you this?"

"Yeah."

"And who is *he*? How do you know you can trust him? How do you know he's not setting you up? I'd be willing to bet that they'd like to see you dead, too."

"I'm sure they would," Alex murmured. "But believe me, Scully. They're all going out before I do."

"Alex, you can't go...where *are* you going?"

"They've got another place in Leesburg. You believe it? Guess they figured that right under our noses was the best place to hide."

"Well, you can't just blast your way in there..."

Alex slammed a full clip into one handgun, put it down on the bed, and reached for another. "Sure, I can."

"After what they did, you don't think they'll be expecting you at some point? You're Alex Krycek. They'll be prepared."

"No amount of preparation in the world is going to save that son of a bitch."

"God...I'm going with you."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I *am*. I want that bastard as much as you do."

"You *can't* come."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do..."

"I'm *telling* you! You stay your ass right here. I do *not* want to be responsible for you..."

"*Responsible* for me? What am I, eight?"

"What the hell's going on in here? We can hear you yelling in the living room."

Both heads turned in the direction of the door.

"Let's see if you can get *this* right," Alex hissed at Skinner as he packed up his weapons and pushed past him. "Keep. Her. Here."

As the younger man disappeared from the room, Scully turned to follow, but Skinner took hold of her arm, spinning her around to face him.

"What's he talking about? And where the hell is he going armed like that?"

"He found out that the smoking man is still alive, and...I don't have time for this. He's going on a suicide mission, and I've got to stop him. Now, please let me go."

"Uh uh. No way. You're not going anywhere..."

"*Sir*..."

"...Not without me. If Krycek needs backup, he's going to need more than just you."

Scully stared up at her superior for a moment, then checked her shock, and the two headed out into the living room.

"What is going on here?" Tina Mulder asked, approaching the two even as they made their way toward her. "Alex came in here, kissed me, thanked me, and flew out of here like someone was chasing him..."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Mulder, but we don't have time to explain. We've got to catch up to Alex before we lose him."

And with those few words from Scully, she and Skinner were out the door and hot on Alex's trail.

********************

Alex's car screeched off of the exit and onto the highway, heading in the direction of Leesburg.

Trying desperately to keep his mind on the task at hand, he increased his speed to almost eighty and thought about the satisfaction he would derive from spattering the walls and soaking the floors with that motherfucker's blood...

An image in his rearview mirror caught his attention and he cursed aloud, seeing that Skinner and Scully were right behind him. Realizing that there was nothing he could do about it now, he drove on, each mile bringing him closer to his revenge.

********************

"I've told you before, I do not allow smoking in my laboratory."

Watery eyes squinted as the man inhaled one last time from his cigarette. The smoke rose in leisurely fashion creating almost a halo-type effect over his head.. "I should think you'd be more generous in my case, after all I've given you...the sacrifices I and others have made to protect you..."

"You protect me because of my work. No other reason."

The man gave the doctor a sickly smile. "How is it coming?"

"It will go a lot better without interruptions. I'm at a critical stage now. The second phase must be initiated within ten hours so that I may proceed with the next step."

"Then why are you not working on it now?"

"There must be a rest period. All the phases cannot be initiated at once."

"Well. By all means, then I won't push you. This is an important project to me, and I want it done perfectly." He dropped the cigarette on the floor and crushed it under his shoe, bringing an angry, red flush to the doctor's cheeks. "I expect to be notified when the second phase is complete." He walked out of the lab, leaving the irritated man to fume over the contamination of his lab.

"Hector!" Lieber screamed as he stalked away. "Hector, where *are* you? My lab must be sanitized!"

********************

 

* * *

 

Not On My Watch IV - Remember Me continued

* * *

Two cars sat unoccupied off the side of a lonely road while three figures picked their way up toward the house indicated in the directions that Alex was given. The structure came into sight, and Alex moved full speed ahead until Skinner's voice brought him to a halt.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you just gonna go through the front door?"

Alex's brows drew down into a deeper frown than the one that had already carved itself into his forehead. He stared at Skinner for all of three seconds, then very matter-of-factly said, "Yeah."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Look, Skinner." Alex walked back, stopping when he was face to face with the other man. "I didn't want you here. I didn't want *either* of you here, but *especially* not you. I don't have time now to screw around with you, so keep that shiny head down, keep Scully covered, and stay the fuck out of my way." He walked away, leaving the other two stunned.

"This is the guy who just a few hours ago was numb with grief?" Skinner rumbled softly to the woman beside him.

Scully nodded as they moved forward, following Alex. "The people responsible for Mulder's death are allegedly in that house. His grief has turned to fury, and I'm afraid we're going to have a real mess on our hands if we don't find them before he does...not that I don't want to kill that smoking bastard myself..."

Skinner said nothing in response as they approached the house. A muffled shot and thud startled them as Alex dropped a guard that they hadn't even seen up on a secondary roof of the house.

"You sure you don't want to go while the getting is good?" he asked, kicking at the man to insure that he was indeed dead. Receiving no answer, he turned and glared at the pair. "He was getting ready to put a bullet right between your eyes, Wally, and you didn't even know it."

Skinner took a deep breath. "We'll be more alert," he offered, double checking his second weapon and cuffs.

Alex watched him, an incredulous expression on his face. "You're not going to need any cuffs."

"No?"

"No."

"Why not?"

The younger man's voice was flat and emotionless, but his eyes glittered with deadly intention. "Nobody's walking out of here."

"I can't let you kill everybody here, Krycek."

"You want to stop me?" Alex asked softly. "Shoot me. But you'd better make sure I don't get up."

No more was said as Alex located and disabled the security system, and the three slipped into the house. They checked room after empty room, and just as Scully was about to suggest that they'd been had, two men dropped out of seemingly nowhere, taking them by surprise. One man grabbed her from behind, and the other easily snatched the gun out of her hand.

"Drop your weapons," the armed man instructed.

Alex and Skinner stood their ground, guns pointed at the two guards.

"Do it, or my friend'll snap her pretty neck."

"You're wrinkling the lady's blouse. Let her go," Alex said softly, "and I might consider killing you both quickly."

The man smiled. "You *must* be Alex Krycek. Nobody else would be so arrogant in a situation like this."

"Oh, you've heard of me?"

"We know all about you."

"Good. Then you know there's no way you're going to get out of this alive."

Before the man could draw another breath, the one holding Scully had dropped to the floor, a bullet between his eyes. All he had time for was a look of horror, and he was joining the first man, the blood quickly gushing from his throat.

Paying no more attention to the two, Alex stepped toward Scully, who stared dazedly down at the dead men.

"Are you all right?"

She nodded in silence.

"That was a hell of a chance you took, Krycek."

Alex looked over at Skinner with an expression that said he'd almost forgotten the other man was there. "You don't get it, Wally. These assholes aren't looking to bring us in alive. He *would* have killed Scully whether we surrendered or not."

Without another word, he spun and stalked off in the other direction, eyes continuously scanning for more traps and guards.

********************

As the fifth man fell, word had reached the smoking man that Alex Krycek was in the house, and he wasn't taking any prisoners.

"Idiots!" he hissed at the frightened man who had come in to tell him. "We spent time and money training you people. Why is it none of you can contain this man?"

Even as he asked the question, he knew the answer. Aside from Krycek's innate abilities, he was now also a man with nothing to lose. Taking Fox Mulder from him had made him ten times more dangerous. But the smoker had hoped that these new men...these people he'd spent so much money training would prove to be a deterrent against their prototype. No such luck. Now, he must make a decision and make it quickly.

Abandon Lieber and their project to save his own skin, or take the time to try and make it to the lab to get the man and the evidence before death found either of them.

One last long drag on his cigarette and the decision was made.

Better to live to fight another day.

********************

Alex had split off from Scully and Skinner, giving them one more warning to watch their asses, and he went in search of his targets.

Along his way, four more men fell, and when he reached the wide corridor to a wing of the house that most likely housed the lab, he met up with the most resistance he had encountered thus far.

Three determined men burst through the door in front of him and opened fire. Alex dove behind a celadon-colored divan, returning their barrage.

Having no place to hide, the men dropped quickly, one by one. When all was quiet and the cream carpet was stained a deep crimson, Alex stood and walked toward the bodies, searching each for weapons and a key to the door which would certainly be locked.

As he had finished searching one body, a soft moan caught his ear. He turned, narrowing his eyes on the other two bodies. Both appeared motionless, but further inspection revealed that one was still breathing, though just barely. He moved over to that man, staring down at him.

Dark eyelashes fluttered and a hollow blue stare attempted to focus on the face that floated above. The coppery taste of blood filled the man's mouth as it began to move, spilling its warm contents.

"Alex, move."

Alex looked up from the dying man into Scully's face. "He's dead."

"Not yet, he isn't; now move and let me see what I can do..."

Alex stared up at her, cocking his head to one side. He looked back down at the man, placed his gun to his forehead, and before Scully could voice her objection, pulled the trigger. He looked back up into her stunned face.

"I told you, he's dead." He searched the body and, producing a key, rose to his feet and moved to the door. "Where's Skinner?"

"Right...God." Skinner moved into the hall, scowling down at the bloody scene. "What the hell..."

Scully simply shook her head as Alex tried the lock and opened the door.

"What does this lead to?"

"The lab," Alex threw back at Scully as he strode into the outer room, turning over furniture and everything else that wasn't nailed down, seeking out his quarry. Turning up nothing, he tried the only other door in the room. Finding it locked, he tried the key, but the wooden structure would not yield. He backed up a few steps and kicked the door open, splintering it in its frame. His eyes scanned the room, seeing nothing but equipment, but someone was here. He could smell the fear.

Taking another moment to scan the room, he focused on a locker-style cabinet and stalked toward it as Scully and Skinner searched the rest of the room. He swung the door open and hauled the terrified doctor out, throwing him into the middle of the room.

"Please," the man practically screamed, hands shaking as he held them out in front of him. "Please don't kill me."

"Alex," Scully said softly to the man who held his gun trained on the doctor's head. "Alex, don't. Let's take him in. This man has a lot to answer for from what I see here. Maybe he can lead us to the rest..."

"I...I can't," the man whimpered. "I don't know anything outside of what happens here in the lab..."

"You might as well roll over," Alex spat at the man. "If you think your benefactor is going to get you out of this somehow, you're sadly mistaken. I know him. He's got a yellow streak a mile long. He's *gone*. Left you to take the all the heat."

"He...he wouldn't," the doctor said, anger tingeing his voice. "I'm too important. My *work* is too important."

Alex laughed bitterly. "Not if it means *his* ass. I know all that he's sacrificed to keep your sick experiments going. Money...property...his own people..." Alex cocked his weapon. "My Fox..."

"Krycek..." Skinner took a step forward. "Krycek, secure your weapon. This isn't going to help..."

"Maybe not," Alex said flatly, steadying his aim. "But it won't hurt."

Two men burst into the room, and everyone took cover in the hail of bullets. In the few seconds it took to put them down, Lieber had made his way to a desk and reached into the top drawer. Skinner saw him pull a gun out, aiming it at Alex, and the A.D. fired, pumping two rounds into the man's chest.

Alex and Scully spun around just in time to see the doctor slump over the desk, blood staining the white blotter under him. They looked from the gun in his hand over to Skinner.

"He was aiming right at you," he said to Alex, shock registering in his tone, then looked to Scully. "I had no choice."

An expression crossed Alex's face, so completely peculiar and altogether frightening it made Scully shudder. She waited for him to say something, but not a word passed from his lips.

Skinner said something in Scully's ear, and she turned back toward the silent man. "Alex." She drew nearer, touching his arm. "Let Skinner clean this up. The doctor is dead, and you said it yourself; Cancerman is probably miles away from here by now. We've gone through every room in the house...there's no one else. Why don't you let me take you home now?"

The savage glint had gone from his eyes, leaving only wretched sorrow and weariness. "I...I just want to sit for a while." Securing his gun, he rested it on the desktop and lowered himself to the oak surface, staring down at the floor.

"Okay. Okay, you rest a minute, then we'll go."

"Alone, Scully." Alex looked up at the woman who stood mere inches from him. "Please? I just need a minute to myself. Go wait outside. I...I'll be there soon."

Red eyebrows drew down into a distinct frown. "Alex..."

"Please." The word came out in a whisper so soft she almost didn't hear it.

"All right. But if you're not out in ten minutes, I'm coming back in to get you, do you understand?"

Alex nodded and looked up at the man watching from the doorway. No words were spoken between them, but somewhere in the look they exchanged, an understanding...a truce of sorts seeped through.

Scully passed between Skinner and the shattered door, and the A.D. followed, leaving Alex sitting amid the litter of bodies. He looked at the two on the floor and the one behind him still slumped over the desk and released the safety on his gun.

********************

"We shouldn't have left him alone," Scully lamented as she walked beside Skinner out the front door. "He looks so despondent. I think I'm going to go back."

"He only asked for a few minutes, Scully, what do you think he's going to do? It's not like there's anyone left to kill."

Scully stopped dead in her tracks, staring wide-eyed at her superior. "God...yes there is."

********************

Alex lifted the gun, staring at the black metal.

For years, his only friend. All he could depend on...many times, all that stood between him and certain death.

And now, it would perform one last service for him.

His mouth curved into an ironic little smile.

//How the hell else did you expect it to end? You didn't really think you'd get go grow old with him, did you? You had to know that something would happen sooner or later to fuck it all up.//

A tear formed and spilled from one eye.

//But not this. God, why this? He didn't deserve it. The world needed him. I needed him.//

He turned the weapon, now staring down the length of the barrel.

//I'm sorry, baby. I can't stay. I think you know I can't. Wait for me. I'll be there soon.//

His head turned, and he tuned in to the brief, faint sound coming from someplace not so far away.

He listened intently but did not hear the soft clink again. Still, his hearing was too finely tuned to dismiss the sound as nothing.

He rose from the table, weapon poised, and began looking around.

There it was again.

His eyes narrowed on the very cabinet he'd pulled Lieber from. Striding over to it, he looked inside, quickly finding a latch. He opened the back panel and found himself looking at a narrow door.

//Shit. Cancerman?//

//No, you couldn't be that lucky.//

But somebody was making noise in there.

Gingerly, he opened the door and found himself in another corridor. The clinking sounded again, and this time he knew he was on the right track. He stole quietly down the dimly lit hall and stopped in front of the first of three doors. Quickly, he kicked it open and ventured inside, gun first.

Nothing. A tiny, completely empty, windowless room.

The second room revealed little more. A chair, a toilet, and a bed frame, and that was all.

By process of elimination, the third room must be the one where the survivor or survivors were hiding.

He stood listening for a moment, then kicked the door in, gun at the ready. What he found nearly made his knees buckle.

This room, small and windowless like the first two, also contained a chair and toilet, but there was an entire bed in this one, and chained by the wrists to one post, curled against the headboard, there was a man. Clad in blue hospital scrubs, days worth of stubble covering his face...amber-flecked eyes wide with fright...

Alex stumbled to the bed, letting his gun fall to the mattress. He leaned over the shivering man, trembling hand tenderly petting the limp, golden-brown hair.

"Fox..." The vision before him blurred as tears glazed his eyes. "Oh, God, Fox. My baby..."

Fox flinched away from the touch, whimpering softly, and panic seized Alex.

"Fox, look at me. Come on, baby. It's Alex. Please, look at me." His pleas brought no response, and the panic deepened. "What the hell did they do to you?"

"Alex!"

The faint sound of Scully's voice snapped his head around. "Scully! God...I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry," he apologized as Fox wedged himself closer to the headboard. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'll be right back." He took the time to remove his jacket and drape it over the shivering man before bolting out into the little hall.

"Alex, where are you?"

"I'm here! There's a secret doorway in the cabinet I took Lieber from."

"*What*?" Scully appeared in the doorway, looking around in shock. "Alex, what the..."

"Scully, come on! I need you!"

Scully watched as Alex disappeared into a room, and she followed quickly, her mouth almost hitting the floor as she entered.

"Oh, my *God*. Mulder..." She rushed over to the man on the bed, dropping down beside him. "Mulder?"

"They did something to him," Alex rasped as he worked at picking the locks on the cuffs. "He's scared to death. He won't talk. It's like he doesn't recognize me."

"Mulder?" Scully gently turned Fox's face toward hers. "Mulder, can you hear me?"

Alex freed Fox's hands, and he pulled the jacket around himself, not allowing either of them to touch him.

"Fox," Alex called softly, wiping away his tears as they fell. "Sweetheart, it's us. It's Alex and Scully. Don't you know us?" He looked up from the unresponsive man's face to Scully. "We gotta get him out of here."

Scully nodded. "Go find Skinner. Let me see if I can do a cursory exam."

"All right. I'll be back, Fox. Please let Scully look at you." He caressed the older man's hair. "Okay?"

As Alex ran from the room, Scully tried to gently pry his jacket away from Fox. "Come on, Mulder, let me have a look at you."

Fox tightened his hold on the jacket, refusing to let her take it from him.

"Mulder," she called softly, holding back the flood of tears that threatened to spill over. "Mulder, please. I'd never hurt you. I need to see if you're injured anywhere. Please..." Seconds later, she managed to wrestle the leather away and ran her hands over the squirming man. Noticing he was especially protective of his arms, she coaxed him to let her have a look. She closed her eyes, cursing softly. "Oh, God, Mulder..."

********************

"Skinner!"

"I've been looking all over for you!" Skinner bellowed as Alex came into view. "Where's Scully?"

"Call for an ambulance."

"What? Why? Did something happen to her?"

"No," Alex called over his shoulder as he turned back in the direction that he came. "It's not for her."

"Then, who?"

Alex broke into a sprint. "Fox!"

********************

"Alex, they've been injecting him with something. He's got needle marks in both his arms. That's probably what's induced this psychosis, whatever it is."

Alex approached the bed carefully, afraid to frighten Fox again. "God, I wish there was somebody left to kill," he said softly, sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"You *did* say Fox!"

Alex and Scully each held up a hand as the A.D. stormed in the direction of the bed.

"Easy," Scully murmured. "He's frightened enough."

"Of us? What the hell's going on? Mulder..."

"He doesn't recognize us," Alex said, his palm whispering over the back of Fox's hand. "They did something to him."

Skinner approached cautiously, standing before the two men. "Mulder?"

No reaction.

"God, it's good to see you. We thought you were dead."

Fox clutched the jacket to himself, saying nothing.

Skinner winced, taking in the image before him.

Mulder, rumpled and unshaven...Christ, but alive...terrified of God only knew what, and Krycek, ecstatic that his lover was still alive but worried to death about his condition...stroking him tenderly and crooning soft words of comfort to him. Skinner closed his eyes and dropped his head, for the moment unable to face this thing that was quite likely his doing.

"Is the ambulance on its way?"

Scully's words startled him, and he turned in her direction. "Yeah. They said fifteen minutes."

What seemed to Alex like an eternity later, the ambulance arrived.

Fox fought the E.M.T.s, not wanting to be touched or moved, but finally, under Alex's strict supervision, they got him out of the room and into the ambulance. Almost ready to depart, the men each grabbed an arm and tried to restrain him. He struggled against their attempts and, for the first time since Alex had found him, uttered an intelligible word.

"No....n-*no*..."

"Stop it," Alex pushed their hands away. "Leave him alone. You're upsetting him."

"Mister, *everybody* we gotta restrain is unhappy about it. You saw the hard time we had just getting from the house to here."

Again the man reached for Fox's arm and immediately found the muzzle of a gun in his face. "I said," Alex warned softly, "no restraints."

The man drew back, never taking his eyes off of the gun. "L-look, I know you law enforcement types look out for your own, but..."

//Law enforcement?//

Alex shrugged and went with it. "He'll be fine. No restraints."

"Okay. Okay."

The object of the exchange watched quietly, his eyes coming to rest curiously on the tall, green-eyed man who seemed to have taken on the role of his protector.

Alex put his gun away and settled himself by Fox's stretcher. His eyes met those which continued to stare up at him.

"It's okay," he reassured Fox, lightly covering the older man's hand with his own. "They're not going to tie you down. I promise."

The ride to the hospital was a relatively uneventful one, and when they reached the hospital, Alex escorted Fox as far as the emergency examining room, but the doctor insisted that he wait outside while Fox was checked out. While he paced up and down, Scully walked in.

"Where is he?"

"In there," Alex indicated to Scully with a toss of his head. "They won't let me be with him..."

"Hospital rules, Alex..."

Before Scully could finish, a ruckus arose from inside the examining room.

Not giving a damn about protocol, Alex burst into the room, closely followed by Scully, to find two male nurses trying to hold Fox down while the doctor attempted to draw some blood.

"Wait...*wait*!" Alex yelled, pushing his way to the bed. "Let him go!"

"Sir, you can't be in here!"

"Listen to him!" Scully told the doctor as she moved toward him. "The needle is frightening him."

"Who are *you*?"

"I'm his doctor. He's been injected with something...a number of times, and it appears to have done something to his mind. He doesn't seem to know anyone, and he's frightened to death of being restrained and of needles. Now, please." Scully motioned to Alex. "Let him see if he calm him."

The nurses backed away at the doctor's instruction, and Alex took a seat at the edge of the bed. "Fox." He laid a soothing hand on the agitated man's shoulder. "Fox, look at me."

Wild, gilded eyes stared up at him. "No needle."

Alex shook his head, gently pushing the hair away from Fox's forehead. "No, Fox. Listen to me. They're not going to inject you with anything, I *promise*. They just want to take a little blood so they can figure out what those men put in you."

Fox eyed him doubtfully.

"Trust me. I didn't let them restrain you in the ambulance, right? I swear, nobody's gonna hurt you. I won't let them."

Fox looked from Alex to the doctor and Scully, who stood waiting at a distance. His gaze came back to Alex then dropped to his own hands resting in his lap. "Okay."

A smile of relief curled Alex's lips. "Thank you. As soon as we figure out what they did to you, we'll know how to treat you."

The doctor stood silently for a moment then, determining that the patient was calm, he cleared his throat.

"All right, sir, thank you. His doctor may stay, of course, but you're going to have to wait outside."

Alex shot the man a withering glare, then turned back to Fox, the hostility gone in an instant. "I'll be right outside, but Scully'll be here. She won't let them hurt you."

A look crossed Fox's face that gave Alex the impression that he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. The younger man gave him another reassuring smile and squeeze of his hand and vacated the room, leaving him with the woman who had just claimed to be his physician. She approached the bed as the doctor prepared to take his blood.

"How're you feeling?"

Fox shrugged.

"Come on," Scully coaxed good-naturedly. "I know you can talk. I heard you."

He winced as the needle slid into his vein. "What's happening? Why do you seem to know me but I don't know you?"

"Because, Mulder...the people who've had you the last few days...they did something to you. Something to erase your memory. Or at least suppress it. We'll know better when we're able to do some tests."

Fox looked down at his hands for a moment, then back up at the pretty red-head. "Why do you call me Mulder and he calls me Fox?"

"Mulder is your last name. Fox is your first. You're not really overly fond of Fox. Only Alex and your mother are allowed to use it."

A slight frown creased his brow. "Then, is he my brother?"

//Oh, boy.//

"Mulder, let's save all the questions for later, okay? Let's just get you all checked out and up to a room, then maybe we can talk."

He fell silent, letting the staff poke and prod for a while, then spoke again. "That bald man said you all thought I was dead..."

Scully smiled to herself but allowed the amusing observation to pass.

"Come on, Mulder, we're almost done here. Then you can ask all the questions you want."

Twenty minutes later, Scully came out to get Alex who had remained right outside the doors, wearing a hole in the tiles.

"Well?"

"He checks out okay. A little dehydrated, but that's all."

"That's *all*? He doesn't know us!"

"Well, yeah, there's that."

Alex growled down at her. "What's *wrong* with him?"

"We won't know until the tests come back. I've come to tell you they're taking him up to a room. You go with him; I'm going to join the doctor in the lab."

Alex spun toward the examining room, but before he could make it to the doors, Scully stopped him.

"He's asking questions, Alex. He seems rational enough to take the truth, but tread lightly." She smiled at the anxious man. "I didn't have to tell you that."

He returned her smile and entered the examining room, finding the orderly preparing to take Fox up to his room.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Fox said softly. "Confused."

"I know," Alex replied, stroking the other man's hair. "We're going to see what we can do to fix that."

They took the back elevator up to the third floor ward, and, as soon as Fox was settled in his private room, he began asking questions.

"I want to know who I am."

Alex pulled up a chair and sat close to his lover's bedside. "You're Fox Mulder. You're an agent with the FBI."

Fox sat quietly, waiting for more.

"You live in Alexandria. Not too far from here. Uh...Scully...she's your partner. Has been for six years. The other man you saw is Skinner. He's your boss..."

Fox watched the other man carefully, noting that he avoided introducing himself.

"You work within a special unit...hell, you *are* the special unit..."

"Who are you?"

Alex stopped, almost choking on the words he bit off. "I...I'm Alex."

"I know your name. I've heard Scully use it. But who are you to me?"

"There you are."

Both men turned their attention to the door where the hulking form of A.D. Skinner loomed. He stepped into the room and spoke to Alex before turning his attention on the man in the bed.

"Everything is secured at the house."

Alex nodded.

"So, Mulder," he began, never letting his eyes rest for long on the man in the bed, "I heard your voice as I was walking toward the room. I guess you're feeling better."

"I'm all right," Mulder answered warily, sizing up the new presence. "You're my boss?"

Skinner shot Alex a curious look.

"He still doesn't remember anything."

A look of regret crossed the older man's face, and he stepped forward. "Yeah. I'm your boss."

Fox nodded. "You thought I was dead?"

"Yeah."

"For how long?"

"A few days."

Fox watched out of the corner of his eye as the man called Alex closed his eyes and lowered his head. His attention came back to Skinner, and he shrugged. "Gonna make me make up the work?"

The smile that lit the other man's face should have surprised and delighted him. Instead, he just watched in mild fascination. "Is that funny?"

Skinner couldn't wipe the smile away. "It's just so like you. It was good to hear."

"Oh." Fox looked to the other man who still had his head down. He hesitated, unsure of whether or not to ask, then the words just spilled forth. "Are you all right?" He could see a smile form, and Alex looked up at him.

"I'm fine."

He wanted to ask Alex if he was so fine, then what was with the bright glaze over his eyes, but decided against it. This was already too much to take in, and they'd hardly told him a thing.

Alex watched Fox lift a hand to his forehead, and he pitched forward in his seat, placing a hand on the bed. "Fox?"

The older man removed his hand and opened his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Fox shook his head. "Really tired, all of a sudden. My head is starting to hurt."

Alex rose from the chair and came to sit at his lover's bedside. "Close your eyes, then. I want you to go to sleep."

"I want to talk," Fox protested. "I hate this feeling of not knowing..."

"I know," Alex soothed, "but there's all the time in the world for questions. Right now, you need rest."

Fox looked apprehensively around the room then back into damp, green eyes.

"What is it?"

"When I woke up there, I was always sick and cold."

Alex frowned and sighed softly. "Did you sleep after they injected you?"

Silent nod.

"You were more than likely feeling the effects of whatever they put in you. Nobody's going to do that to you here."

Fox studied the man, chewing nervously on his lower lip.

"Trust me, Fox. Nobody's going to do anything that'll hurt you. They'd have to come through me first."

"And that's harder than trying to get through six heavily-armed guards."

Fox glanced over at the other man, almost forgetting until hearing his voice that he was still in the room. The statement made him even more curious, but for some reason, he believed it.

"Come on, close your eyes."

Fox looked back to Alex then slowly let his eyelids fall. Minutes later, he was asleep.

Alex sat quietly, unwilling to take his eyes off the miracle that lay sleeping not more than two feet away. He reached out, letting his fingers whisper over the golden-brown strands of his Fox's hair.

"Tell me I'm not going to wake up and find out that I've been dreaming."

Skinner moved closer. "I was just thinking that same thing."

"A few hours ago," Alex whispered softly, afraid of waking the exhausted man, "my life was over. It was all done. And now, here it is." A few tears escaped his eyelids. "And he doesn't know me."

"He will," Skinner reassured him. "As soon as Scully figures out what they gave him, she'll know what to do to bring him back."

Alex turned his head to face the other man. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful. Jesus, I can never be thankful enough. But what if he never remembers?"

"Then he'll just have to get to know you all over again."

"And what if he doesn't fall in love with me the second time around?" He gave Skinner a pained grin. "Maybe you'll get lucky after all."

Skinner shook his head. "Not a chance. It's just his memory that's been erased. His personality seems intact. He's the same man, Krycek. The same man who loves you deeply." Sad eyes fell to the motionless form. "He'll always be yours."

Alex stared for long seconds, amazed that he and Walter Skinner would ever be sitting together in the same room, let alone discussing his love life. His gaze slipped away and returned to the sleeping man. "We've got to call his mother."

"Oh, damn. With all the excitement, I forgot about her." Skinner pulled out his cell phone and dialed Fox's number. The phone rang three times, and a tired woman's voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Mulder, it's Walter Skinner."

"Mr. Skinner, what is going on? We've been worried to death about you since you left."

"The Gunmen are still there?"

"Yes. They didn't want to leave me alone."

"Please thank them for me, and accept my apologies. We've been very busy..."

"Doing what? Did you find Alex? Is he all right?"

"He's fine, ma'am. Mrs. Mulder, I need to tell you...it's going to be quite a shock, but...are you sitting?"

"Yes. Mr. Skinner, you're starting to worry me."

"No. Please don't be. It's wonderful news...I'm at a hospital not all that far from you."

"A *hospital*?"

"Yes...with your son."

"My...."

"Mrs. Mulder? Mrs...."

"Skinner?"

"Yeah. Who's this?"

"Frohike. What the hell is going on? Mrs. Mulder is pale as a ghost."

"Is she all right?"

"She looks like she's in shock. What'd you tell her?"

"Mulder is alive."

"*What*?"

"It's a long story, but we've got him in the hospital. Do me a favor and get Mrs. Mulder here, okay?" Skinner gave directions to Frohike then disconnected. "They're on their way. The poor woman is in a state of shock."

"She'll be better once she sees him," Alex answered, watching the steady rise and fall of Fox's chest. Although the movement soothed and reassured him, he still felt the need to touch his lover's hair...his arm. Just for contact. Just to prove to himself that this was not a dream. His eyes closed as his fingertips fluttered over Fox's forearm, recognizing instantly the texture of his skin. "He *feels* real..."

A gentle hand on his shoulder lingered only until he turned and looked up into Skinner's face.

"I'm dying for some coffee. You want anything?"

Alex shook his head and returned his gaze to his slumbering love.

"You should have *something*, Krycek. Scully's worried that you haven't eaten in days. I know you don't want to get sick *now*. Mulder's going to need you, and you can't help him if you're not firing on all eight cylinders."

Alex release a conciliatory sigh. "Okay. Just get me whatever."

Skinner nodded and exited, leaving Alex time to run through the horrid, shattering events of the last few days. He shuddered as he saw himself bursting into the trailer in Vermont and Scully delivering the news that the only thing that had ever meant anything to him was gone. He recalled the blackness that had enveloped him and the consuming desire to sink deeper into that dark world, never to return. He would have done just that only a few hours ago if Fox struggling against his chains hadn't attracted his attention.

Now, here they were. And even with Fox lying here in front of him, alive and for the most part well, the happy ending was in peril.

Alex leaned forward, resting his head next to the unconscious man's. He watched the occasional flutter of the golden-brown eyelashes and relaxed pout of the absurdly beautiful lips, and he ached. He ached with the joy of feeling his love so near and with the agony of knowing that this was as close as he might ever get again.

********************

Scully entered the hospital room to find two men asleep and one watching them, almost hypnotized by the sight.

"How long has he been out?"

Skinner blinked, shaking himself out of his trance. "I came back in with something for him to eat, and he was asleep. That was..." he looked at his watch. "A little over two hours ago."

"God, he's exhausted. I don't know if we should wake him or not."

"I think he'll be pretty ticked off to find out that you came in with some news and *didn't* wake him right away."

"Yeah, I suppose. Besides," she said, tilting her head to one side. "if he stays in that position much longer, he's going to be pretty sore."

"I've slept in much stranger positions."

Two sets of eyes turned toward the bed where Alex was sitting up and stretching.

"What have you found?"

"Obviously a creation of the good doctor Lieber..."

"Oh, my God."

Scully cut off her explanation, and all three looked in the direction of the door. There, Tina Mulder stood, ashen and shaking, eyes trained on the sleeping man.

"Fox..."

Skinner was at her side in an instant, taking her slowly toward the bed. "He's all right, Mrs. Mulder. But he's very, very tired. We're trying not to wake him."

The woman came to stand at the edge of the bed, taking Alex's hand and staring down into the pale face of her son. "What happened? Where was he?"

Alex gave her the short version of events, conveniently leaving out the gorier details, and by the time he was through, Mrs. Mulder had to be lowered into a chair, where she sat and wept softly.

"Thank God. Thank you, God, for bringing him back." She turned watery eyes up to Alex. "And thank you. If it wasn't for you going to that house, he might never have been found."

Alex lowered his eyes, quiet for a moment, then looked up at Scully. "You were starting to tell us about what you discovered."

"Yeah. Mrs. Mulder, I was just starting to tell them that Mulder has been injected with a combination of drugs to induce memory loss. We've been able to identify all but one component. I'm going back to the lab to see if I can't come up with some clues."

"What's the importance of identifying this component?"

Scully turned to Skinner. "We can't proceed safely with treatment without it."

"So, his memory will never return if you don't identify that last drug?"

Skinner risked a quick glance at Alex. The younger man sat, listening stoically for his answer as his hand rested over Fox's.

"I...I don't know, Alex," Scully answered honestly. "You know I'll do everything I can."

Skinner's regard moved from Alex to Tina Mulder. "Are Frohike and the others here?"

"Yes. They're in the waiting room."

"Scully, why don't you take them with you? Maybe they can be of some help."

Scully nodded and walked over to the older woman, squeezing her hand. "We'll figure this out, Mrs. Mulder."

The woman smiled through a haze of tears. "I know you will."

Scully took a few steps forward until she was standing directly in front of the bed. "Don't worry," she whispered to Alex and dropped a light kiss on his cheek, then did the same to Fox. She straightened up, addressing the whole group. "I'll be in touch."

When she was gone, Tina Mulder rose from her chair and made her way back over to the bed. "He'll be fine," she reassured Alex, petting the sable hair.

"We've had one miracle," he whispered to her. "What right have we got to expect another?"

"I don't know, dear. But it never hurts to hope."

********************

"Oh, you have *got* to be kidding me."

"Are you sure we're at the right house?"

"Positive." Scully banged her hands on the steering wheel. "Sonofabitch!"

She jumped out of the car with the three men in close pursuit and found the nearest policeman. Shoving her badge in his face, she identified herself and asked what the hell was going on.

"I don't know," the officer shouted above the wail of a siren. "It just...it *blew*."

"When?"

"Not more than half an hour ago. We've got four men unaccounted for."

Someone shouted the officer's name, and he excused himself, running toward the sound.

"I can't believe this," Scully mumbled staring at the wreckage of the house she'd been in not more than a few hours ago. "There goes our best hope of identifying that last drug."

********************

Wary, hazel eyes watched the woman as she sat at the edge of the bed, staring down at her hands. She looked up and was startled to find Fox awake and looking at her.

"Oh, my goodness, Fox."

"Are you my mother?"

She smiled even as tears stung her eyes. "Yes, sweetheart. You really don't know me at all?"

Fox shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"No." The woman covered his hand with her own. "Don't you be sorry. I've heard enough apologies from you to last the rest of my life."

Her son stared at her curiously.

"Never mind, honey. It isn't your fault you don't remember. But your partner is out trying to find the answer to making you better."

Fox's attention drifted from the glassy blue eyes that looked so lovingly on him, scanning the room, then coming to rest on the man who was asleep in the chair nearby.

"He hasn't left here, you know. And I really don't think anyone can make him. But he needs rest, and he needs to eat. Maybe if you told him, he'd do it. He loves you so much."

Golden-brown eyebrows drew down into a frown. "Loves me?" He looked up at her. "Please tell me."

"Tell you what, dear?"

"I asked him, but then that other man...Skinner came in. Then Scully came in..."

"What did you ask him?"

"What is he to me?"

Tina Mulder cocked her head. "I thought you would have been told by now, I'm sorry. I...I think I should leave that conversation for the two of you."

"No. No, please," Fox whispered, taking care not to wake the other man. "I don't want to wait anymore. Please tell me."

The woman could not resist the pleading look in her son's eyes. "Well, I don't know what you refer to each other as, but he's your boyfriend, I guess I could say. I'm sorry, I'm not really up to date on the current term for it."

"You mean, we're..." He looked back to Alex. "...gay?"

His mother smiled. "Knocked me for a bit of a loop, too. I had no idea until today." She looked at her watch. "Yesterday. Apparently you've been together for several months."

Fox continued to stare at the sleeping man. "You said he loves me?"

"Very, very much."

"Do I love him?"

"From the tone of your will..."

"My will?"

"Oh, Fox, this is all too much for you to swallow right now. Why don't you wait..."

"No, please. My will?"

"We were sure you were dead, honey. The proof...we had a funeral then went back to your apartment for the reading of your will. Your letter to Alex was so heartbreaking, and it left no doubt in my mind that you adored him."

"I don't understand. If you all thought I was dead, how did they find me?"

"Alex got a tip on the whereabouts of the men who had supposedly killed you. He took off to find them...to avenge your death, I assume. Your boss and partner followed him, and they found you. Well, Alex found you from what I was told. Thank God."

Fox stared at her for a while then looked back at Alex. "I didn't know what it was...the way he looked at me. The tone of his voice when he talked to me...and he was so protective." He shook his head and looked away. "I don't know what to do. How to act with him...with any of you."

"It's all right, sweetheart. We understand. Alex understands. We're just so thankful that you're alive, and you're well. I can't tell you what the last couple of days have been like for us." She looked to the man in the chair. "And poor Alex. He was shattered. He took it so hard, Fox. We were all so very worried about him."

Before she could continue, a soft moan drew their attention.

Alex stretched then sat bolt upright in the chair as though he had been frightened. His anxiety eased as soon as Fox came into focus. He blinked, looking at his watch, then rose from the chair.

"It's late," he whispered to mother and son. "Mrs. Mulder, why don't you let me see about getting you someplace to sleep?"

The woman sighed softly. "Thank you, Alex, but Mr. Skinner got us rooms at the motel directly across the street. He came in to let me know some time ago. I wanted to stay a while, though."

Fox glanced up at Alex then back to his mother. "You look really tired. You should go get some sleep."

The woman nodded. "I am exhausted. I think some rest would do me good."

"I'll walk you to your room," Alex offered.

As Mrs. Mulder rose, Alex got her coat and draped it over her shoulders.

"I was really hoping to hear from Miss Scully," she said, sliding her arms into the sleeves.

"I'll let you know as soon as there's something to report." Alex slipped his jacket on and waited while Fox's mother said goodnight to him.

"Go back to sleep, Fox." Mrs. Mulder kissed her son lightly, then, unable to resist, wound her arms around him. "I love you, sweetheart. That's something I didn't say nearly enough." She released the obviously uncomfortable man and backed away. "Goodnight."

"Try to go back to sleep," Alex advised softly. "I'll be right back."

Fox said nothing in answer. His gaze merely skittered away, and he chewed on the inside corner of his lip.

Once outside the room, the two moved quickly to the elevators.

"He looks a lot better than I expected to find him," Tina Mulder said by way of conversation.

"Yeah."

"Alex, I have to tell you..."

The elevator doors opened, and they came face to face with Scully and her three companions.

"What are you doing back here, now?" Alex asked, afraid to know the answer.

"They blew the place, Alex," Scully answered wearily. "I don't know how they got around security, but they did. That avenue is closed to us."

Mrs. Mulder raised her hands to her eyes as Alex turned away and gazed sightlessly out the lobby windows.

"Now, what?" the older woman asked.

"I don't know, Mrs. Mulder. I honestly don't know. I guess it's back to the hospital lab to make sure there isn't anything we may have overlooked. Other than that, I really don't know what to do." Scully walked toward Alex and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Alex. I know it's far from the news you wanted to hear."

Alex shrugged. "It's not your fault. You're doing everything you can."

"Well, listen, I'm beat. No sense in trying to get anything else done when I can't even see straight. I'm going to go get a few hours of sleep, then I'll be back."

"Okay. I was just going to walk Mrs. Mulder across the street."

Scully nodded. "We've all got rooms in that motel, so she can come with me and the guys. Skinner got a room for you as well, you know."

Alex shook his head. "I'm not leaving him."

"Didn't think you would. Well, goodnight. Try to get a little sleep, okay?"

"Okay."

The group departed, and Alex walked back in the direction of Fox's room. Outside the door, he took a couple of deep breaths and entered.

"You still awake?"

Silent nod.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not asleep."

It sounded for a minute like a typical Fox and Alex routine. The thought made Alex smile.

"Well, close your eyes. It's really late."

The hazel eyes drifted shut but a couple of minutes later were open again.

"She...my....mother...told me."

"Told you what?"

"About us."

Alex paled. "Sh...she did?"

Fox nodded, not meeting the other man's eyes. "She didn't want to at first. She said it was a conversation I needed to have with you. But you didn't seem too keen on telling me, so I insisted."

Alex looked down at the floor, at a loss for something to say.

"It's true?"

"...Yes."

"I...I...I don't know what to...I'm sorry."

"What about?"

"We're...we were...I don't know what tense to use..." He drew a deep breath and released it. "She told me that we were in love. She told me how hard you took it when you thought I was dead. I don't know what to say to you. I don't know what you're feeling."

"I'm fine," Alex answered, forcing himself to look Fox in the eye. "I'm just so relieved..."

"I understand that you don't want to upset me," Fox broke in. "You've been protecting me since you found me...do you want to hug me or something?" He watched the younger man's body twitch at the question.

"I'm all right, Fox," Alex lied in his most reassuring voice. "All I want is for you to go to sleep."

"But maybe....m-maybe if I touch you...maybe something will come back to me."

Alex closed his eyes and fought against the trembling of his lower lip.

"It...it's worth a try, isn't it?"

Bloodshot eyes opened and Alex hesitated before taking one, then two and more steps toward the bed. He sat at the edge of the bed, fidgeting with the corner of the blanket until Fox touched his arm. He looked up into the eyes he adored then leaned slowly against Fox's chest, wrapping his arms around the older man's waist. Fox's arms wound uncertainly around his back, and Alex lay against his love, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart.

There was no holding it.

Two tears escaped, one after the other from one eye, and Alex began a faint trembling. In no time, the trembling had turned to violent shudders, and he began to cry openly.

Fox listened to the anguished sobs of the man in his arms, and while he felt much compassion for him, uneasiness was the prevailing emotion. Hard as he tried, nothing came back to him. Not a flash, not a glimmer. Nothing at all.

Alex's sobs abated, and he pulled himself from Fox's stiff embrace. "I'm sorry," he sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "I...I didn't mean to put that on you."

"It's all right. I can't imagine how you must feel. It's got to be hell."

"It'll work out." Alex smiled through his tears. "You're alive, Fox. Yesterday, that wasn't even a possibility. If the devil had come to me with an offer to bring you back with the stipulation being that you'd never know me, I'd take it in a heartbeat."

"And be miserable knowing that we'd never be together?"

"I would live with it. There was and never will be any worse hell for me than you being gone from this world. I need you here...even if I can't have you in my life the way I did."

Fox lowered his head. "Doesn't seem very fair to you."

"Don't worry about me. I suppose I should be grateful that we lasted as long as we did. It was a hell of an accomplishment."

"What do you mean?"

Alex shrugged. "Nothing. I...I'm just tired. Why don't we get some sleep, okay?"

"No." Fox gave him that all too familiar determined look. "Why did you think we wouldn't last?"

Alex sighed wearily. "Let's just say I was always a bit insecure. Never felt quite worthy of you. I guess this is someone's way of telling me I was right."

"You sound like someone who's given up."

"I...I'm sorry," Alex looked down. "I didn't mean to come across that way. It's just that I'm really starting to feel the exhaustion right now, and I can't think straight." He looked up into the other man's eyes. "I'll fight for us for as long as it takes. I won't stop looking for a way to restore your memory until I'm sure that every possibility has been exhausted."

"And then?"

"And then, I guess it'll have to be all up to you. You'll have to decide whether or not you want to get to know me all over again. But, Fox...if you don't...if you find you don't want to try and rebuild what we had...if you feel no attraction to me, please tell me. I need you to be honest with me, okay? No matter how much you think it'll hurt me."

Fox gave no answer. He merely studied the other man's face.

Such sincerity in his eyes. Pretty, deep green eyes, fringed with long, dark lashes...eyes he could almost imagine himself falling into...

"Fox, please."

"I promise."

Alex nodded, satisfied. "Go to sleep, now." He adjusted the covers around Fox's shoulders, letting his hands linger for a bit longer than he needed to, then rose and took his seat in the chair.

"How can you sleep in that thing?" Fox asked, watching Alex try to settle his six foot frame into the small chair. "You should go to the motel."

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"I'll be fine."

"Yes, you will, Because I'm not leaving here until you do. Now, go to sleep." Alex sat up quickly, startled by the object that landed on his chest. He smiled over at the other man, realizing that Fox had tossed one of his pillows over at him. He tucked the pillow under his head and closed his eyes, mumbling a soft goodnight.

Fox sank down into the remaining pillows, not sleeping but watching Alex in the dim light.

In a way, he almost thought himself crazy to trust this man....this man who had rescued him from that tiny, dark room, and the things those men had done to him...stayed with him and protected him from the things he feared...this man who had just cried in his arms and showed him that, in no uncertain terms, he was deeply loved.

Crazy or not, he *did* trust this man.

This total stranger.

He stared at Alex until his head began to hurt and his eyes grew tired, trying to remember something about him...anything at all, but his efforts were fruitless. Finally, he gave up and closed his eyes, just missing the misty rays of dawn as they slowly filtered in through the closed blinds.

********************

"Scully."

"It's Skinner."

"You're there?"

"Yeah. They're still sifting through the rubble, but they've found all four of the officers who were missing. One had left the area just before the explosion, and the other three were found dead inside. They're questioning that fourth officer now. So, have you found anything?"

"Nothing at all. I've never seen anything like this. The properties are completely unrecognizable."

"You know what Mulder would say."

Scully sighed, a faint smile curving her lips. "I know." The smile disappeared. "Sir, I'm afraid we're fast approaching the end of the road, here."

"Just what I *didn't* want to hear. How's Mulder this morning?"

"He and Alex were asleep when I checked in on them at about eight. I left orders that they weren't to be disturbed. Maybe a good long rest'll help."

"You really think so?"

"......No. But it's all I can think to say right now."

"Well...it's after one. You think they're still asleep?"

"I assume so. I left a note for Alex, asking him to call me when he woke up, and I haven't heard from him. They're so tired, I don't doubt that they could still be out. I'm getting ready to quit, so I'll go up and check on them. God, I am *not* looking forward to telling Alex. Of all of us, he's got the most to lose."

"I know. I never thought I'd see the day when I felt sympathy for Alex Krycek."

"Me either. But he's shown me a lot...especially in these last few days. A person would have to be made of stone not to see how much he truly loves Mulder...speaking of Mulder...did you see Mrs. Mulder before you left?"

"Yes. She's not feeling well. I think it's all the excitement. She was just going to rest for a while. I told her if she felt worse to call you."

"All right, well, she hasn't called, so I guess she's okay. I'm going to go up now and get this over with."

"Good luck, Scully. I don't envy you."

Scully disconnected and, removing her gloves and lab coat, headed for the exit.

********************

Alex groaned softly as he woke. He opened his eyes, blinking in the brightness of the day, then looked at his watch.

"Damn."

"I don't know how you slept so long in that little chair."

He looked over at the man who was sitting up, staring at him.

"I've slept in much worse places than a chair." He stretched then rose and approached the bed. "How are you?"

Fox shrugged. "Not so tired...still don't remember anything."

"Well, it's afternoon, already. Let's hope Scully's down in the lab, finding something."

"I thought she was going back to the house."

Alex blew out a long breath. "She did. She came back last night as I was walking your mother to the elevator."

"I take it she didn't find anything helpful."

"She couldn't....Fox, they blew the house up."

Fox went quiet, picking at the edge of the blanket. "These people are awfully fond of blowing stuff up, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

The door opened, and Scully walked in, doing her best to smile.

"Ah, you're awake."

Alex picked up on her tone right away but said nothing.

"Find my life yet?"

Scully cast a wary glance at Alex. "Did you tell him about..."

"Yeah. Just now."

"I'm s...I wish I had better news, guys."

"You couldn't make an identification."

"No, Mulder. I'm afraid we're on our own."

Fox glanced from Scully to Alex and back again. "So, I'll never remember. My childhood or my parents...the life, the career I had..." He looked back to the man who had lowered his head. "...him..."

"Mulder, don't think like that. You could very well remember everything in time. In my opinion, those drugs I was able to identify should not permanently erase your memory."

"But the one you *couldn't* identify. You have no idea how it reacts with the other drugs."

Scully closed her eyes. "No, I don't."

"So the possibility that my memories are gone for good exists."

"Yes," she said, unable to lie to him. "Yes, there's always that possibility."

Fox fell silent, his attention now focused on Alex.

The younger man stood quietly, head down, eyes to the floor.

Scully broke the silence. "You know, Mulder, once you get home, back into your own apartment where things are really familiar, it could all come back to you," she snapped her fingers, "like that."

"And if not?"

"If all else fails, then we'll just have to reacquaint you with your life. Start at the very beginning and take you right through it. We'll tell you stories, show you pictures, take you places...anything and everything that you knew, you'll learn again." Noticing that her partner had started to look a bit overwhelmed, she added, "Little by little, of course. We'll move at a pace you're comfortable with. Do you want that?"

Fox was silent for a moment then nodded.

Scully gave him a reassuring smile. "Okay, well, I have to go talk to your doctor. He told me this morning that he thought you might actually be ready for release, but he wanted to give you the once-over first."

"All right. Uh...where's...where's my umm...I feel funny saying it."

"Your mother?"

"Yeah."

"She *is* your mother, Mulder. She may be a stranger to you, but you've been her son for all of your life. She's not feeling well, so she stayed at the motel room."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing much. She's just overcome by all that's happened in the last couple of days. She's exhausted...like we all are." Scully stepped forward and squeezed his hand. "I'll go talk to your doctor, now."

"Thank you."

When Scully was gone, Fox turned to face the one who was now staring out the window.

"So, I guess I'll be going home, soon...wherever that is."

Alex faced him with a trembling smile. "Yep."

Fox swallowed down the lump that seemed to have formed in his throat. "Wh...what she said was true. Maybe...maybe once I'm in more familiar surroundings..."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

Fox lowered his head. "If...if, umm, nothing rings a bell, and I have to be taught...about my life...will..." He stopped, unsure of how to proceed.

"Will, what?" Alex asked gently, walking toward the bed.

"Will you help me?" Fox looked up, letting Alex see the chaos that raged behind his eyes.

"Of course I'll help you," Alex whispered. "Any way I can."

Fox nodded, chewing on his lower lip. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Fox. I'd do anything in the world for you."

Fox went quiet for a moment then thought of something. "Do we live together?"

"Oh...uh...yeah. But...but I can find someplace else if you're going to be uncomfortable with that."

"No," Fox was quick to answer. "No, I want my life just the way it was. I think there's a better chance of me remembering if everything's exactly as it was."

Something in his words struck at Alex's heart, and the younger man turned away.

"What? What did I say?"

When his question received no answer, he started guessing.

"Does it have to do with me wanting everything to be just like it was?"

Damn, he was always *way* too good at guessing.

"Oh...we're...and we must...shit."

Alex turned to face him. "Don't sweat it," he said as lightly as he could. "Things don't have to be *exactly* like they were. Us living in the same apartment is close enough. I'll sleep on the couch."

Fox ran his fingers through his hair. "God, I feel like shit."

"Don't. We're going to take this as slowly as you need too. And please, Fox, remember what I said. If at any time you feel that you don't want to go on trying, I want to know."

Fox nodded his agreement.

Scully re-entered the room, followed by the admitting doctor. She smiled at Fox then moved to Alex's side, waiting for the doctor to give his patient the once-over.

"How're you feeling today, Mr. Mulder?"

"Aside from not knowing who I am? Great."

"Well, once you get home, it might all come back to you."

"Uh-huh. And when'll that be?"

"As far as I'm concerned, if you check out okay, you can go home today," the doctor said, wrapping the blood pressure cuff around Fox's arm.

Alex watched a jumble of anticipation and fear battling for control in his lost lover's eyes, and he fought to keep himself from wrapping Fox in his arms and promising him that everything would be all right. Comforting words from a stranger, he was afraid, would hold little consolation and might only add to Fox's despondency.

After announcing that Fox was fit to leave, the doctor wished them luck and left to see to the release forms.

"That's great," Scully smiled, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. "You'll feel so much better, Mulder, when you're out of here and back home."

The look on Fox's face brought Alex immediately to his side. Before he could ask any questions, Fox looked over at Scully then up at him.

"You keep talking about this place called home, but I get no picture in my mind at all. I don't know where it is, I don't know what it looks like...how long I've lived there..."

"It's got to be scary, Mulder," Scully admitted. "You've got no choice but to trust people you don't know from a hole in the wall to tell you who you are and where you live...what your life is like. I can only imagine how frightening that must be. But please do trust us. We're all your friends and family, and we'd never hurt you."

Fox shifted his attention from the woman known as Scully to the man who stood silently by his side. He gave Alex an almost timid smile and shrugged.

"I guess we should go home then."

Alex said nothing; he only returned the smile.

"You know, I just had a thought. Mulder, you've got no clothes."

"I hadn't even thought of that," Alex responded to Scully's statement.

"It's okay," she held her hands up and turned to Fox. "Mulder, what size do you...oh...damn. I'm...I'm sorry....damn. Alex, do you know?"

"Yeah."

When Alex had written down the correct sizes and Scully had gone, he returned his attention to the man in the bed. He reached out, stroking Fox's hair just once before removing his hand. Fox watched hand curl into a fist and drop to his side.

"Still feeling apprehensive about going home?"

Fox nodded and shrugged at the same time, then asked an off-topic question.

"How did we meet?"

Alex blew out a short breath. "That's a long one. Are you sure you want to get into that right now?"

"Gotta start sometime."

"True." Alex gave him a nervous grin. "Just remember the story has a happy ending, okay?"

Fox tilted his head. "Starts out rough?"

"You might say that. I was uh...assigned to you.."

"Assigned to me...you're with the FBI too?"

"Not anymore."

"You're too young to be retired...what happened?"

"I screwed up big time is what happened. There were these men..."

Before Alex could explain, the door opened and Skinner and Tina Mulder entered. He stepped back as the woman approached and laid a gentle kiss on her son's forehead.

"Hello, sweetheart," Mrs. Mulder spoke to Fox then looked to Alex. "How are you boys today?"

Fox was first to speak. "Okay. How are *you*? We heard you weren't feeling well."

"Yes, I was feeling rather ill this morning, but I'm much better now." She took Fox's hand and smiled down at him. "And I hear you're going home. That's wonderful. You'll feel so much better once you're back there."

"That's what Scully said."

"You don't believe it?"

"I...I don't know. I want to believe that once I walk through the door, everything's just going to hit me in the face, but..."

Mrs. Mulder caressed her son's cheek. "But what, Fox?"

"But...if having my mother, my co-workers and the man I'm supposed to be in love with here with me isn't bringing my memory back, why should a few familiar rooms and some furniture do it?"

"We don't know, Mulder," Skinner finally spoke. "The thing that finally triggers your memory could be something so small, so insignificant. We just don't know."

"Skinner's right, Fox," Alex agreed, bringing a mild look of surprise to the A.D's face. "Don't be disappointed if it all doesn't just come rushing back to you as soon as you walk in the door. You're going to have to be patient."

"Am I the patient type?"

Alex gave him a small grin. "Depends on the situation."

Fox's eyes fell away from the other's face. "Well, do me a favor, okay? If I start to become too big a pain in the butt, let me know."

"Your personality hasn't changed, Mulder," Skinner informed him good-naturedly. "We'd start to become seriously worried if you *weren't* a pain in the butt."

A small pout formed on Fox's mouth, making Alex's heart swell. "You mean I aggravate you people?"

"It's just that you're rather..." Skinner looked to Alex then back at Fox, searching for the right word. "...intense..."

"You're saying I'm a *big* pain in the ass."

"No..." The word fell simultaneously from the lips of the other two men.

"Yes." The attention of all three men fell to the woman who looked around the room. "Well, he is. But I'm your mother, Fox, and I say it with love. You're a big pain in the ass. You're stubborn, opinionated, single-minded...I could go on, but sooner or later I would end up repeating myself. But the point, dear, is that all of these things are what make you, you. We wouldn't have you any other way."

"I'm back."

Four sets of eyes turned toward the door.

"What, did they have a clothing section down in the gift shop? Alex asked, surprised at Scully's speedy return.

"No, but there was a strip mall with a Sears in it."

"*Sears*..."

"Sorry, Alex, I didn't have time to find a J.Crew."

Alex emitted a sigh of distaste then withdrew the jeans and simple vee-neck sweater from the bag. "I guess it's okay," he mumbled, letting the items fall back over the underwear and sneakers in the bottom of the bag.

"Well, why don't we go back to the motel and let them get ready to leave?" Skinner advised the two women.

They all moved in the direction of the door, Mrs. Mulder dropping a kiss on her son's head first.

Alex placed the bag on the chair closest to the bed then drew closer to Fox. "We'll meet you over there, all right?"

Skinner nodded. "Take your time."

When the three had gone, Alex turned to Fox and gently drew the covers back. "Okay, let's get you showered and dressed."

Fox swung his legs off the bed and stood, taking a moment to balance himself. Alex stood beside him, prepared to help.

"I'm okay," Fox said softly, taking a tentative step toward the bathroom.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Fox took another step, and then another. "Just a little wobbly, but it's getting better."

By the time he reached the bathroom, he was walking almost normally, and Alex waited nervously outside the door, listening for any thumps or thuds that would tell him that Fox had lost his balance. In the twenty-five minutes that it took for Fox to shower and dress, he heard no such noises, and he blew out a long breath of relief when the door opened and the older man walked out into the room.

"Feel okay?"

"A little tired," Fox complained. "I didn't even do much."

"You're still a little weak. You'll be fine in another day or two."

Fox nodded. "So...considering I'm wearing clothes from Sears...do I look okay?"

Alex laughed softly. "Baby, you could make a burlap sack look good." A bit too late, he bit his tongue, mentally chastising himself for his slip, but if the endearment bothered Fox, the older man never let on.

Fox watched Alex move past him and gather the things they would be taking with them. That done, he guided Fox to a chair and eased him into it.

"Why don't you rest a minute while I go and see about getting us the hell out of here?"

Fox sat quietly and waited the few seconds it took for Alex to disappear from and re-enter the room. He was followed by a nurse and an orderly pushing a wheelchair.

"Time to go."

"That was fast."

"They were on their way here, anyway."

Fox signed himself out, and they left the hospital. Slowly, they walked across the street to the motel where they met up with their group.

Three men Fox did not recognize accosted him the moment he and Alex came through the doors. He flinched and backed up a couple of steps as the three flocked around him, patting him on the back and smiling.

"Welcome back to the living, dude," the skinny blonde grinned. "Hey, Mulder, can I still have your comic books?"

"*Comic books*..."

Fox looked from the blonde to the small man who had just wrapped his arms around his waist. "Ignore him, Mulder. Damn, we're glad to see you. That video collection would have meant nothing to me with you gone, anyway."

"Back off, you cretins," the taller, bearded man said to the other two. "You're scaring the poor man, for God's sake."

Frohike released Fox who immediately moved in Alex's direction, feeling the need to be closer to the man he'd come to associate with security.

"Sorry about that, Mulder," the well-dressed man apologized. "We're just so glad to see you."

Fox looked at the oddball trio and frowned. "Who are you?"

"Damn, this is freaky," Langly commented, stepping forward. "We're your friends, man." He introduced himself then the other two. "We've known each other for years. We help you out on some of your cases. You know, provide you with certain..." He looked to Skinner then back. "...information..."

Fox shrugged. "Okay..."

A gentle hand on his arm drew Fox's attention to the man at his side.

"Nothing?"

Fox looked back at the three and shook his head.

"No biggie. Ready to go home?"

"I guess."

Alex gave him a heartening smile, and the group moved out to the parking lot. There, they divided up into three smaller parties and got into their vehicles. The Gunmen left together while Tina Mulder went with Scully and Skinner, leaving Alex and Fox alone.

Alex opened the door, and Fox slid into the car. He watched the younger man round the front of the vehicle and drop into the driver's seat, giving him a tiny grin when forest-green eyes turned his way. Alex returned the smile and started the car.

Fifteen minutes later, they were on the highway and heading back to Alexandria.

"So..." the soft monotone broke the silence. "Tell me about these men."

"Huh?"

"Before Skinner and my mother came in earlier, you were saying you screwed up big time and then mentioned some men."

Alex shook his head. "God, Fox, this is such a complicated story. Are you sure you don't want to start with your mother at the beginning of your life and then work forward? By then I might actually have my thoughts together enough to give you a coherent account of what happened."

"I don't want to wait that long. My life...my present life is with you, right?"

Alex nodded.

"Then that's what I want to know about. I want to know about now. I want to know about us."

"Your present life also involves Scully and Skinner and your work...it's a huge part of your life..."

"My memory may be gone, but I'm not stupid," Fox said in that persistent voice that Alex knew all too well. "Why are you trying to throw me off the subject of our life?"

"I...I'm not, Fox, it's just...I told you, it's very complicated. And long. I'm afraid that if I leave something out, if I miss something...it might throw a false light on our relationship."

"Just start at the beginning, take your time, and tell me the truth."

Alex sighed softly. "All right. You started out in the Violent Crimes Division. Your talent for profiling suspects had grown to almost legendary proportions. You're brilliant, Fox...bordering on genius. You've helped catch some of the most elusive criminals the FBI has ever known. One day, you happened across the X-files..."

"The what?"

Alex groaned inwardly. If the word X-files didn't jog his memory...

"The X-files. A bunch of unsolved cases that, because of their nature, were filed away and buried. You dug them out and became so immersed in them, that you left the VCU and devoted all your time to them. You were allowed to do so, for what reason, I'm not sure. In time, people began to sit up and take notice of your work. It made certain groups nervous..."

"Why?"

"I gotta go back a little bit. When you were a boy, your sister was abducted. She was never returned. You witnessed this, and you never got over it. You believed that she was abducted by aliens..."

Fox cocked his head. "Little green men?"

"Well, you always said that they were gray...but anyway, the X-files...these unsolved cases were all supernatural in nature, and some of the information you dug up pointed to a conspiracy within our own government. You didn't know it at first, but these people I mentioned before started to get really nervous. They knew you. They were well aware of your brilliance and your tenacity. They arranged to give you a partner...Scully. You know she's a doctor...they thought that someone with a background in science would be an obstacle. She was there to debunk your work and lead you back into the Bureau mainstream. But it didn't work out quite the way they wanted it to. She still challenged you, but you two formed a bond that they couldn't break. Even after they shut the X-files down..."

Fox listened quietly trying to absorb what Alex was telling him.

"That's where I came in."

Fox turned in his seat, facing Alex more fully.

"I'd heard about you in the academy. Your cases were used as examples in classes, and everyone knew the name Fox Mulder. They also knew your nickname."

"I had a nickname?"

"You still do, though most people only use it behind your back."

"Can't be too flattering, then. What do they call me?"

"Spooky. Because of the work you do. You're considered to be a bit...eccentric."

"People think I'm nuts?"

"Some. I never did."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I just...I had more respect for you than that...even though I didn't even know you. Anyway, I was approached one day just before graduation by a group of men. They said they'd been monitoring that year's class, looking for someone with some very specific qualities. They'd finally singled me out and asked if I'd be interested. They told me that it was of the utmost importance to national security, and that I would be doing my country a tremendous service." He stopped to emit a soft, harsh laugh. "I was so dazzled by the idea and so proud that out of my entire class, these men thought *I* had what it took."

Fox shifted in his seat but remained silent and attentive.

"They began to train me. It was intense, and some of it came in contrary to what I believed, but they convinced me...almost brainwashed me into believing that I would be working in the best interests of the country. They trained me in espionage, Fox. They trained me to kill. I took to it like a duck to water, and still I was proud of myself. I was doing so well...they were so happy with me. I thought I was going to be a hero....stupid kid."

"A little over a year later, they came to me with my first assignment. They told me that they were going to partner me with Fox Mulder, and I couldn't believe it. I was going to get to work with the legend. They didn't tell me what the assignment was until the next day, and I was left to imagine us in all sorts of situations, working together...saving the world. I prayed to God that night that I would remember everything I was taught and that I would impress you and do well. The next day, they explained to me that you were unwittingly working in an area that was damaging to national security. My job was to distract you from your job and somehow rein you in. I didn't understand. I asked them why they just didn't tell you that what you were working on was harmful to the country. They said that you had gone way beyond the realm of rationality...that you had become dangerous, and they feared what would happen if they confronted you."

"And you believed it?"

"I didn't want to. But hell, I didn't know you, and I had no reason to believe that they would lie to me. I took the assignment and did my damnedest to do my job, but..."

"But, what?"

"I became attracted to you almost instantly. I still did my job, but it was that much harder. I reported to them every other day, and having met Scully and seeing the bond you shared, it wasn't hard for me to report that she was a definite obstacle to the mission. They had her...removed..."

Fox tilted his head. "Removed?"

"They took her. They arranged an abduction much like your sister's. You went off to find her after hearing a phone call that she tried making to you just before she was taken, and I followed. My instructions were to keep you from reaching your destination no matter how I had to do it."

"Even if you had to kill me?"

"Even if I had to kill you."

"You obviously didn't."

"I never would have. There'd been plenty of instances, Fox. Plenty of opportunities, but I would never take them. I did my job to the best of my ability, but I drew the line at hurting you. Anyway, Scully was taken away, and I was pulled off the assignment. We didn't meet again for a long time. Scully was returned some time later, and Skinner reopened the X-files."

"You...you said we didn't meet again for a long time. What did you do in that time?"

Alex shook his head. "Awful stuff. Things I still have nightmares about..."

"So...for the most part, you were a hired gun."

"I did much more than that, but yes. And I continued on that way until they decided it was time to get rid of me. That's when I came to the conclusion that Alex Krycek would stop being a pawn. I went on to become a major player in their game, and they had no choice. They either played with me, or I blew them all out of the water. I made them think I was still with them, though for my own purposes. But I was working against them...I still am."

"So, when did we team up again?"

"We didn't. So many things happened, Fox. So many things you couldn't get past...before I split from the Consortium, I..." He sigh softly. "The car really isn't the place for me to say this to you. We're almost home. Can you wait for the rest until you're settled?"

Fox studied the man carefully, trying to read his expression. "Okay. If you insist."

"I just really think it'd be better."

Fox nodded and sank into the seat, trying to process what had been told to him so far. It was a fantastic story, one he was sure was loaded with more details than what Alex had given him, but it was more than enough for him to think about right now.

The man was a killer...and from what he'd understood, a triple agent. And, apart from what he'd already told Fox, it was apparent that he'd done something even more disturbing. So disturbing, that he wanted to wait until Fox was comfortably settled before telling him about it.

Yet, they'd supposedly gotten through all of it...whatever all of it was, and had fallen madly in love.

//God, it all sounds so insane when you put it that way.//

Fox quietly watched the younger man's face out of the corner of his eye, appreciating the curl of his dark lashes and sad pout of his mouth, and he wondered how one who appeared so loving and patient could be what Alex was telling him he'd been.

********************

"So, what do you really think?" Tina Mulder's voice resonated in the silence of the car.

Scully turned back to look the older woman in the eye. "Think about what?"

"Will he ever really remember?"

"I wish I could say for sure, Mrs. Mulder. The truth is, I really don't know."

"I don't know what he'll do...what his life will be like if he can't remember."

"I don't know that either. We'll just have to help him through it the best way we can."

Tina Mulder nodded. "He was obviously happy before this happened. The one thing I want for him, even if he never remembers, is to have that happiness back."

"He will be," Scully assured her. "He's the same person he was. Alex is the same. And he loves your son. Whatever it was that brought them together in the first place will bring them together again. It may take a little while, but they'll be happy."

********************

Alex pulled into the parking garage and shut the engine off. Looking over to the passenger's side, he noticed that Fox looked a bit pale.

"Fox? Are you all right?"

"Y-yeah. I'm...so, this is it?"

"Yeah. Come on, let's go up."

They entered the building and rode the elevator up to the fourth floor in silence. When the doors opened, Alex stepped into the hall, waiting for Fox to join him before moving toward apartment forty-two. They reached the door, and he handed the key to the other man. Fox looked to him curiously, and he motioned silently to the lock.

Fox looked down at the key in his hand for a number of seconds before finally inserting it into the lock and turning it. He inhaled deeply and opened the door, stepping inside.

Alex hung back a bit, letting Fox enter first and look around. He stepped into the apartment as Fox moved slowly forward, taking everything in. The older man spun in a slow arc, investigating everything in his line of sight, then turned to Alex, a hopeless expression on his face.

"Nothing."

"Fox..." Alex moved forward, stopping when they were only inches apart. "You knew that the chances of you remembering everything the minute you walked in were slim. You need time to absorb everything. Don't push it. Just try to relax, okay?"

Fox nodded, lowering his eyes. He stood quietly, feeling the proximity of the man in front of him and almost wishing that Alex would pull him into his arms.

Alex stood in front of Fox, breathing deeply, inhaling the scent of him, and mentally willed himself to keep his hands off of the confused man. Before he could give in, Fox moved away, drifting in the direction of the fish tank.

"Hey, guys," he said softly. "Remember me?" He rested the fingers of one hand against the glass. "I don't remember you..."

A sound in the direction of the doorway drew his and Alex's attention, and they turned to find the rest of their group coming through the door.

"We just came in to see if..." Langly let his statement trail off, noting the looks on the faces of the two men.

Scully stepped forward, laying a hand on Fox's shoulder. "Take it slowly, Mulder. Try not to force it."

"Yeah, yeah," the unhappy man answered softly.

Tina Mulder approached, pulling her son toward her. "Fox, I'm going to spend one more night here in town, then I'm going home to give you time to re-adjust here." She turned to Alex. "Maybe in a week or two, if nothing has happened, you might come out for the weekend?"

Alex looked to Fox for a response. Receiving none, he answered the best he could. "That's fine with me, Mrs. Mulder. We'll talk about it a little later, all right?"

"All right, dear." She looked back at Fox. "We're going to leave you alone now, sweetheart. You get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow before I leave."

Fox nodded silently, head tilted downward. The woman pressed a kiss into his hair and backed away, taking the rest of the group with her toward the door. Alex said goodbye to everyone, thanking them for their help, and the door closed, leaving them alone once more.

"Want to see the rest of the apartment?"

"Okay," Fox answered flatly, and Alex took him on an abbreviated tour, ending with the bedroom. Fox looked around, investigating both closets when Alex had pointed out to him which was which. He stood in front of his own closet, noting the couple dozen suits and various ties and shirts, then looked into Alex's closet, his eyes wandering over the very different wardrobe. "Looks like you're a lot more comfortable than I am."

The other man smiled. "You don't wear suits twenty-four seven. You've got plenty of your own jeans and whatnot."

"I didn't see any."

"That's because your suits take up all the closet space. Your casual clothes are in your drawers." Alex slid open each drawer, pointing out the rest of Fox's clothes. As they were exiting, Fox stopped, his gaze falling on the bed.

Alex backed up and approached from behind. "What is it?"

"It's not fair to you."

"What isn't?"

"We shared this bed, right?"

"...Yeah."

"It's not fair for you to have to sleep on the couch."

"Fox, we've been through this. It's all right. Really."

Fox sighed softly and moved past Alex, leaving the room. He re-entered the living room and sat down on the sofa, once more looking around. "Can we finish talking, now?"

Alex chewed on his lower lip...a habit he seemed to have picked up from his lover, and sat in the chair across from him. "Sure, why not?" he answered softly. "Where were we?"

"You were going to tell me about something you did."

"Yeah...right. Something I did. Umm...Fox, these men I've told you about...your..your father was part of their group..."

"Father. My father..I've heard nothing about him until now. How come?"

"...He's deceased."

"Oh. But...but at one time he was involved with these people?"

"Yes. I...I knew of him, but he was long before my time. I'd never seen him...had no idea what he looked like or anything...and one day...one day they came to me with a new assignment. They wanted me to kill a man. By then it was no big thing to me, and it's only now that I can look back and think how terrible that was. To think of killing someone as just another job..."

Fox waited patiently, but for some reason, his heart had begun to thud.

"The man they wanted me to kill..." Alex licked nervously at his lips. "Fox, it was your father." He watched a look of disbelief cross Fox's face and then horror. "I didn't know, Fox, I didn't. I was handed an assignment, and I did the job. I had no idea who it was I was to kill. I didn't even know you were there..."

"I was where?"

"There...in the house. I was hiding in the bathroom...the shower, and when he came in to get some pills...after I shot him, I heard your voice. I knew it was you...I'd never forget the sound of your voice. I heard you call to him, and I was sick. I really didn't know, Fox. I...I ran, I didn't know what to do. If...if I'd known, I never would have..."

Fox tilted his head, sending Alex a confused frown. "You killed my father?"

"Yeah, but...God, this is worse than the first time. Fox, did you hear me? I didn't know until later that he was your father."

Fox shook his head. "I don't know...I can't remember him, I can't picture the man's face, but..."

Alex left his chair and squatted in front of Fox. "Fox...baby..."

Fox looked up, hearing the term of affection.

"We got past it. I ...I lied at first. I told you that I didn't do it. I don't know why...I...I'd already become interested in you, and I guess I thought that if I told you the truth that there'd *never* be a chance for us, if you...not that you'd ever given me the slightest impression." He covered his face with one hand. "I don't know, I...it was stupid. I told you a long time later. I explained it, and even though you hated me for a lot of other reasons, at least I'd told you the truth, whether you believed it or not."

"You're telling me," Fox interrupted softly, "that I forgave you for killing my father and that you and I became lovers."

"Yes."

"When did all this supposedly happen?"

"Your father died years ago. You and I became lovers last year."

Fox sat stone still, eyes cast to the floor. "How did we end up together?"

"I caught wind of a hostage situation that you were involved in out west, and I went and got you out."

"*You* did. Wasn't the FBI was involved?"

"The place was swarming with law enforcement, but they were playing it by the book. There was no time for that. Those men would have killed you and everyone else in that lodge. I went in and got you."

"And then, what?"

"I have a cabin in Oregon. I took you there. You were very sick, and you were wounded. I...I took care of you..."

"What about Scully? She's my doctor, right?"

"Scully didn't know where you were. I slipped you out without anyone seeing."

Fox lifted his head and looked flatly at Alex. "Why?"

"If they'd known, they never would have let me take you."

"So you kidnapped me?"

"Sort of."

"Let me get this straight. You killed my father...you kidnapped me...what else have you done to my family?"

"Nothing. Fox, please. You're getting too upset. Let's just stop here for now. I'll get you something to eat..."

"No. I want the rest."

"It can wait a little while."

"No, it can't. I want to know the rest, right now."

Alex bowed his head in resignation. "Fine. I'd...I'd been planning for some time to get you up to the cabin. I'd wanted you for so long, and when you were so close to the cabin...I had the opportunity, and before I could chicken out, I took it."

Fox shook his head in disbelief. "I don't understand. What...*what* were you hoping for?"

"The impossible." Alex lifted his head and met Fox's eyes. "And it happened. Somehow, it happened. We got past all the bullshit and found each other. It was rough at first; you didn't want to admit what you felt for me, but you did after a while, and we spent a few perfect days together."

"Just a few?"

Alex nodded. "You had to get back to the real world sooner or later. You didn't want to, though. You wanted to stay there with me."

Fox ignored the implication. "You didn't come back with me?"

"No. I...I had things to do, but we talked on the phone a couple of days, then you told Scully about us, and we ran into problems."

"What kind of problems?"

"Well, she hated me. She didn't trust me as far as she could throw me, and she thought I'd done something to you."

"Something?"

"She wasn't entirely sure that I hadn't brainwashed you somehow."

"You didn't, did you?"

"No," Alex whispered. "Everything you felt for me, you felt on your own."

"Why'd *Scully* hate you?"

"A lot of the same reasons you had...and I...I was involved with her sister's death."

"Her *sister*." Fox sat back, leaning his head against the cushion of the sofa. "Jesus. You killed her sister?"

"No. N-no. I was there. The guy I was with...he shot her."

"Why?"

"It was a mistake." Alex clasped his hands together. "Oh, God...the bullet wasn't meant for her."

"Who *was* it meant for?"

"...Scully." Alex looked up into appalled eyes. "Fox..."

"You were trying to kill my partner?"

The younger man blew out a soft breath. "Yes."

"Oh, this is good." Fox rose from the sofa and began to pace. "Let me see is I've got this right, now. You killed my father. In a screwed-up murder attempt on my *partner's* life, you...excuse me, your *companion* kills her sister...whoever the hell it is you worked for had her abducted while you kept me from saving her...God knows what happened after that...and years later, you kidnap *me* and hold me prisoner at some cabin in Oregon." He spun on his heel and addressed the man who remained on his knees in front of the sofa. "Have I got it right so far?"

"Basically."

"And you're telling me that I'm in love with you."

"Yes."

"You're a kidnapper, a spy and a murderer. I can only assume that I can add consummate liar to that stellar list. So, why the hell should I believe you?"

"I guess you have no reason to." Alex rose to his feet and faced the older man, looking at him through glazed eyes. "But for what it's worth, everything I've told you is the truth. You can ask Scully and Skinner if you like. They know how much I love you."

"*How* do they know?" Fox's voice took on an agitated tone. "How do *I* know? Because you've told us? How much are your assurances worth?"

Alex flinched at Fox's words.

"You've done all these things...you've hurt me and my friends and family, and you want me to trust you...you *expect* me to trust you...don't you?"

"You did once. And we were happy. I'd hoped that you would again." Alex looked away, unable to meet the accusing, gold-flecked stare. "I uh...I...I'm going to go. I'm not helping you; I'm only making things a lot worse. That isn't what I wanted to do."

Fox watched Alex drift from the room, staring in his direction even after he heard the bedroom door open and close. A million questions ran through his head even as tremors began to course through his body.

This was who he'd been sharing his life with? This man, this hired thug who had come into his life under the most dishonest of circumstances...this kidnapper, this murderer...

He lowered his head into his hands.

This man who had rescued him from those who had stolen his memory...protected him from the things he feared...the same man who refused to leave his side, treated him so gently...looked at him with such love.

The man who had wept like a child in his arms...

Fox lifted his head and watched as Alex re-entered the room with a single, large leather bag slung over his shoulder, and his trembling increased.

"I'll uh...I'll call Scully," Alex said to the man on the sofa. "Let her know." His eyes left the floor for moment to look at Fox. "If you need..." He broke off his offer. "I'll check in with Scully to see how you are."

Inexplicable panic set in as Fox watched Alex move to the door.

"*No*."

The younger man stopped and turned around, noting the expression of fear on Fox's face. He left the bag by the door and approached slowly.

"What is it? Fox, are you all right?"

"Don't," Fox answered on a shaky breath. "Don't go."

Alex gave him a confused stare.

"...Please."

"But..."

Fox said nothing more. He only looked up at the other man, his eyes pleading.

Alex opened his mouth, his lips moving but no sound coming out. Finally, he forced himself to speak.

"Are you sure?"

The other man nodded.

Alex hesitated, then backed off a step. "Okay," he said on a coarse whisper then retrieved his bag. Casting a sidelong glance at the seated man, he moved slowly into the bedroom.

Fox sat a while longer, eyes darting around the room, then got up and went to the bedroom.

The door was open, and he stepped cautiously inside, quietly watching as Alex put his clothes away.

Alex hung his last pair of jeans up and shut the closet door to find himself being watched. Not knowing what to do, his gaze skittered away, and they stood in awkward silence.

"I sh...I shouldn't have reacted that way," Fox said long seconds later. "I should've thought about it..."

"You feel the way you feel," Alex answered softly. "There's nothing to think about."

"No, I...there was. I completely forgot that it was you who took me out of that house...and how you were right there for me the whole time. I don't know...I don't know everything that happened; I shouldn't have..." Fox stopped, searching for something apologetic to say. "...I think Scully and Skinner are too smart not to know if you're lying. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped on you like that."

"It's all right," Alex said, sadness still flowing through his voice. "All you know of me is what I've told you so far. It's not hard to see how you would think what you do about me."

"I shouldn't have done that to you," Fox apologized again. "I won't do it again. I'll just listen to everything you have to tell me, and I won't judge. I promise."

Alex could sense the anxiety in the other man...could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. He wanted so much to do something to relieve Fox's fear, but he had fears of his own. He was afraid that if he touched the other man, it wouldn't end there. He'd want to hold him. And holding Fox in his arms was all he'd ever needed to arouse his desire. That couldn't happen. Not now. He was terrified of pushing him farther than he was ready to go. He had no idea what effect it would have on Fox, and after the near-disastrous result of the conversation they'd had just a little while ago, he wasn't particularly anxious to find out.

"Are you hungry? I can go see what's in the kitchen..."

Fox shrugged, unsure of what to say. He wasn't especially hungry, but he thought that if he ate, Alex would too, and he remembered hearing from Scully about how little the other man had eaten in the last few days.

"Yeah, I...I guess."

Alex nodded and moved around Fox, heading out of the bedroom. "Why don't you go relax? Watch t.v. or something, and I'll get something ready."

Fox wandered back over to the sofa, picking the remote up off of the coffee table. He turned the set on, but his attention kept getting drawn away. His eyes scanned the room over and over, trying to pick something out. Anything at all that looked the slightest bit familiar, but nothing his gaze fell on rang a bell. They were all just objects to him. Things that occupied space in a place that was his only because a lease said so. And in the kitchen, there was a man. A handsome, sad, sweet killer who loved him but whose love he couldn't return.

Though he couldn't deny that he felt something. He'd trusted this man from the beginning, and with the exception of the terrible way he'd treated him earlier, they'd gotten along exceptionally well. And just now when Alex had been about to leave, the feeling that had come over him was one of sheer panic. He felt safe with this man. Protected.

Fox closed his eyes, feeling the onset of another headache. He tried to clear his head of all thoughts and simply relax, but it wasn't an easy thing to do. So much information to process. So much emotion all at once.

He swung his legs up on the sofa and lay down, pulling a throw pillow over his face, blocking out all light, but the pain did not lessen. In fact it increased, building to a throb that drew him to his feet and out of the room.

********************

Alex pulled two plates down from the cabinet, preparing to serve a meal made up of the food that people had dropped by during their brief period of mourning. The thought that Fox's friends and acquaintances should be informed of his return flitted across Alex's mind but disappeared just as quickly as Fox drifted in, looking dazed. Alex dropped the serving spoon he held and rushed to him.

"Fox, what's wrong? You don't look good."

Fox closed his eyes for a second then reopened them. "My head."

"What? Does it hurt?"

The other man nodded.

"Okay, come on." Alex guided him out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, laying him down on the bed. "Stay here. I'll go get you some aspirin and some food."

Once he was sure that Fox was as comfortable as he could make him, Alex rushed to the kitchen and got his dinner. He returned minutes later and set a tray down over the older man's legs. Next, he went into the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of Motrin out of the medicine cabinet. He came back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

"How bad is it?"

"Hard to keep my eyes open. Hard to think."

Alex shook three tablets out of the bottle and placed them down on the tray. "Okay, you have to try to eat a little bit. I don't want the pills to upset your stomach."

Fox struggled to sit up while Alex held the tray, then he forced himself to eat while the younger man looked on, worry creasing his brow. A third of the way through the meal, he pushed the plate away.

"No more."

Alex frowned, disappointed that Fox had eaten so little, but he decided that it would just have to do. He placed a glass of water in the older man's hand and held the pills out to him. Fox took the offering, dropped the tablets into his mouth, and washed them down. Alex took the tray away and tucked the light blanket up around Fox's shoulders. He shut the light off, plunging the room into semi-darkness.

"Better?"

Fox nodded and let his eyes close.

"Try to sleep, okay?" Alex threw caution to the wind and raised his hand to Fox's head, tenderly stroking the other man's hair. "You'll feel better when you wake up."

Fox moaned softly, tilting his head into the caress and bringing a tiny, sad smile to Alex's lips.

His beautiful, lost Fox. Returned to him by some miracle, though only in part. The piece of him that knew Alex as the man who adored him was gone...possibly forever, and now Alex would have to try all over again to win his heart.

Alex continued to gently pet the golden-brown head, watching the matching eyelashes flutter as another soft moan escaped Fox's slightly parted lips.

Fox needed him here, that much was clear. Alex could read it in his frightened, uncertain gaze when the older man had apologized for turning on him and asked him to stay. But dependency was a poor substitute for love, and Alex had to wonder if the sins he'd very recently revisited upon them would prove to be too great an obstacle for Fox to overcome in his present state. He could only pray that they weren't.

He sat for at least half an hour after he was sure that Fox was asleep then rose from the bed. Leaning over the other man, he deposited a soft kiss on the top of his head, picked up the tray, and slipped quietly from the room.

********************

Fox opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by total darkness.

He sat up quickly, heart pounding as he searched the void. Finally realizing that he hadn't awakened feeling ill or cold and that he wasn't chained to the bed he lay on, he began to relax. He took two deep breaths and fumbled for the lamp he remembered seeing on the table by the bed. Pale light washed the room, and he scanned the area, finding himself alone. His heart rate began to increase again as he listened to the silence.

"Alex?"

Not realizing that he had called far too softly to be heard, panic set in. He got out of bed and passed through the open door, making his way to the living room.

The room was quiet and fairly dark, but a few slim bands of moonlight passed through the slitted blinds, falling across the figure on the sofa.

Fox drew a steadying breath and crept over toward the sleeping man. He carefully lowered himself to the coffee table, sitting at the edge and studied the sleep-softened features of the one he knew only as his guardian.

He wondered idly, as he contemplated the heavy sweep of lashes and relaxed bow of the man's lips, how someone who looked so nearly angelic in sleep and behaved in such a sweet and patient manner could possibly be what Alex had told him he'd been. But he *had*, at least in part, witnessed Alex's anger when the EMT had insisted on restraining Fox to the stretcher. He hadn't hesitated to draw his gun on the man, and the look in his eyes had been one of pure malice. But the moment his attention had returned to Fox, that had all melted away and only the man he'd come to know over the last couple of days had remained.

Such a contradiction, he thought. Able to go from malevolent to loving in a matter of seconds...

Fox stopped breathing as Alex shifted. The sleeping man settled into a new position and sighed softly. The sound resonated in Fox's ears and sent an unexplainable flutter through his lower regions.

He lifted himself carefully off the table and settled into the nearby chair where he continued to watch Alex sleep until he himself drifted into slumber.

********************

Alex opened his eyes at quarter to seven, and the first thing that came into his line of vision was Fox sprawled in the chair across from the sofa, arms folded over his chest, head tilted to one side...fast asleep.

He sat up and swung his legs off the sofa, stretching before rising to his feet, then walked over to the chair. He kneeled beside the sleeping man and laid a gentle hand on his knee.

"Fox."

"Hmm."

"Hey," Alex whispered, rubbing the spot on which his hand rested.

Almost gray eyes opened halfway, and Fox frowned as he took in a deep breath.

"Oww...."

"Neck hurt?"

The older man nodded and winced as he lifted his head.

"What the heck were you doing sleeping in the chair? I left you fast asleep in your bed last night."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Fox croaked as he massaged his own shoulder. "But I woke up and it was dark and quiet. I just...I came out to see where you were, and I sat down for a little while..."

Alex gave him a hint of a grin. "Why don't you go back to bed? It's still early."

Fox hesitated a moment, looking into patient, green eyes then, "N-no, I'm awake."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Each man fell silent for a moment, staring curiously at the other. Fox was the first to break the spell.

"I think I'll go take a shower. Maybe the warm water will help with some of the stiffness."

Alex gave him a soft smile and got to his feet, allowing Fox to rise from the chair. When the older man had vacated the room, Alex dropped back onto the sofa, turning the t.v. on. He watched the news, paying only partial attention to the reports. Most of his mind was focused on the day ahead, wondering what it would bring. He was still speculating when Fox emerged from the bathroom some twenty minutes later, wearing jeans and a lightweight, slate blue sweater that served to enhance the gray in his eyes.

"I...I got these clothes from one of the drawers you said were mine," Fox stammered, noting Alex's stare.

"Hmm? Oh, *yeah*, those are your clothes. Did you think they weren't?"

Fox shrugged. "You were staring."

Alex rose and walked over to the other man. "I'm sorry," he apologized softly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just that I still can't believe you're really here. I guess I need to keep reassuring myself."

Fox lowered his eyes and said nothing. Even though he didn't know Alex, the younger man knew *him* well enough to realize that he was feeling uneasy.

"I'll go get showered and dressed, and then we can have breakfast?"

"Okay," Fox answered noncommittally and moved toward his desk, tentatively poking around.

Alex journeyed to the bathroom and brushed his teeth then stepped into the shower. He closed his eyes, letting the soothing spray flow over his body. Thoughts of him and Fox together, washing and teasing each other, soon crept into his head and brought his cock to almost painful attention.

//Oh, God.//

Images of the two of them pressed together under a torrent of steaming water played in his head as he passed the sponge over his chest.

Mouths and hands everywhere, sliding over warm, slick skin...the cold contrast of the tiles as Fox pushed him against the wall, tongue exploring the muscled contours of his back...

Alex groaned softly within the confines of the shower as his hand moved the sponge lower, working in small circles toward his throbbing erection. He flinched as the sponge touched the head of his cock, his mind simultaneously seeing Fox's hand slide around and grasp the swollen shaft, teasing with light strokes.

He heard himself whimpering and begging to be fucked, and he could hear Fox laughing softly in his ear, a low throaty sound that turned his insides to hot liquid.

//Please, God...please, Fox...//

//Please, Fox, what?//

//Please fuck me.//

//You want it now?//

//Yeah, now.//

Alex wrapped the sponge around his cock and began to jerk it as he imagined his lover pushing between the cheeks of his ass and into his body.

//Jesus, baby, you're s-so tight. So hot...squeeze me, Alex. Yeah...that's it. God, that's good...//

Alex's muscles tightened as he increased the speed of his strokes. He could almost feel Fox's hand around him, pumping harder as he slammed into his ass.

//Come on, baby. Come for Fox...nice and hard...//

Alex leaned back against the wall as he tightened his grip, and the sponge flew over his cock. Harsh groans filtered through his gritted teeth as he came, shooting a warm geyser of fluid over his fist. He lay his head back against the tile, his breaths coming in short gasps as his orgasm subsided. Once sufficiently composed, he pushed himself slowly away from the wall and continued with his shower.

********************

Fox opened cabinet door after cabinet door, cursing softly to himself as he looked for a bowl to crack some eggs into.

"What are you doing?"

The other man turned at the now familiar sound of Alex's voice and sighed heavily.

"I thought I'd get breakfast started, but..."

Alex approached slowly. "But, what?"

"I don't..." Fox paused, sighing again impatiently. "...I don't know where anything is."

"It's all right," Alex soothed. "I'll show you...well, I see you already found the pots and pans..." He opened a cabinet door. "Here are the dishes and glasses." He closed that door and opened another. "The mixing bowls are here. The smaller ones are in front, and the bigger ones are in the back..."

"I *looked* there."

Alex began to laugh but cut it off when a wounded expression crossed the other man's face. "I'm sorry," he said, touching Fox's arm lightly. "It's just that I've heard that before."

"Heard what before?"

"What you just said about looking there. You'd be looking for something that I told you would be in a certain place, you'd turn the room upside down looking for it, then yell that you couldn't find it. I'd come in and pull it out of the exact spot where I told you it'd be, and you'd give me that 'I *looked* there' line." He gave Fox a tiny smile and a shrug. "It was just funny."

Fox couldn't help returning the smile. "Yeah, I guess it would be."

Alex gave the older man a toss of his head. "Come on, I'll show you where everything else is."

When the kitchen tour was finished, Alex began breakfast, Fox helping a bit then contenting himself to settle into a chair at the table, watching the younger man over a glass of orange juice.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?" Alex answered, not shifting his attention away from the omelet he was preparing to flip.

"Am I the same person you knew?"

Having successfully completed his task, Alex turned to face the seated man. "What do you mean?"

"Am I any different? I mean aside from the obvious."

"No, I wouldn't say so."

Fox studied the other man's face. "Is that the truth?"

"I've considered the possibility that your personality might undergo some sort of change, but, Fox, it's only been a day. Yeah, it's the truth."

"What if you find in a couple of days that it has?"

"That's why I made you promise to tell me if you decided that you didn't want to be with me."

"But maybe...maybe it'll be *you* who decides that."

Alex cocked his head, unsure of where Fox was going with his statement.

"I mean...maybe I'll change so much that it'll be you who doesn't want to be with *me*."

"No."

"You can't say that."

"Yes, I can. I don't care how much you change; I'm here for as long as you want me to be."

Fox shook his head. "No. No, I don't want you to hang around just because I might want you to. If you think I've changed too much...if I've turned into someone you don't want to be around, don't stay. You...you've been so good to me. I wouldn't want to put you through that."

"Fox..." Alex pulled a chair out and sat down, staring directly into the older man's eyes. "You'll never change so much that I wouldn't want to be with you."

"You don't know that."

"I *do* know that."

Fox fell silent, staring back into intense, green eyes.

He was so sure, so positive, Fox felt he had no choice but to believe.

"Damn, my omelet."

Alex bolted out of the chair, just barely saving breakfast from catastrophe. He served the omelet with wheat toast and coffee, and as they ate, Fox began asking more questions, requesting that Alex pick up where he left off the night before. Reluctantly, the younger man did as he was asked, and Fox listened without judgement, just as he had promised.

When breakfast was finished, they sat at the table sipping more coffee, Alex continuing to fill Fox in on his life. Fox broke in only occasionally to ask questions.

The doorbell rang in the middle of Alex's story about their encounter in Hong Kong.

"Must be your mother."

"Oh, yeah. She said she'd come by before she left, didn't she?"

Alex nodded and exited the kitchen with Fox close behind. They separated at the dining room, Fox moving into the living room, and Alex going to the door.

"Hello, Alex," Tina Mulder greeted the man at the door. "How are you?"

Alex gave the woman a warm smile. "Pretty good. You?"

"A bit fatigued; I'm afraid I didn't sleep very well. Never could rest properly in a bed other than my own."

Alex nodded his acknowledgement and stepped aside, allowing her to enter.

Scully walked in behind Mrs. Mulder and stopped in front of Alex.

"So, how'd you guys do last night?"

Emerald eyes lowered to the floor. "Not as badly as we could have."

"What's that mean?"

Alex glanced over to where Fox stood. His mother had engaged him in conversation, and his attention remained with her.

"We talked about how our relationship began years ago, and let's just say that he didn't take some of the facts very well."

Scully winced. "He seems okay, now."

Alex nodded. "Yeah. He was real upset with me, though. I mean, to the point where I had packed a bag and was going to call you and let know that he was alone."

"Oh, my God. But...you're still here. What happened?"

"He realized that if I went, he'd be alone. He associates me with security. He apologized and asked me to stay. You should have seen his face, Scully. He was scared. And so damn confused."

"Poor Mulder," Scully murmured, then realized that it had to have been hard on both of them. "God, and you must have been dying a thousand deaths."

Alex nodded. "He was so shocked. I was sure he hated me."

"It doesn't matter that he's lost his memory, Alex. Mulder associates more than just security with you. It may not be a conscious thing, but he's attracted to you. He always has been, and he always will be. You're in his blood like he's in yours. It took me a long time to come to that realization, but I have. It'll come back to him, too. Just give it a little time."

Alex gave his newfound friend a grateful smile. "Thank you."

Scully smiled back and moved past him into the living room to join Fox and his mother. "So," she took the opportunity to break in during the small silence, "how're you feeling today, Mulder?"

Fox gave the new arrival an unsteady smile. "Not bad." He looked up to meet the eyes of the man who had come to stand behind Scully. "We've been talking."

Scully nodded, noting the look that passed between them. "Yeah, Alex told me. I'm glad everything's okay."

Fox continued to hold Alex's gaze with his own. "Yeah...me too."

"Well, Fox," Mrs. Mulder took her son's hand. "I must be going, now. Mr. Skinner was good enough to arrange for my transportation home." She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Fox's neck. "I wouldn't be going if I didn't know that you were in very good hands." She turned and smiled at Alex, holding her hand out to him.

Alex hesitated for a moment then took the woman's hand and moved toward them.

"You trust Alex," she instructed in her most motherly tone, placing her son's hand in the other man's. "He loves you so very much, and he'll take care of you."

Alex lowered his eyes, a bit flustered by the woman's display of confidence. He kept his grip on Fox's hand slack, allowing the other man room to pull away if he wished.

Apparently, Fox didn't wish. He held onto Alex's hand and smiled down at the woman. "I trust him."

"Good. Well, it's time that I left. I'll call you when I get home, all right?"

Fox nodded.

Mrs. Mulder kissed one man, then the other and departed, followed by Scully, who called out that she'd be in touch soon as she closed the door behind her.

The men stood together, hands still linked until Fox noticed the look of discomfort on Alex's face. He gently pulled his hand away and cleared his throat. "Sh...she really likes you."

"Yeah," Alex shrugged, casting his eyes downward. "Go figure."

Fox hesitated then stuttered a bit before he got the words out.

"I...I like you too."

Alex gave him a sad smile and inched away. "I'm gonna go clean up the kitchen."

"I'll help you," Fox offered, following the younger man from the room.

They ended up talking again about their history, and by late afternoon Fox had begun to grow weary. He bowed his head, lightly rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Another headache?" Alex asked, concerned as he came to sit on the sofa beside Fox.

"Yeah...it's starting to hurt a little."

"Okay, no more for today. Why don't you lie down and I'll go get us some dinner?"

Fox began to rise. "I want to help."

"Nope." Alex gently held him down. "You rest. Close your eyes."

"It's not that bad," Fox protested, but Alex would not accept any argument.

"Maybe not, but it'll get worse if you don't relax. Now, come on. Lie down."

Grudgingly, Fox complied with Alex's request, lying on his back and pouting up at the other man.

Alex's heart leapt in his chest. The expression was so purely Fox, for a moment he could almost forget that this man lying in front of him wasn't exactly who he'd been just a week ago.

"I'm not a baby," Fox muttered, the pain in his head making him a bit cranky.

'But you're *my* baby,' was on the tip of Alex's tongue, but he choked back the words and merely gave Fox a tiny grin.

"Stay put. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

Fox sighed heavily, closing his eyes when Alex had disappeared from his sight. He couldn't even recall having a thought before his eyes were again opening. He blinked sluggishly, hearing the gravelly, soft tones of the other man's voice.

"...Come on, Fox, wake up."

"Hmmm."

"Dinner's ready."

Fox winced as he pulled himself into a sitting position.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"About an hour and a half."

"Really?"

"Yeah. How's your head?"

"A little heavy, but okay."

"Hungry?"

"I guess."

"You want to come sit at the table, or you want to eat here?"

"N-no, I'll get up."

Alex rose from his knees and helped Fox to his feet, following closely as he wobbled to the dining room table. Once the older man was seated, he served the meal, and they ate in companionable silence.

"Must have been hungrier than I thought," Fox commented, looking down at his virtually empty plate a few minutes later.

"Good," Alex smiled. "That's good. Am I pushing my luck or can I tempt you with a little..." His voice broke and his words were abruptly cut off as Fox's body jerked and his eyes squeezed shut. Alex flew out of his chair and was by the other man's side instantly, dropping to his knees in front of him. "Fox...what is it? Where does it hurt?"

Fox's hands rose to his head, fingers curling in his hair as he grimaced.

"Your head? Damn, again?"

Slight nod.

"Okay, come on. I want you in bed." Alex managed to get Fox out of his chair and steered him toward the bedroom, guiding him down to the mattress. When Fox settled onto his side, Alex sat beside him, tenderly stroking his hair. "Fox?"

The older man lifted his eyelids halfway.

"Can you give me a clue? Do you know what brought this pain on?"

"Noise."

"Noise? What noise?"

"Loud. Like a cannon," Fox whispered.

Alex shook his head. "Where? I don't...did you hear it in your head?"

Another nod.

"Was there anything else? Another sound? Could you see anything?"

"Nooo," Fox whined softly. "Just...a loud noise."

"Okay," Alex cooed. "Shhh. Rest. I'm going to call Scully and let her know what's going on."

As Alex rose, Fox tried to sit up, wincing with the effort. "No, don't."

"She's your doctor, Fox," Alex argued softly, coaxing him back to the bed. "There's something wrong with you, and she should know."

"I'll be all right. Please..."

Alex frowned down at the other man. "Why don't you want me to call her?"

Fox closed his eyes and turned his head into the pillow, refusing to answer.

"Fox..."

"I don't want to go back to the hospital."

"Who said anything about a hospital?"

"She's a doctor. She'll want me to go."

"Not necessarily. And if she does, it'll be because she feels it's the best place for you to be."

"*No*."

"You don't have to be afraid of the hospital, Fox..."

"I don't want to go to another strange place," Fox moaned, lifting a hand to his forehead. "Want to stay...here. Please, Alex. Please..."

"All right." Alex lowered his head to the other man's, murmuring softly against his cheek. "All right."

"Promise," Fox begged, closing his fingers in Alex's shirt, holding the younger man against him.

"I promise," Alex whispered, at that precise moment willing to say anything to calm the frantic man. "No hospital. Now, will you please let me call Scully?"

Fox moaned softly in protest.

"Fox?" Alex tucked a hand under his cheek and turned his face until their eyes met. "Trust me?"

Fox stared up at the younger man through slitted eyes then let his lids drop. He nodded once, and Alex let his thumb sweep across his chin before picking up the phone and dialing Scully's number.

********************

Scully slid down to the floor between her sofa and coffee table, preparing to dig into a quart of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream when the phone rang. She dropped her spoon onto the table and snatched up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Alex."

"Hi. What's up?"

"I'm calling about Fox."

Scully pulled herself up out of her slouch. "Is he okay?"

"He's having headaches, Scully," Alex said softly into the phone, not wanting to wake the man who had quickly slipped into unconsciousness.

"Headaches? What kind of headaches?"

"Hard to explain. The first two I'd definitely categorize as regular headaches. They seem to have been brought on by stress and exhaustion. He started with each one after we'd been talking for a while..."

"Nothing odd about that."

"No, I guess not, but this one that just came on him after dinner. I'm not so sure I'd call it a headache, exactly."

Scully drummed on the tabletop. "What *would* you call it?"

"We hadn't been talking. We had a nice, quiet dinner. He ate well, and I was about to offer him some dessert when he was just...blindsided by pain. I got him into bed and asked him to tell me about it. He said he heard a sound. Like a cannon blast...in his head. That's it. Just that one, loud sound, and it caused him so much pain."

"Does it still hurt?"

"I don't think so. It's at least subsided enough to let him sleep." Alex reached down to let his fingers skim over the golden-brown surface of the sleeping man's hair. "He's out cold."

"Hmm. Alex, I have to say that if that continues, he'll have to be examined...have some tests run, but..."

"You don't mean we'll have to put him in the hospital, do you?"

"Possibly. Why?"

"We can't, Scully. He's terrified of going back to a hospital. He didn't want me to call you for fear you'd suggest that. I had to promise him that there would be no hospitals."

"*Alex*..."

"I know, I know, but you didn't see him, Scully. He was really uptight."

"I understand, Alex, and I sympathize. The last thing I want to do is shake him up any more than he has to be. But if there's something wrong with him and the best place for him is a hospital, then that's where he should go."

"I know, but....last resort, okay? I promised him..."

"You shouldn't have done that," Scully chastised.

"Yeah, *you* look into those wide, scared eyes. *You* sit here with him clinging to you and begging you to keep him out of someplace he really doesn't want to be, and then tell me you wouldn't do exactly what I did."

Scully sighed into the phone. "You know, Alex, I never thought I'd say this to you."

"Say, what?"

"You're a *sap*."

"S'cuse me?"

"You are. When it comes to Mulder, you're like...warm Jello."

"Warm *Jello*..."

"Yeah. All he's gotta do is give you that wounded puppy look, and you're all done."

"He's not playing me, Scully; he's really scared."

"I don't doubt that he is. And I know that he needs some special care right now, but, Alex, you've got to be firm with him."

"I will be if there's absolutely no other choice. But he trusts me, Scully, and I'm not going to do anything to break that trust if I can help it."

"I know. You seem to be the only one he trusts completely. I wouldn't want to do anything to change that either. And anyway, I don't really think hospitalization is necessary. Not right now. Don't get your hopes up, but I think the pain Mulder experienced could possibly be connected to a memory."

In spite of Scully's warning, Alex's heart leapt. "You think?"

"The sound; the cannon blast. Could've been a gunshot. Maybe he's starting to remember a case...an instant where he had to use his gun."

Sable eyebrows arched curiously. "Maybe."

"Keep a close eye on him. If he experiences pain not associated with any sounds or visions, let me know."

"I will. Thanks, Scully."

"Night, Alex."

Alex dropped the phone onto the bed and watched Fox sleep. A tiny smile curved his lips at the thought that his lover's memory might actually be returning. He leaned over and planted a soft kiss on the stubbled cheek then turned the light out and exited the room.

********************

 

* * *

 

Not On My Watch IV - Remember Me continued

* * *

The next several days brought no more pain for Fox, but there were no signs of his returning memory either. He did suffer one minor headache, but that was after a lengthy history session. Some Motrin, a couple of hours of rest in his darkened bedroom, and he was fine.

Alex continued to display unlimited patience and concern, and things seemed to be going well. But when night came and Fox retreated to the bedroom leaving Alex to the sofa, the reality of just how far apart they still were settled in over the younger man like a metal casket lid.

Night after night he lay alone, dreaming of the day when Fox would know him and accept him back into his heart and his bed. Night after night he'd take refuge in his own memories, recalling the love and unquenchable passion they had shared.

Tonight he lay sprawled on the sofa as usual, light from the t.v. flickering over his body, immersed in his fantasies. His hands wandered over his body, imagining that they were the hands of his Fox, stroking and caressing him, slowly driving him to that sweet madness the way only Fox could do.

"Baby," he whispered roughly into the darkness. "Oh, God, I need you so much..."

One hand slid up and over his throat and chin, pausing as he licked at his own fingers, then his hand continued up, sliding through his hair and down the side of his neck. His hand traveled down to his chest, brushing and plucking at one hard nipple while the other stroked the sensitive insides of his thighs.

"Too long," he whimpered. "Please, baby, it's been too long..."

His hand inched higher, cupping the sac that hung just beneath his throbbing cock, caressing the fragile skin gently. He breathed deeply, trying to maintain his control, but it was quickly slipping beyond his grasp. He whimpered softly as his fingers curled around the base of his cock, and he began to squeeze in a gentle rhythm. His breaths came in short, soft gasps, the sound of his lover's name being carried on each one...

********************


End file.
